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Old 04-09-2012, 12:51 PM
 
23,838 posts, read 23,123,773 times
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Quote:
Misha McLamb helped keep fighter jets flying during a military career that took her halfway around the world to the Persian Gulf. But back home, the Navy aircraft specialist is barely getting by after a series of blows that undid her settled life.

She was laid off from work last year and lost custody of her daughter. She's grappled with alcohol abuse, a carry-over from heavy-drinking Navy days. She spent nights in her car before a friend's boyfriend wrecked it, moving later to a homeless shelter where the insulin needles she needs for her diabetes were stolen.

She now lives in transitional housing for homeless veterans — except the government recently advised occupants to leave because of unsafe building conditions.

"I wasn't a loser," McLamb, 32, says. "Everybody who's homeless doesn't necessarily have to have something very mentally wrong with them. Some people just have bad circumstances with no resources."
More women vets are homeless, but housing scarce | Washington Examiner (http://washingtonexaminer.com/entertainment/health/2012/04/more-women-vets-are-homeless-housing-scarce/460846 - broken link)

How in the world do you go from a well-trained, well-qualified aircraft technician to a homeless veteran?

Well, let's analyze the uncontrollables:

1) She was laid off from her job. Undoubtedly this was a big blow to her lifestyle and her means of survival.

2) She's a diabetic and requires insulin.

That's where sympathy should come to a screeching halt, in my opinion.



Now lets analyze the controllables:

1) She left the military, undoubtedly the most stable job a person can have. It was her decision, no harm, no foul. But was it a good decision?

2) She lost custody of her daughter. Although we don't know why, it's pretty clear that a woman has to screw up pretty badly to lose custody of her own child. It is not uncommon for the male to lose custody, but the mother? There's more to this woman than meets the eye.

3) She's an alcoholic who continues to "grapple" with alcohol abuse. The article attributes this to her "heavy drinking days" in the Navy. Whose fault is that?

4) She lived in her car, but her car was wrecked by a "friends boyfriend." What kind of person lets a mere acquaintance take their car for a spin if that's the only means for shelter? Whose fault is this?

While I am sympathetic to the world of homeless people and homeless veterans, I am NOT sympathetic to the the plight of people whose lives are riddled with poor decisions.

How far should society and taxpayers be willing to go in continuing to subsidize bad life decisions? Where will we draw the line?
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Old 04-09-2012, 12:56 PM
miu
 
Location: MA/NH
17,769 posts, read 40,171,028 times
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Based on the information so far, her problem is the result of a LOT of bad decision making on her part. I have noticed from observing many people over many decades that I know firsthand, that there is very little bad luck causing a tough life, just many bad personal choices.
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Old 04-09-2012, 01:00 PM
 
23,838 posts, read 23,123,773 times
Reputation: 9409
Quote:
Originally Posted by miu View Post
Based on the information so far, her problem is the result of a LOT of bad decision making on her part. I have noticed from observing many people over many decades that I know firsthand, that there is very little bad luck causing a tough life, just many bad personal choices.
Your objectivity is very refreshing. I agree with you 100%.
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Old 04-09-2012, 01:04 PM
 
48,502 posts, read 96,856,573 times
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Actaully she fit the pattern of alot more people than just veterans and I am a veteran.Alcohol abuse ruins many lifes.
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Old 04-09-2012, 01:08 PM
 
23,838 posts, read 23,123,773 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by texdav View Post
Actaully she fit the pattern of alot more people than just veterans and I am a veteran.Alcohol abuse ruins many lifes.
You're absolutely right Dave. I'll also add that, as a veteran, she has access to more services than the average non-veteran. The VA should provide her housing support until she gets back on her feet, but that's where they should draw the line. Her addictions, her afflictions, her dysfunction is her responsibility.
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Old 04-09-2012, 01:13 PM
 
Location: Free From The Oppressive State
30,253 posts, read 23,737,137 times
Reputation: 38634
Quote:
Originally Posted by AeroGuyDC View Post
More women vets are homeless, but housing scarce | Washington Examiner (http://washingtonexaminer.com/entertainment/health/2012/04/more-women-vets-are-homeless-housing-scarce/460846 - broken link)

How in the world do you go from a well-trained, well-qualified aircraft technician to a homeless veteran?

Well, let's analyze the uncontrollables:

1) She was laid off from her job. Undoubtedly this was a big blow to her lifestyle and her means of survival.

2) She's a diabetic and requires insulin.

That's where sympathy should come to a screeching halt, in my opinion.



Now lets analyze the controllables:

1) She left the military, undoubtedly the most stable job a person can have. It was her decision, no harm, no foul. But was it a good decision?

2) She lost custody of her daughter. Although we don't know why, it's pretty clear that a woman has to screw up pretty badly to lose custody of her own child. It is not uncommon for the male to lose custody, but the mother? There's more to this woman than meets the eye.

3) She's an alcoholic who continues to "grapple" with alcohol abuse. The article attributes this to her "heavy drinking days" in the Navy. Whose fault is that?

4) She lived in her car, but her car was wrecked by a "friends boyfriend." What kind of person lets a mere acquaintance take their car for a spin if that's the only means for shelter? Whose fault is this?

While I am sympathetic to the world of homeless people and homeless veterans, I am NOT sympathetic to the the plight of people whose lives are riddled with poor decisions.

How far should society and taxpayers be willing to go in continuing to subsidize bad life decisions? Where will we draw the line?
Agree on the uncontrollables.

Don't agree on all the "controllables".

How long was she in? Was she in for a few years? Is this to imply that anyone who serves this country and then gets out has made a bad decision if they find themselves in need later on whether it be a year or 10 years later? Do you know how stringent the military is being anymore? When I was in, they were making cut backs. We had the most awesome Lt ever and they chose to cut him out of the military, against his wishes, due to cutbacks. He was smart, he was a great Lt, he didn't "screw up" anywhere, they just cut him out. Was that a bad decision on his part? Do we know why she got out? Was she wounded? Maybe war was more than she could handle. Maybe she was thinking she wanted to be there for her daughter. Why is that considered a bad decision because you want to be a civilian again? I completely disagree with this.

Alcohol abuse...well, no one forced her to pick up that first drink, you're right there.

Do we know that she gave the friend's boyfriend permission? Maybe he was trying to help her out or she was trying to help him out? We don't know the circumstances. SHE did not wreck the car and why didn't HE pay for the damn thing?

Are you implying that only homeless people make bad decisions? Do people who have the means not make bad decisions but are spared homelessness because of family or they didn't lose their jobs or some twit didn't wreck their home? What if someone came to your house and accidentally burned it down? Is it YOUR fault they burned it down? Really? Are you that harsh?

It's not like she was sitting around not doing a damn thing, she was working.

The difference between poor people and those who aren't poor is that if you are not poor, you can make an error and still be ok. When you are poor, THERE IS NO ROOM FOR ERROR and sorry, but these are human beings and human beings MAKE ERRORS. To turn away from them because they chose a thing wrong here or there is heartless.

Were she sitting around on her arse, not trying, not doing a thing, asking for a hand out when she was perfectly able, then I'd agree with you but she wasn't doing that. She was working. She was trying. She lived in her damn car for crying out loud...do you know what that does to a person? It's easy to sit here and say, "that would make me try harder" but you aren't living in your car, are you? Who is to say she wasn't trying harder? Who is to say that the loss of her job was just total and complete sh*t luck?

Many people in this country are up sh... creek without a paddle if they lose their jobs...there are kids who have gone to college and are now working some low paying job while they send out their resumes everywhere...if they lost that low paying job, does that mean they weren't trying?

C'mon. Stop acting like everyone had to make 100% right decisions at all times, end of story, no room for error, that's it, or they don't deserve anything.

Do you know why people end up like this? Because somewhere down the road, they made a bad choice. So we condemn them all to homelessness and no help because even though WE make bad decisions as well, we are above that just because we have a little more money than they do?

Sit around and ask for a hand out, not want to work, not even try...screw 'em. I agree.

Work, raise your kid, do what you can, make a couple of bad choices...well, ********* too?

REALLY?!!!?!

If people were making all the right decisions, THEY WOULDN'T BE HOMELESS!

So in essence, screw all the homeless.
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Old 04-09-2012, 01:28 PM
 
23,838 posts, read 23,123,773 times
Reputation: 9409
Quote:
Agree on the uncontrollables.

Don't agree on all the "controllables".

How long was she in? Was she in for a few years? Is this to imply that anyone who serves this country and then gets out has made a bad decision if they find themselves in need later on whether it be a year or 10 years later? Do you know how stringent the military is being anymore? When I was in, they were making cut backs. We had the most awesome Lt ever and they chose to cut him out of the military, against his wishes, due to cutbacks. He was smart, he was a great Lt, he didn't "screw up" anywhere, they just cut him out. Was that a bad decision on his part? Do we know why she got out? Was she wounded? Maybe war was more than she could handle. Maybe she was thinking she wanted to be there for her daughter. Why is that considered a bad decision because you want to be a civilian again? I completely disagree with this.
Those are valid questions. Neither of us know the answer. But I believe you're overstating the amount of people who are cut from the military against their wishes. Have there been cuts? Sure. Was she part of those cuts? Statistically, I doubt it.

Quote:
Alcohol abuse...well, no one forced her to pick up that first drink, you're right there.
Glad we agree.

Quote:

Do we know that she gave the friend's boyfriend permission? Maybe he was trying to help her out or she was trying to help him out? We don't know the circumstances. SHE did not wreck the car and why didn't HE pay for the damn thing?
If she didn't give him permission, then he should be put in jail for auto-theft. Personally, I think you're hedging in her defense simply for argument's sake. The possibility that she was not aware that her car was being borrowed is probably pretty narrow. It was a terrible decision in my view.

Quote:
Are you implying that only homeless people make bad decisions? Do people who have the means not make bad decisions but are spared homelessness because of family or they didn't lose their jobs or some twit didn't wreck their home? What if someone came to your house and accidentally burned it down? Is it YOUR fault they burned it down? Really? Are you that harsh?
I'm not implying that at all. In fact, part and parcel of the thread is to assess how far American's are willing to go to subsidize bad decisions, veteran or not.

Quote:
The difference between poor people and those who aren't poor is that if you are not poor, you can make an error and still be ok. When you are poor, THERE IS NO ROOM FOR ERROR and sorry, but these are human beings and human beings MAKE ERRORS. To turn away from them because they chose a thing wrong here or there is heartless.
I'm not heartless. I'm persistent in the idea that too many American act without thinking. Yes, we all make mistakes, and yes some have more room for error than others. Personal Irresponsibility is slowly becoming a value in America. I'm seeking to bring attention to that. This woman is a good example.

Quote:
Were she sitting around on her arse, not trying, not doing a thing, asking for a hand out when she was perfectly able, then I'd agree with you but she wasn't doing that. She was working. She was trying. She lived in her damn car for crying out loud...do you know what that does to a person? It's easy to sit here and say, "that would make me try harder" but you aren't living in your car, are you? Who is to say she wasn't trying harder? Who is to say that the loss of her job was just total and complete sh*t luck?
She lost custody of her child. She's an alchoholic. You're attempting to make this woman out as a victim of circumstances. I will concede this.....she's a victim of her own circumstances. Something tells me she brought much of this onto herself.

<SNIP>

That's the whole point of the OP. People make bad decisions.....yes......but where do you draw the line on throwing them a life raft? Will you agree to pay for everyone in society who makes a bad decision?
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Old 04-09-2012, 02:00 PM
 
Location: OCEAN BREEZES AND VIEWS SAN CLEMENTE
19,893 posts, read 18,444,477 times
Reputation: 6465
Quote:
Originally Posted by AeroGuyDC View Post
You're absolutely right Dave. I'll also add that, as a veteran, she has access to more services than the average non-veteran. The VA should provide her housing support until she gets back on her feet, but that's where they should draw the line. Her addictions, her afflictions, her dysfunction is her responsibility.
I agree with you, and i am positive there are more of these cases out there, we don't hear about them all.
I can be sorry to a point. However where does one draw a line, for making bad choices in life, her choices.
She herself choice her addictions, no one did that for her, her dysfunction is definitely her responsibility.
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Old 04-09-2012, 02:04 PM
 
Location: New Hampshire
4,866 posts, read 5,678,521 times
Reputation: 3786
I feel bad for her because I was also homeless at one point in my life (I don't do drugs nor drink so those weren't the reasons) it sucks but you need to learn from it, move on and do something. There is no way around it.
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Old 04-09-2012, 02:26 PM
 
23,838 posts, read 23,123,773 times
Reputation: 9409
Quote:
Originally Posted by KickAssArmyChick View Post
I feel bad for her because I was also homeless at one point in my life (I don't do drugs nor drink so those weren't the reasons) it sucks but you need to learn from it, move on and do something. There is no way around it.
The difference here is that you are responsible enough to make good decisions to get yourself back on the right path. I applaud you.
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