Dihydrogen monoxide must be banned! (Al Gore, legal, regular, deaths)

[BillyBaroo]

Dihydrogen monoxide is colorless, odorless, tasteless, and kills uncounted thousands of people every year. Most of these deaths are caused by accidental inhalation of DHMO, but the dangers of dihydrogen monoxide do not end there. Prolonged exposure to its solid form causes severe tissue damage. Symptoms of DHMO ingestion can include excessive sweating and urination, and possibly a bloated feeling, nausea, vomiting and body electrolyte imbalance. For those who have become dependent, DHMO withdrawal means certain death.

Dihydrogen monoxide:
is also known as hydroxyl acid, and is the major component of acid rain.
contributes to the "greenhouse effect."
may cause severe burns.
contributes to the erosion of our natural landscape.
accelerates corrosion and rusting of many metals.
may cause electrical failures and decreased effectiveness of automobile brakes.
has been found in excised tumors of terminal cancer patients.

Contamination Is Reaching Epidemic Proportions!
Quantities of dihydrogen monoxide have been found in almost every stream, lake, and reservoir in America today. But the pollution is global, and the contaminant has even been found in Antarctic ice. DHMO has caused millions of dollars of property damage in the midwest, and recently California.

Despite the danger, dihydrogen monoxide is often used:
as an industrial solvent and coolant.
in nuclear power plants.
in the production of styrofoam.
as a fire retardant.
in many forms of cruel animal research.
in the distribution of pesticides. Even after washing, produce remains contaminated by this chemical.
as an additive in certain "junk-foods" and other food products.
Companies dump waste DHMO into rivers and the ocean, and nothing can be done to stop them because this practice is still legal. The impact on wildlife is extreme, and we cannot afford to ignore it any longer!

The Horror Must Be Stopped!
The American government has refused to ban the production, distribution, or use of this damaging chemical due to its "importance to the economic health of this nation." In fact, the navy and other military organizations are conducting experiments with DHMO, and designing multi-billion dollar devices to control and utilize it during warfare situations. Hundreds of military research facilities receive tons of it through a highly sophisticated underground distribution network. Many store large quantities for later use.

[Mike1306]

Water.....

[guhor]

Sir, you get my vote for CDF creative writer of the year. So what do we do about this problem? Is Hillary aware? Is Al Gore on this? Where can we send money? Has move on.org been alerted? It sounds awful, somebody do somethin quick! It's that damn Bush, I knew it. That's what brought down the towers, they probably poured it on the concrete then struck a match. We're all gonna die...aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh!

[Poltracker]

This is an old one but it is still funny.

[saganista]

Good to see this one make the rounds every now and then. It didn't itself of course, but the fact is that it parodies what so regularly comes out of the right-wing disinformation media almost to a tee...

[guhor]

The right disinformation media as opposed to the left information media. Oh Saggy honey, you are so funny.

[saganista]

Funny trumps irrelevant...

[rd2007]

funny could, if it was indeed funny... and I love to watch the lefties squirm when they confront one of their envirowhacko brothers... too bad, so sad, should be a little more careful of who you allow to speak for your party...

but it's cool, if I had as many loons as the left had I wouldn't claim most of them either... anybody want some baba streisand quotes? I have a million of them...

[guhor]

Only if your playing with a deck of 51.