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Old 09-23-2007, 02:32 PM
 
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HIF sadly racism never goes away and we aren't born with it, it is taught to us mostly by parents/adults or spread through other kids. Jacksonville isn't the most racially diverse city in Florida either so it doesn't surprise me to hear this. Many here have suggested talking to the school & administrators which is a great idea.
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Old 09-23-2007, 03:37 PM
 
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I agree with UB50. I lived in LA (Venice) for a while...I was surprised to see how well people of different cultures, religions & races related with each other... and it wasn't just in their word's, you could see it in who they hired, who they dated, who they married & who they were friends with...
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Old 09-23-2007, 07:43 PM
 
Location: SE Florida
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In discussing it with my family and some members of my church, I am finding that they are of two opinions. One woman at church said that there is racism everywhere and she should learn to let it run off her back. Others said to discuss it with the teacher and/or parents. I think this speaks to the broader issue of racism and how it is perceived. Just an ugly truth to be ignored or one to be addressed. Not unsimilar to the issue of bullying- there will always be bullies VS the bullies need to be called on their actions.

I will be meeting with her teacher for two reasons. One- because I want to teach my gdaughter that racism is never okay and to reinforce that she, like others, is a child of God. That words can hurt as much as fists and that I am here to protect her, as is her teacher. Two- because, as much as racism is deeply woven into our culture (and that of many other countries), that doesn't mean that we should consider it an acceptable practice or just ignore it. Fleas will never go away, but I treat my dog when I find them. She deserves as much.

What I hope to get out of it is 1- my gdaughter will learn how to defend herself in a civilized, proactive way and she will receive reinforcement that she is just as valued as any other child in that school and hopefully, will be empowered to defend herself (And others) in a positive way. and 2- that the boys will learn form this that words can hurt and that they will, hopefully, gain some empathy that could help them be better citizens at best, or, at least keep them from getting their a$$es kicked, should they repeat their statements to someone in the future. Especially that one boy. Here in Jax, it could well save his life.

One statement was naive and not said to intentionally harm, the other quite different. Both can learn from this, if handled the right way. I want neither child punished. I just want them to have their consciousness' raised so that they can grow from this experience. And that one kid should never refer to her that way agiain.

That being said, my personal bottom line is that no one wil be spoken to that way with my knowledge without it being addressed. No one. The only difference here is that it was my grandchild and the pain that I feel for her is worse than if it had happened to me.
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Old 09-23-2007, 09:11 PM
 
Location: Northeast TN
3,885 posts, read 8,107,851 times
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It is so unfortunate that anyone has to deal with racism in our society today. I feel so badly for you and your granddaughter. From your last post, it sounds like you have found the advice you need to deal with the problem and I wish both the best.
I wanted to mention a story that I've used in my classroom before - "How The People Became Color Blind" by Faith Ringgold. It's written for a younger audience, but your granddaughter may appreciate the sentiment.
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Old 09-23-2007, 09:45 PM
 
Location: SE Florida
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Thanks, Mooks. We will get that book from the library this week.

I have spoken to my g'daughter...will share tomorrow. But she informed me that the kid (turns out it was one kid over a couple weeks' time) was prejudiced, not racist. Out of the mouth of babes.
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Old 09-24-2007, 11:22 AM
 
Location: Kentucky Bluegrass
28,888 posts, read 30,142,652 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MooksterL1 View Post
It is so unfortunate that anyone has to deal with racism in our society today. I feel so badly for you and your granddaughter. From your last post, it sounds like you have found the advice you need to deal with the problem and I wish both the best.
I wanted to mention a story that I've used in my classroom before - "How The People Became Color Blind" by Faith Ringgold. It's written for a younger audience, but your granddaughter may appreciate the sentiment.

oh, that is a very good story....

it really hurts the heart to have to tell your children and grandchildren about this hateful stuff....in the end, I hope all works out for you and yours...please let us know what happens.

Hugs
Creme
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Old 09-26-2007, 03:00 PM
 
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As a teacher, I would definitely want to know about an incident like this. I have never been aware of any racist comments from my students...I'm a public school teacher in a diverse school. If this kind of thing happened with my students and I found out about, I would take it as far as I could to let it be known that intolerance is not condoned. The principal and guidance counselers should be involved as well, and it does need to be handled discreetly so the victim isn't singled out for any reason. In private school a lot more can be done...the school doesn't have to tolerate this type of offense; in public schools, a student just about has to murder someone before he can be expelled.
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Old 09-27-2007, 07:34 AM
 
Location: Dallas, Texas
3,589 posts, read 4,129,341 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HIF View Post
My grand daughter experienced direct racism for the first time last week. She is 10YO, her mother is black, her father (my son) is white. Both parents were teens when she was born and I have raised her for nine years.

She is brilliant, funny, beautiful and ...well, I'm her (grand) mother, what else would I say?!

This year she and my 13 YO were enrolled in a very good private school. I can't say enough about the teachers and administrators.

She is the only bi-racial child in her class. There are two Indian children. The rest are white. The school is about 500 kids and there are a handful of black children, some middle eastern kids. Mostly Christian, a couple of Jews. Last week the kids were talking about a party that someone was having. A boy asked her if she was going to the party and she said that she didn't know about it. Then the boy say, "Oh, that's right, you're black."

She is also in the afterschool program with kids from other classes and, also on Friday, a boy was rushing by her and said, "Get out of the way ni@#er".

This breaks my heart. While I knew from the day she was born that she would experience direct racism one day, never did I expect such direct comments to be made in this environment.

She is spending the weekend with her dad and told him. I will see her tomorrow. She did not want her dad to tell anyone because she doesn't want to be labeled a tattle tale.

Bottom line, I sent an e-mail to her homeroom teacher asking for her dad, me and the teacher to meet. I don't want to do anything to keep her from confiding in us in the future, but I also strongly believe that the teacher must be made aware of it. And, ultimately, I want her to see that there are ways to resolve issues like these that bring a positive outcome.

Words of wisdom, direction, 2 cents please!
I think you did the right thing by arranging to speak to her teacher. The kids who did this need to know that that sort of behavior is unacceptable in civilized society.
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