This is why I vote Republican.

[hotair2]

Originally Posted by emcee squared

I hope you didn't type this up by hand because it would have been a total waste of time.

That is what I was thinking.

[SLCPUNK]

Originally Posted by uggabugga

i could only make it past the first 60 seconds before being overcome by nausea. there were so many things wrong in just that short time period that it would take the rest of the afternoon to give it the humilation it so thoroughly deserves

Tough looking in the mirror huh? You should try reading your own posts sometimes...

[git45]

I'm voting for Romney in hope that earning his favor will grant me my own planet near Kolob where we can exchange awkward conversations about bad cookies and "Wawa'ss." I personally think saving this country's economy and prosperity is contingent on reverting back to the economic policies that crippled it in the first place. Of course it will work this time! Why? Because I say so and the angel Moroni told me that Obama is an evil Kenyan Muslim Mujahideen terrorist socialist second coming of the antichrist and will summon an army of orcs and jew-bots to ravage the country and feast on our unborn children. He's persuaded the those weak and hysterical women into thinking they're people by inventing this "war on women." What do you mean they have rights? That's silly. We all know women were created by Jesus Christ for man's amusement. Don't encourage them. They'll get ideas. Silly, silly, ideas. Obammer don't like gud ol' fashun valyooz and wants us to become the Soviet Yoonyern with his reggulashuns!! Sure Romney doesn't appear to be breathing and his body temp appears to be a frigid 49 degrees, and Police dogs can't trace a scent whenever near him, but I KNOW there's a heart in there. A heart that isn't beating for Kenya, a heart that is not a rigged explosive that will paint the target for the laser-beam eyes of Allah. I bet Mitt Romney smells like Mahogany and cologne to cover up cigar funk and mints to cover up coffee breath (hot liquids!! Heavenly Father FORGIVE ME). I bet he takes his trusty palomino Pembroke out on midnight dressage adventures, singing forbidden folk songs by the light of the moon as his horse trots like there's something stuck to its rump. As everyone knows, Romney is a real war hero, not like that crocodile hunter frenchman John Kerry. He was the first man to wear black slacks and a short-sleeve white button down in military history at the battle of Bastogne. He was decorated with the Brigham Young golden underwear award for courage and mormon-ness. In the midst of chaos, he solicited the LDS to 17 men, all of whom were missing their legs.

Mitt Romney may not be able to relate to most Americans, I think he has trouble relating to himself when he isn't bathing in liquid bullion. If he has a gut, I know he uses it because sometimes he walks carefully like he's about to poot, but maybe the hydraulic lifts in his legs are malfunctioning. I think he would be a good president because he has no tears and he doesn't blink: you never now what happens when those peepers close for half a second. Romney swears to protect Israel at least until he has the money to pave it over to build a massive space ship that will send the faithful & those who contributed over 1 billion to his campaign to leave earth forever for it will soon be acquired by Bain and will be gutted and all "redundancies" will be delt with accordingly.

I can't wait for Romney to assume the emerald throne of Yalba'oth and soon the kingdoms will be united to lay siege to the fortress of sodomy that is San Francisco. Sourdough will RAIN FROM THE SKY LIKE SULFUR. They heathens will be saved and all give Romney hugs, feeling his sandpapery stubble that could only come from a LEADER OF MEN...or indiana jones. If Romney grew a majestic Tom Selleck stache, he would already be in the white house because he has captured America's hearts!!