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Most of the time in addition to this being a conversation starter, its usually asked by work obsessed people who have no social skills and have to resort to talking about work just to have something to talk about because its the only thing they know. If I'm at a social event on my day off, the last thing I want to talk about is work! What I do see often times is a person ask the question just so when the question is fired back at him he can boast about his position and what he/she does.
Then use your conversational skills.
Some people hate their jobs, so if you don't want to talk about work, then a simple statement that you would rather not be talking about your job will turn the conversation away from you. If you don't care to hear about some person brag about their expensive sports car, their trip to Rome, or name drop about celebrity acquaintances, then it's your turn to to redirect the conversation.
It can be, depends on who and how it is asked I suppose. I ran into a former classmate once at a bar type situation, and she stated to my friend and I "How have you guys been, what do you do for a living?" Just like that! I thought it was rude in that situation because she was very abrupt and obvious about it. I told her, and my friend told her, and she asked if we were married and had family. We answered that, and she all of the sudden "had to go"...but didn't really go! It was clearly a game of one upmanship like you see in high school!
Have you ever been out at a gathering with people you meet for the first time and everyone is getting along well and then someone asks "hey what do you do for a living??"
I find that to be rude. I read that in France you could go to a dinner party every other night with several couples for a year and NO ONE would dare ask what you do for a living. They would ask questions like what book did you read last, Or have you visited the Louve museum or some sort of museum or discuss the arts.
But why do we Americans have the tendency to do this?? I hired someone to do some work for me and that was one of the questions he asked me--I was immediately turned off. My reply was do you base your fee upon occupation??? He was silent. Very evident he didnt like that response. Its as if alot of Americans feel entitled to know what you do for a living as a way to size you up.
So then he says wow I never met someone so secretive about their occupation--Are you a top government official on an assignment. At that point I terminated his contract and taught him a very good lesson in professionalism. You are here to do a job, not attempt to pass judgement or size up your client.
What are your thoughts?? Anyone else find this question rude and annoying??
My first thought is that you should move to France. People spend a majority of their time at work, nothing wrong with asking what they do for a living.
My first thought is that you should move to France. People spend a majority of their time at work, nothing wrong with asking what they do for a living.
And who knows, maybe they are like this in France because they DONT work as much as Americans. Not many of us have the luxury to take "holiday" for a month afterall!
What are your thoughts?? Anyone else find this question rude and annoying??
When in Rome... For better or for worse, it's a standard US conversation starter - and if you don't want to talk about it, it's really easy to fend off. Nothing to get annoyed about.
And who knows, maybe they are like this in France because they DONT work as much as Americans. Not many of us have the luxury to take "holiday" for a month afterall!
Or it's boring in socialist Europe, you ask four people "What do you folks do for a living?"
Most of the time in addition to this being a conversation starter, its usually asked by work obsessed people who have no social skills and have to resort to talking about work just to have something to talk about because its the only thing they know. If I'm at a social event on my day off, the last thing I want to talk about is work! What I do see often times is a person ask the question just so when the question is fired back at him he can boast about his position and what he/she does.
I don't have the same taste in books or music as others...who says one is more interesting than the other.
I sure didn't say one book was more interesting than the other...but having different tastes shouldn't stop a conversation...it should only make it more interesting.
Quote:
Originally Posted by OICU812
Besides, if you are reading the fourth book in a fictional storyline, how absolutely boring it would be to tell someone about the plot and the characters. It is boring, because I have had to sit thru some of those. Then again, I could sit thru hours and hours of some person describing their thrilling day at the museum of fine antique chairs and lamp shades.
My Dad summed it up pretty well, "If you're bored you're boring"....
in other words...it's you....find a way to make something interesting...take an interest in the PERSON and you may find what they have to say gets more interesting.
Why do people feel they can't relate to, or be interested in, someone unless they are identical????
As a conversation starter, no, I don't find that question rude.
If someone who is charging me/my DH services asks, yes, I find it a very rude question. They are sizing up what to charge you based on what they think you can afford. I've had it happen, my husband has experienced it as well.
And, when we have gone out of town, I've also experienced that we'll be charged differently based on how well we are dressed in some convenience stores, it's always the stores that don't have prices listed on the shelves. We'll walk into a convenience store dressed in nice business/formal attire and be charged a certain amount. Then we may go in the next morning in just plain John/Jane, casual clothes, and get charged less for the same item(s).
This highlights my issue with the OP.
She puts forth two wholly different scenarios and treats both with the same scorn and dismay. That is a bit odd.
In a social setting, as the OP stated first, I don't find the question rude or intrusive in the least.
In the second scenario, it is rather odd, especially if the timing occurred as described. If the conversation transpired in that order, yes, it was likely an attempt to ascertain how much to charge for services - which is completely unacceptable.
So, I would agree AND disagree with the OP.
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Nailed it!
