What do you do for a living--How Rude!! (lawyers, million, medical)
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Have you ever been out at a gathering with people you meet for the first time and everyone is getting along well and then someone asks "hey what do you do for a living??"
I find that to be rude. I read that in France you could go to a dinner party every other night with several couples for a year and NO ONE would dare ask what you do for a living. They would ask questions like what book did you read last, Or have you visited the Louve museum or some sort of museum or discuss the arts.
But why do we Americans have the tendency to do this?? I hired someone to do some work for me and that was one of the questions he asked me--I was immediately turned off. My reply was do you base your fee upon occupation??? He was silent. Very evident he didnt like that response. Its as if alot of Americans feel entitled to know what you do for a living as a way to size you up.
So then he says wow I never met someone so secretive about their occupation--Are you a top government official on an assignment. At that point I terminated his contract and taught him a very good lesson in professionalism. You are here to do a job, not attempt to pass judgement or size up your client.
What are your thoughts?? Anyone else find this question rude and annoying??
Someone only asks that of you, as you are probably boring and have prompted the other person to probe for ANYTHING they can do to carry on a conversation and drag you into feeling a part of the social event.
Of course asking, "What do you do for a living?" is not rude or inappropriate, as it can stimulate further conversation.
You are obviously a liberal. This is why I have banned liberals from my house and any get togethers, as they are routinely a pain in the ass and tough to get along with. This is one of the things that makes them liberals- they are a pain in the ass, alienate people, and are social bores.
Someone only asks that of you, as you are probably boring and have prompted the other person to probe for ANYTHING they can do to carry on a conversation and drag you into feeling a part of the social event.
Of course asking, "What do you do for a living?" is not rude or inappropriate, as it can stimulate further conversation.
You are obviously a liberal. This is why I have banned liberals from my house and any get togethers, as they are routinely a pain in the ass and tough to get along with. This is one of the things that makes them liberals- they are a pain in the ass, alienate people, and are social bores.
I am not a liberal, yet I also consider asking someone their profession to be both rude and inappropriate. If you are incapable of prying into other people's personal lives, then I would prefer not to be at one of your "get togethers."
I will admit that I am among the growing demographic of "overeducated and underemployed." It is a source of minor social embarrassment whenever I get asked that by somebody, and I wish people wouldn't do that. There's no good way to duck that question without telling a white lie followed by another, which I do not like to do.
I am not a liberal, yet I also consider asking someone their profession to be both rude and inappropriate. If you are incapable of prying into other people's personal lives, then I would prefer not to be at one of your "get togethers."
So, at a "get together," how are people supposed to become acquainted without "prying into other people's personal lives"?
Sure, I could make small talk about something completely unrelated to the other person, but that is not helping us become acquainted. Weather, sports, blah blah blah.
I could ask about hobbies I suppose, but then if my hobby is piloting my personal aircraft and his hobby is squirrel hunting, that might imply a difference in socio-economic status.
Ask about travel? Better not....this could also reflect on one's economic situation. Books? Might reveal too much about one's ideologies and could lead to a disagreement. Is it acceptable to ask if s/he has children, or is that prying into one's sex life, fertility, and/or use of contraception? How about where is one from? Might that be used to put the person lower on the pecking order if s/he is "from the wrong side of the tracks"?
I'm starting to wonder how I've survived any dinner parties without being tarred and feathered for my rudeness. Maybe it is because regardless of the questions I ask, I convey genuine interest in the other person, a sincere smile that is welcoming and friendly, and the other person does not assume I am prying, judging, or establishing a socio-economic hierarchy.
Or maybe it's because I'm from the midwest, where folks are friendly and don't see malicious intentions in innocuous, getting-to-know-you questions.
It is RARE in my experience to meet a person for the first time, and not be asked where I work.
I never ask people what they do for a living, there are plenty of other subjects to talk about.
If asked, I usually tell people what company I work for, not necessarily my job. I renovate houses and resell them on the side so I find that people are much more interested in that anyway.
Some years ago I remember being at a party and this woman around my age like late 20's early 30's , asking me what I did for a living well at that time I was working in the workmans comp fraud division and she said Oh my , and then nice to meet you and walked away . This was not the first time this had happened and it certainly was not the last time . although I do remember meeting a nice man there and come to find out he was surgeon , early 40's , divorced and we talked a few times on the phone and he and I dated for awhile but we sort of drifted apart because either he or I were traveling somewhere for something . I dont think it is rude to ask someone what they do for a living but I do find it terribly rude to just say nice to meet you and walk off .
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I find it to be a perfectly fine question to ask. There is always the chance that you can ask an appropriate question and get an awkward answer though - Like, if they just lost their job or are unemployed. But that can happen with any question: Are you married? I was, but she just passed away . . . I dread those moments, but they happen.
I dont think it is rude to ask someone what they do for a living but I do find it terribly rude to just say nice to meet you and walk off .
Agreed! Maybe that woman had never met someone in your line of work, and didn't know how to continue the conversation. For me, a good next question is "Do you enjoy working there?" which gives them a chance to talk more about themselves and to direct the conversation further toward or away from the topic of their job.
I find it to be a perfectly fine question to ask. There is always the chance that you can ask an appropriate question and get an awkward answer though - Like, if they just lost their job or are unemployed. But that can happen with any question: Are you married? I was, but she just passed away . . . I dread those moments, but they happen.
Precisely. Any question one could possibly ask MIGHT end up being awkward, but if spirit of the interaction is one of friendliness, I like to think the conversation is salvagable! (unless the other person flat out says to me "THAT QUESTION WAS RUDE!" which would pretty much shut me up.)
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