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Or perhaps they were taught that is was not good manners to make intrusive and personal inquiries about other people's finances. After all, that is why uncouth idiots ask such impertinent questions, is it not? To judge the financial stability of others in comparison with themselves.
I can only conclude that the vast majority of City-Data posters did not receive the benefit of an education in manners or proper decorum and etiquette.
And that is why expecting them to understand the difference in up-bringing being at the bottom of this little conundrum is a fruitless exercise at best.
You'll just get more of the "my job is me so ask me, ask me, please ask me; unless of course you have a higher paying job then I'd just as soon you didn't." "BUT, if you don't want me to ask it must be because you're ashamed of your job."
These nuts that think the first thing they should know about you is what you do for a living are just one more example of the dumbing down of America. They have no idea the old saying "IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS" came from just such pushy behaviour.
And that is why expecting them to understand the difference in up-bringing being at the bottom of this little conundrum is a fruitless exercise at best.
You'll just get more of the "my job is me so ask me, ask me, please ask me; unless of course you have a higher paying job then I'd just as soon you didn't." "BUT, if you don't want me to ask it must be because you're ashamed of your job."
These nuts that think the first thing they should know about you is what you do for a living are just one more example of the dumbing down of America. They have no idea the old saying "IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS" came from just such pushy behaviour.
I don't know what kind of people you're having conversations with but every person I come across does not focus entirely on discussing their job nor are they focused entirely on what kind of money other people make. Here's how the conversation goes: "Hi, I'm so & so, what's your name? Blah blah blah, weather, blah blah blah, how was your weekend, blah blah blah, so where do you work? Blah blah blah blah, I work at such & such, blah blah blah, did you catch the game, blah blah blah". Notice how there are different topics that come up?
I don't know what kind of people you're having conversations with but every person I come across does not focus entirely on discussing their job nor are they focused entirely on what kind of money other people make. Here's how the conversation goes: "Hi, I'm so & so, what's your name? Blah blah blah, weather, blah blah blah, how was your weekend, blah blah blah, so where do you work? Blah blah blah blah, I work at such & such, blah blah blah, did you catch the game, blah blah blah". Notice how there are different topics that come up?
Exactly so. It wouldn't really be missed if you left out the one question then, would it?
You've got this exactly reversed. It's due to social awkwardness that personal questions even enter the discussion. Engaging people in a conversation upon a first meeting WITHOUT resorting to the easy-peasy personal queries takes a higher developed social skillset NOT an underdeveloped one.
Exactly so. It wouldn't really be missed if you left out the one question then, would it?
You've got this exactly reversed. It's due to social awkwardness that personal questions even enter the discussion. Engaging people in a conversation upon a first meeting WITHOUT resorting to the easy-peasy personal queries takes a higher developed social skillset NOT an underdeveloped one.
Right. It wouldn't be missed if it wasn't asked. It's also not offensive when it is asked. Ask it, don't ask it, who cares? It's simply a part of making conversation. I guess I'm not as tightly wound up as others.
Right. It wouldn't be missed if it wasn't asked. It's also not offensive when it is asked. Ask it, don't ask it, who cares? It's simply a part of making conversation. I guess I'm not as tightly wound up as others.
But you're still missing the point: It's not about you being asked..... It's about you NOT recognizing that asking personal questions during an initial encounter is being rude.
It's also got nothing whatsoever to do with being "tightly wound up", as you put it, but rather that upbringing as mentioned so many times earlier in this thread. You will never know how many you've given a bad first impression by asking those types of questions because their upbringing prevented them from telling you. They were being polite.
But you're still missing the point: It's not about you being asked..... It's about you NOT recognizing that asking personal questions during an initial encounter is being rude.
It's also got nothing whatsoever to do with being "tightly wound up", as you put it, but rather that upbringing as mentioned so many times earlier in this thread. You will never know how many you've given a bad first impression by asking those types of questions because their upbringing prevented them from telling you. They were being polite.
I'm surprised that this thread is still going on. What bugs me the most about the "aginners" like you, BruSan, is that you imply those of us who disagree with you are poorly brought-up. As if you're so much better. Frankly, your question "I see you're driving a (insert name of car here); how do you like it?" is also personal. You wouldn't ask that question of someone driving some old beater, would you? You'd only ask it of someone driving some sort of late-model car, which shows that 1) you're nosy enough to watch what kind of cars people get out of at a social gathering, and 2) these people have at least enough money to buy/lease such a car.
I'm surprised that this thread is still going on. What bugs me the most about the "aginners" like you, BruSan, is that you imply those of us who disagree with you are poorly brought-up. As if you're so much better. Frankly, your question "I see you're driving a (insert name of car here); how do you like it?" is also personal. You wouldn't ask that question of someone driving some old beater, would you? You'd only ask it of someone driving some sort of late-model car, which shows that 1) you're nosy enough to watch what kind of cars people get out of at a social gathering, and 2) these people have at least enough money to buy/lease such a car.
And the thing that bugs me about the proponents like you Katania are you're perfectly willing to castigate anyone with a dissenting opinion as being "up-tight", "awkward", "ashamed of our jobs", as well as completely MISSING the point that "I see you're driving ....." as a STATEMENT and NOT a question as in.......you are not fishing for info as opposed to "what kind of car do you drive?"
Observing the person drive up in the car and commenting on it POSITIVELY ........ as I have explained before, is not being nosy in much the same manner you'd comment POSITIVELY on a woman's purse you notice hanging off her arm.
I've been to many luncheons where the parking lot was beside the open patio meeting. Now give this crap a rest would you.
You know what we're talking about here and to continue being obtuse about it is just one more indication of your less than polished social interactive skills.
Now how long do you whanna continue this pointless banter?
I do not care one wit if you choose to be less than socially polite, it reflects badly on you alone. I do care when you attempt to re-write the rules of conventional wisdom as it pertains to first meeting polite conversation and you are completely missing the difference, aren't you?
I see nothing wrong with this topic at all. It is a way to get things moving, you learn a bit about the person, when you find what their occupation is. May have things in common.
What someone does for a living, no way has an effect on me whether i want to continue dialouge with this person. I do not judge people by where they live, how much they make or where they live. I judge people by what i see and i usually have a very good intution with people.
I have been asked that, i have asked this question, and found out, that this person may be doing a job i did a long long time ago, and we start talking. Nothing wrong with that in my opinion. Another person may also have started their own business, and then we will start talking,
Some people jump the gun about this topic, your job in part tells a little about the person you are. I love talking to people who have their own business. your job is a conversation starter, and in no way in my opinion is rude.
Now if someone ask you how much you make in a year, that is no one's business but your own.
I respect each individual who works for a living, don't care what they do, or how much they make, if they are out there working for a living, i respect you.
Nor do i care how much money some other person makes, more then me, good for them, they are most likely deserving of it. I'm shopping or out and about, and i actually here others ask that very question, nothing to be ashame of nothing to get pissed off about. To me just a way to start conversation.
Nor do i give a damn about where somone lives, in a mansion, they deserve it good for them. In a small quaint cute cabin, good for them. What i hate more then that question is judgemental people.
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