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Old 11-09-2012, 04:29 PM
 
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Do you think it is ever harsh or uncaring, for society not to offer younger couples who are say ~20-24, a viable, self-sufficient financial path to marriage in today's society? In 2012 and for at least several decades now, unless they are fortunate enough to have been born into a well-to-do family perhaps for example, there is pretty much no way that young people in this age range can have any sort of living wage that is large enough to support a marriage and a family, let alone a house and car. I can't help but think that there is some significant emotional suffering, scarring, and longing that young people must inevitably endure, by having to put off marriage until their late 20's, early 30's, or even later. Modern society seems to have unilaterally decided that things like college, careers, and financial status are all much more important (and indeed also mutually-exclusive) to the concept of early-20-something marriages.

I do understand that some people will probably cite statistics that say that people who marry younger are more likely to divorce, but please also keep in mind, and to the best of my understanding, the trend of younger people divorcing sooner may also be a relatively recent modern trend, as well (compared to the more distant past, that is). Plus, modern society often strongly and actively discourages younger people from marrying while they are younger, anyway, so I would make the point that there is an inherent underlying bias against younger marriages to begin. The idea of younger marriage is often made out to be thought of in a pejorative manner, such as being "uncool", "not fun", "not hip", etc., etc. It is sometimes seen as unfairly robbing young people of having an opportunity to have fun or a good time, while they are still young (which I don't personally believe either; I would have jumped at the chance to marry the right girl when I was say 20-24, if I had actually met her).

I also certainly believe that many parents and older adults are well-meaning and care about their children and/or young people, when they encourage them to pursue college, a career, and "finding themselves", when they are younger vs. entering into a marriage while they are younger, but I would still ask them to re-consider the possibility that by doing so, it may have a profound and immeasureable emotional cost, as a side effect? For example, if things were different in society and younger marriage was not thought of as a bad thing to be avoided, perhaps we could also be extension reduce the number unplanned youth pregnancies, STDs, as well as certain psychological trauma such as depression, loneliness and extreme longing for real love, etc., that could potentially result from a young person who might actually want to marry younger if s/he could? But for whom which society also makes that almost 100% financially and practically unrealistic, not to mention (again) the fact that society almost always sees younger marriage as "uncool" and "un-fun" anyway?

Last edited by Phoenix2017; 11-09-2012 at 04:38 PM.. Reason: Fixed typos / Edits
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Old 11-09-2012, 05:10 PM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
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No. I don't think it's uncaring and harsh. I think it's real life. And in real life - things don't get handed to you. And in real life - people who are not old enough to support themselves shouldn't be making huge life decisions that they aren't ready for. I don't see that not getting married young or having children when you are in your early 20's as being a problem at all. I think it's actually smart to wait until you are older, more mature, and have a better handle on your life and who you are. This has nothing to do with being uncool or unhip and everything to do with being an actual adult. And unplanned pregnancies have nothing to do with people going to college and waiting to get married. It has to do with education and understanding that actions have consequences.
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Old 11-09-2012, 05:16 PM
 
Location: Viña del Mar, Chile
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No, I think anyone who expects a handout is a piece of trash.
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Old 11-09-2012, 05:20 PM
 
Location: Southern California
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Knight2009 View Post
Do you think it is ever harsh or uncaring, for society not to offer younger couples who are say ~20-24, a viable, self-sufficient financial path to marriage in today's society?

...
No.

[i'm not reading the rest of your post]
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Old 11-09-2012, 05:22 PM
 
Location: Texas
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No. It's uncaring and absolutely ridiculous to give people fish instead of teaching them to fish.
Besides, it's pretty dumb to get married that young anyway.
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Old 11-09-2012, 05:29 PM
 
12,535 posts, read 14,442,219 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Knight2009 View Post
Do you think it is ever harsh or uncaring, for society not to offer younger couples who are say ~20-24, a viable, self-sufficient financial path to marriage in today's society? In 2012 and for at least several decades now, unless they are fortunate enough to have been born into a well-to-do family perhaps for example, there is pretty much no way that young people in this age range can have any sort of living wage that is large enough to support a marriage and a family, let alone a house and car. I can't help but think that there is some significant emotional suffering, scarring, and longing that young people must inevitably endure, by having to put off marriage until their late 20's, early 30's, or even later. Modern society seems to have unilaterally decided that things like college, careers, and financial status are all much more important (and indeed also mutually-exclusive) to the concept of early-20-something marriages.
I think that's a good thing, actually, because I think that, in general, it's better to wait until one is older, anyway. People do so much growing and changing in their 20s. Also, getting married young can leave someone with a lot of "what-ifs." Your early 20s are your time to do what you want, with whom you want, before you settle down and start a family, because then you have other people to consider with the things you do.

And not for nothing, but poverty has never stopped people from getting married, if they really want to. I just don't think very many young people are suffering the longing or scarring you seem to think they are.
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Old 11-09-2012, 05:43 PM
 
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I have thought the opposite: that in order for young adults to survive (i.e. eat, pay rent or mortgage, fill car with gas) it seems 1 income is not enough often times! (Especially since most in the 20-24 age range earn lower / entry level wages). I'd think it would push many of them into relationships and marriages for the added income! I honestly don't know how young people make it today without a spouse who also brings in a paycheck. Everything is outrageously expensive. I guess they just stay living with mom & dad or room-mates if they're not getting married.
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Old 11-09-2012, 05:46 PM
 
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Poor people all over the world get married everyday.
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Old 11-09-2012, 05:57 PM
 
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You want a child bride. We get it.
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Old 11-09-2012, 06:41 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by srjth View Post
Poor people all over the world get married everyday.

At much lower rates than the non-poor.
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