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Old 01-12-2013, 03:56 PM
 
Location: Fiorina "Fury" 161
3,496 posts, read 3,703,556 times
Reputation: 6541

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Quote:
Originally Posted by goldengrain View Post
No. I tried to edit this but it was too late. People should pay child support in a ratio of the incomes that they make. The biological father should pay. There have been court cases in which a man finds that a kid was not his after supporting the kid. Courts often will make him continue his responsibility because he accepted the child as his.

It's a sorry mess.

I don't know what the welfare situation is today. In New Jersey you are allowed one child on welfare. Any others you have to pay for yourself, I believe. I have read in many posts that the law no longer encourages young women to have many children, paying them more and more for each one.

If you were in a marriage and your wife had a kid by another man and you found out about it and the other man could not afford child support, you would be it, rather than the tax payer footing the bill.

I think that's how it works.
Just reading your post, it is obvious to men. Why would a man want to give up his rights and cede them to a court? For what? Marriage is supposed to be about financial strength and security. Not all men want Dig Daddy government telling them what they can and cannot do, dictating what the rules of the game are to them. Men are figuring it out. They've seen what happened to the generation of men who came before them.
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Old 01-12-2013, 03:58 PM
 
Location: Earth Wanderer, longing for the stars.
12,406 posts, read 18,908,330 times
Reputation: 8910
Quote:
Originally Posted by West of Encino View Post
You people don't know the definition of a real man.

And I have no problem with females being independent. But claiming to be independent yet leeching off men with the help of Big Daddy Government, that's what I have a problem with.
Have you heard of a pre nup? It's not as though you have no protections, yourself.
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Old 01-12-2013, 04:03 PM
 
Location: in my imagination
13,562 posts, read 21,319,130 times
Reputation: 10052
More women than men might want to marry but most women don't want to "marry down" in financial terms.

I read a article a while ago that talked about how more and more women who are now making good pay scales and are financially independent want to get married but only to someone in their pay scale class of preferably higher. A lot of these women would rather stay single until they can find that one. Needless to say with more women making better pay and more college degrees compared to more men having a pay scale that is stagnant or even less than what they use to make it leaves a status quo.
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Old 01-12-2013, 04:08 PM
 
Location: around racist white people
1,610 posts, read 1,777,337 times
Reputation: 700
Good article and good discussion
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Old 01-12-2013, 04:08 PM
 
1,736 posts, read 1,761,652 times
Reputation: 522
I'm just not ready for it yet. I'm not saying I won't get married, but it isn't happening anytime soon. I'm in my 20's and I just want to have as much fun as I can before committing to something as big as marriage. I do however, want to think ahead and do not want to feel pressured when I'm in the relationship.
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Old 01-12-2013, 04:08 PM
 
Location: Earth Wanderer, longing for the stars.
12,406 posts, read 18,908,330 times
Reputation: 8910
Quote:
Originally Posted by mpyne View Post
This is very easy to answer. Women want the wedding but not really prepared for what a marriage really is (work). They just want to be the center of attention for a day (wedding)
So, only a dumb man would marry that sort of woman, no?
Give the light of your life a test, tell her that you insist on eloping.
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Old 01-12-2013, 04:11 PM
 
7,492 posts, read 11,780,694 times
Reputation: 7394
Yes, considering all the obstacles, there really is no reason men should want to marry anymore. But there are a lot of them that still do.
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Old 01-12-2013, 04:12 PM
 
Location: Armsanta Sorad
5,648 posts, read 8,026,717 times
Reputation: 2462
Quote:
Originally Posted by goldengrain View Post
Have you heard of a pre nup? It's not as though you have no protections, yourself.
Nowadays, prenups can be thrown out by big daddy judges.
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Old 01-12-2013, 04:16 PM
 
Location: Armsanta Sorad
5,648 posts, read 8,026,717 times
Reputation: 2462
Quote:
Originally Posted by budgetlord View Post
Just reading your post, it is obvious to men. Why would a man want to give up his rights and cede them to a court? For what? Marriage is supposed to be about financial strength and security. Not all men want Dig Daddy government telling them what they can and cannot do, dictating what the rules of the game are to them. Men are figuring it out. They've seen what happened to the generation of men who came before them.
Seems like the government is trying to be everybody's daddy nowadays. Men understandly rebel, but women look up to the government. Even women will replace their own fathers for the government to provide for them.
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Old 01-12-2013, 04:16 PM
 
Location: Earth Wanderer, longing for the stars.
12,406 posts, read 18,908,330 times
Reputation: 8910
Quote:
Originally Posted by WesternPilgrim View Post
Undoubtedly that's a big part of the problem today.

But there's another dimension to this that is not snobbery, but is simply a normal part of being human. Women naturally want men who are capable of leading them (despite their feminist training). They want to marry men whom they consider, in some sense, to be their betters as long as their equality as persons is respected. That doesn't mean that educational achievement has the last word in every case, but it makes a difference in the aggregate.

Also, the disparity between healthy femininity that naturally wants to "look up" to a man, and the radical feminist upbringing most young women have received, causes internal conflict in women and must damage lots of relationships.
To me your sort of 'looking up' is more of a sexual attraction idea. I think this is not the basis for a long and lasting relationship. The 'looking up' that matters here is kindness and wisdom and understanding and reasonableness and patience - things either sex finds attractive in a long termed partner. 'Betters' is not a term that merely implies strength or earning power.
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