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Sweet N Sour sounds like another poster I think her username was Nyanna ....something like that. She would constantly post woe is me for being a dark skinned black woman threads/posts. I hope this is not her under a new name. In any case if it's you or a new person you need help.
Based on writing style and post content I think there may be several reincarnations of that same individual around C-D.
There are actually more Black women who feel this way about themselves and wonder the same things in private than you think. I wouldn't attribute every single post that has to do with a Black woman - especially and in particular an African American - being insecure about her looks and ability to attract a desirable man more than a woman who is Asian or European in appearance to one person. Many women feel this is true for different reasons. Remember that most Black women (including myself) are single...
I've been thinking lately that it would be great to be an Asian American woman.
Over 98 percent of Asian American women have partners, I rarely see any Asian women alone. Also, Asian woman tend to get the best type of educated and professional men.
I'm black and I have a great education, also I'm thin and cute, but I'm alone, and I know it's due to my race. Professional high earning men tend to prefer Asian and white women. Please spare me the few examples, such as Obama, and others because this is simply not the norm.
I just wonder what a black young woman can do to garner the same respect as Asian women?
I am very shy and soft spoken, with a very good career. Also, I'm a size 2.
What am I doing wrong, how can I get quality guys to see past the fact that I'm black?
Julie, I think the shyness factor may be your biggest problem, as another poster pointed out. I'm white, and am married to an Asian, but I have been attracted to, and have gone out with black women in the past, and I can't really say there is any glaring difference between the two. Just like women admire confidence in a guy, I personally feel men are attracted to confident women, who are comfortable in their own skin.
I had never dated an Asian before my wife, and our fist date was a colossal disaster. We saw a terrible movie (bulletproof monk, yeah, I know) and then had dinner at a place where the waiter flirted with her endlessly and had a far better rapport with her than I had. I actually went to the bathroom and splashed water on my face and told myself in the mirror I have to find a way to end this date ASAP. I came back to the table and she had paid for the bill already. I figured she wanted the damn thing to end as much as I wanted it to. A week later I was hanging out at a bar with my buddies, and out of the blue she calls to tell me she on her way to meet up with me. She showed up, (wearing this gorgeous see-thru burgundy shirt and black bra, i'll never forget it and hope it is the vision I take with me when I die: it was the very essence of her confidence!)very confidently met my friends ( who for various reasons can be intimidating to the uninitiated), and her and I wound up going to a "finer" dining establishment. One of my buddies texted me on the ride over "don't f*** this up, she's hot and she's smart." When we got to the restaurant, there was an ex-girlfriend sitting at the bar. After about an hour or so, I made an excuse to leave the table and go to the bar to say hello to the ex. She told me right there and then that she was watching that Asian girl and that the girl was "seriously into me" and I would be an idiot to f*** this up. Well, I did f*** it up, on numerous occasions, but 10 years later we are still married, got a nice house, a host of f***ed up animals. And all it took was her confidence to show up that one night 10 years ago at a bar which was outside of her comfort zone and meet my friends which were outside of any rational person's comfort zone.
Oddly, once I married her, all my friends wound up married and blamed me. I still hang out with them on Friday nights, but instead of questionable bars, we now meet up at restaurants and debate food.
There are actually more Black women who feel this way about themselves and wonder the same things in private than you think. I wouldn't attribute every single post that has to do with a Black woman - especially and in particular an African American - being insecure about her looks and ability to attract a desirable man more than a woman who is Asian or European in appearance to one person. Many women feel this is true for different reasons. Remember that most Black women (including myself) are single...
Sorry but I am not a part of your Black woman pity party. I personally attract ALL types of guys and the reason is because I have self confidence and a healthy self esteem. I think that I am attractive and therefore other people think that I am attractive.
I am tired of the pity party mentality. If men aren't attracted to you then perhaps its because you don't think of yourself as attractive and desirable. Its a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Sorry but I am not a part of your Black woman pity party. I personally attract ALL types of guys and the reason is because I have self confidence and a healthy self esteem. I think that I am attractive and therefore other people think that I am attractive.
I am tired of the pity party mentality. If men aren't attracted to you then perhaps its because you don't think of yourself as attractive and desirable. Its a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Although I believe that colorism does exist in varying forms, I tend to agree that it should not be used as a primary excuse for why one is unable to find a suitable mate. Yes, it may be a little trying to find your version of the ideal guy, but I don't think it's too difficult, if you are actively searching.
It's strange that some people always lump all black women into the same category, based on stereotypes. Many of those stereotypes do not apply to me, or my black female friends, so I do not give much credence to them.
The real secret to living a happy and fulfilling life and attracting the right mate, is simply having self confidence and a healthy self esteem.
Although I believe that colorism does exist in varying forms, I tend to agree that it should not be used as a primary excuse for why one is unable to find a suitable mate. Yes, it may be a little trying to find your version of the ideal guy, but I don't think it's too difficult, if you are actively searching.
It's strange that some people always lump all black women into the same category, based on stereotypes. Many of those stereotypes do not apply to me, or my black female friends, so I do not give much credence to them.
The real secret to living a happy and fulfilling life and attracting the right mate, is simply having self confidence and a healthy self esteem.
Great post!
One of the reasons that I suggested travelling to the OP (earlier in the thread) is because it has the great potential to change one's own perception of how they are viewed by others as well as how they view themselves. The people who are the most likely to believe and absorb ALL of the negative stereotypes about Black women (colorism, 'hair texturism' et al) tend to be the ones who have never travelled outside of their own state or region of the country (let alone out of the country or overseas).
One of the reasons that I suggested travelling to the OP (earlier in the thread) is because it has the great potential to change one's own perception of how they are viewed by others as well as how they view themselves. The people who are the most likely to believe and absorb ALL of the negative stereotypes about Black women (colorism, 'hair texturism' et al) tend to be the ones who have never travelled outside of their own state or region of the country (let alone out of the country or overseas).
so you are looking down on those who haven't traveled overseas? Not everyone wants to leave their job and family behind to snag a white man. and in some cases, traveling can expose you to even more racism. there are still many parts of the world where black people are treated horribly, worse than in the USA
so you are looking down on those who haven't traveled overseas? Not everyone wants to leave their job and family behind to snag a white man. and in some cases, traveling can expose you to even more racism. there are still many parts of the world where black people are treated horribly, worse than in the USA
Wow, is that seriously how you interpreted my post?
My post was about traveling in order to broaden one's perspective and to gain a different outlook on one's self and the world. I did not make any reference or inference to traveling in order to "hunt for White men".
And I also was not "looking down" on anyone but I will say that it would be a much better personal investment for the Black women who have embraced the "no one wants me" mantra to use their money to travel instead of spending their money on Louis Vuitton and Coach bags to impress people not worth the time, money or effort.
so you are looking down on those who haven't traveled overseas? Not everyone wants to leave their job and family behind to snag a white man. and in some cases, traveling can expose you to even more racism. there are still many parts of the world where black people are treated horribly, worse than in the USA
I would never let the fear of racism stop me from traveling and living my life.
It's strange that you equate traveling to snagging a white man, because outside of the U.S., on a global level, white men are actually the minority... so I don't really see the connection between overseas travel and white men.
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