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No it isn't. What is selfish is to ignore your elders.
Most 70 year olds I know are pretty healthy, but your example is extremly flawed.
1. Why only one kid?
2. Why get the kid when you are 20. That is way too early. Why not 28 and 33? Then they will be 62 and 56 years.
3. If you live to you are 90, then your 70 year old is likely to be very healthy
4. No grandkids?
No it doesn't. It's not all or nothing. Having someone to company you helps you a lot. For instance if you get sick, they can drive you to the doctor.
Having someone when you get older makes life much easier and less lonely. Of course you can choose to stay at a elderly home and do nothing for the last 10-20 years, but that is not much fun.
No one asked/chose to be born, therefore they don't owe you anything. You choose to have a kid, the burden/responsiblity is 100% yours, not the kid's. If your parents decided to use birth control or simply didn't have sex at the exact point in history you were conceived, you would not exist and you wouldn't even know it.
I seriously doubt that most 70 year olds are "pretty healthy".
Have you ever considered that children are individuals with their own thoughts and feelings and goals? Maybe they don't want to spend their retirement looking after a sick, fragile 90something or even 100 year old parent.
Maybe they actually want to enjoy their lives.
I think it's terrible that you are essentially breeding your own servants. Don't be so surprised if your kids grow up to resent you and move to another continent. It seems like you don't even want to have kids because you love children. You sound like you just want kids in order so you don't have to save money for your retirement.
What if your kids decide they want careers as doctors or scientists or engineers? Do you really want to hold them back from their lives?
Obviously you have never heard of hobbies. How about reading books and expanding your knowledge? Painting? Drawing? There is never "nothing to do".
Right. Wow. Can't believe the mentality of Americans with their elders. Do you know the most reason of people to have kids in my country?(I'm Asian) So they have someone to take care of them when they grow old. Because there are no caregiving jobs in my country. There are no rampant senior homes where you 'toss' your old parents.
Do you know what the life expectancy is for your country? 10 years less than the average American without the superior medical care we have in the states. But hey, get up to that pulpit as long as you never have to provide the care giving yourself.
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Maybe that's also the reason why most caregivers are Filipinos here. We have no problem taking care of seniors, either that, or the Americans let us have that job.
Sorry, I don't see most a majority of nurses and doctors in the US as immigrant Filipinos.
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My question to you is: what's so wrong with your mom doing all those with her 95 yr old mom?! May I remind you that once upon a time, her 95 yr old mom also carry your mom to the bathroom every time she have to crap, wipe her butt, bathe her, cook for her three times a day, stay up with her all night while she was sick, take her to never ending doctor appts, basically be her personal slave when she was born until 18 yrs I suppose?!!!
Actually, no, my mother joined a convent at the age of 13 and has been caring for my grandmother for decades. Before that she cared for a sick child for 19 years. At 71 years old she deserves a break and she doesn't need the blessing of another do-nothing whose great contribution to elder care is gum flapping on the internet.
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What's so wrong with taking care of your elderly parent when they took care of you since you were a helpless baby?!!! And now that they were a helpless old bag you don't wanna deal with it? Life is a cycle deal with it. I guess that's where our mentality/culture differs then.
What is wrong is unintelligent, irrational decision making. We have a society where we keep our elderly artificially alive (unlike your country of origin) and this requires significant medical care. That people think they can retire at 62-65 and have someone care for them for the next 30 years is absurd. And thinking you should breed in order to do so is insane imo. Get a job, save your money, and plan for your future.
My question to you is: what's so wrong with your mom doing all those with her 95 yr old mom?! May I remind you that once upon a time, her 95 yr old mom also carry your mom to the bathroom every time she have to crap, wipe her butt, bathe her, cook for her three times a day, stay up with her all night while she was sick, take her to never ending doctor appts, basically be her personal slave when she was born until 18 yrs I suppose?!!!
May I remind you that "once upon a time" most people didn't live to be 70 much less 95? We choose to have kids knowing what's involved, and some people can't even handle that well. Having it thrust upon you suddenly at an advanced age isn't something most people can handle because we are not being trained throughout our lives to be caretakers, that would be an impossibility.
I'll be company and help my aging parents as I can. When it comes to needing a nurse or constant care they will have it but it won't be me. I know it, they know it, and everyone accepts it. Same for me with my children.
Being a bachelor 32 year old white male who has been around the block a bit, I have a lot of reasons.
1. I am selfious with my time and money. Other then immediate family and the right woman, I don't like the idea of basically going into debt and having no fun money as a result of having to raise a kid.
2. I saw the amount of sacrifice, time, effort and energy my parents gave to give me and my sister a good upbringing and I honestly don't feel the desire or want to do the same for a child. I would rather die alone and rich them be another poor example of a a father for an unwanted child when there are so many in this world already. If I must sacrifice being in a relationship vs chancing being a bad father, I will die alone in my grave the add to the already terrible and hurtful statistic of terrible fathers and unwanted and unloved kids.
3. Every time I go I public and hear a kid scream or cry, I grit my teeth and seeth at the very idea of having one of those screaming kids as my own. No farming thank you batman.
5. I suffer from OCD, anxiety, depression and a family line of alcoholism and anger issues. I've had a very hard time growing up with these problems, and in don't want them passed onto another generation. I want my family's curse and rotten genes to die with me in the ground so it can't ruin anymore lives.
6. I get stressed out enough from my singe cat in my apartment when he misbehaves, kids would drive me to suicide. I pass my love, legacy and kindness to my furry little son. I can't even stand dogs because they cause they require to much attention like kids.
My reasons are almost identical to yours. Even the part about dogs. I prefer cats since they are so independent. I love my freedom and the thought of losing it to child raising sounds like a nightmare.
That's a good way to put it. I am childfree and have never wanted children. I do not want the responsibility and burden of raising a child. I would rather have dogs.
My reasons are almost identical to yours. Even the part about dogs. I prefer cats since they are so independent. I love my freedom and the thought of losing it to child raising sounds like a nightmare.
I don't like kids as a general rule but I had two and loved it. I realized I was in a place in my life where it was not only possible but desireable for me to do so. Having and rasing kids is just one piece of me. I had years of adulthood before and after so the whole experience was just a chapter in my life I'm glad I didn't miss. Now I like having my cat as well as two cool people who wouldn't otherwise be in my life. But I wouldn't want to raise kids again now.
People just need to weigh the pros/cons and make their choices.
Procreation for the majority of the populous is an occurrence that is neither planned for financially or otherwise nor is it something that those that are inclined to do so think out logically.
Concerning personal finances for the majority of the population that have children they are a drain, a liability and a disappointment.
The world as a whole is grossly overpopulated, take my word for it I've been to most countries that suffer from such and it's a picture that cannot be painted in words. Only seeing it for ones self can it fully impact your life as it has mine.
Disease, pestilence and starvation persists and increases despite billions and billions of U.S. dollars being spent to eradicate such atrocities.
The suffering of families living literally on top of each other begging, pleading and crying for just one more scrap of rancid meat or a piece of bread is something I would force you to watch.
I read your emotional based faulty arguments for having children which first makes me laugh then become angry at the naivety of those that worship the womb while throwing out the brain.
After you finish reading this you'll still feel your correct for dragging another soul into this cesspool and I'll continue to regret ever seeing the horrible scenes of reality that I've seen first hand.
Wow, you are depressing.
Thank you for not having children, and passing your sad, lonely views down to offspring. The good thing about views like yours is that they will die along with you.
I do not possess an ounce of maternal feeling, I find children noisy, dirty, exhausting, boring, self centered, and do not wish to have this kind of burden in my life. I do not have the patience, the inclination nor the skills to deal with the little beasts.
Also I think too many people have kids who should not because society brainwashes too many people especially women into "the white picket fence syndrome" regardless of their true feelings. It is as though having kids is the be and end of it all in life when for many people it turns out to be a horrendous mistake which they deeply regret.
I think being a parent is possibly the most important job in our society and thus should be entered into only with the most mature of attitude and with real aforethought and genuine desire. It is a job for life, one which is thankless and exhausting, mentally and physically and yet most people still seem to ignore the issue and jump feet first into a situation they are usually ill prepared for. We then end up with ill behaved, badly brought up, badly educated, horrible little monsters who in turn turn into selfsh, monstrous adults with the emotional intelligence of pond slime.
Parenting requires so many skills, so many tools in our emotional and intellectual toolbox as humans and yet any moron can do it and often does....
Kids to me should ALWAYS be wanted, loved and cherished, they should be respected and treated with dignity , kindness but also discipline and boundaries and line firmly drawn in the sand. A child is to be guided but not brainwashed, nurtured, encouraged and his/her potential developed as much as possible. This takes a lot of love, selflessness and devotion, intelligence, patience, and dedication. I am not the person to give this to a child.
Also I love my Husband and to me having a child would upset the apple cart and come between us. I love the relationship we have and do not want to change anything about it.
I have always also found it shocking that so many people who claim to love kids only want the products of their own loins to somehow perpetuate the family genetic line. To me a child is a child. ALL are equally worthy of love and respect and adoption would seem a far less wasteful and far more compassionate choice IMO for people who claim to really want children. To bring love to an unwanted child and give them stability and a home has got to be more important that whose womb they sprang out of. I see this sort of reasoning as trying to achieve some kind of immortality which is just as selfish and petty as the things I am accused of for not wanting to have children.
I admire people who adopt and even more foster parents more than anything. These are the unspoken heroes of our societies IMO.
And I have an absolute horror of being told " who will look after you when you are old". A child is not to be born to look after me in old age. It is not a servant. The purpose of a child's life is not to be end up as my carer. That has to be the most pathetic, horrible and saddest way to look at child rearing that I can think of. And so, so selfish. Almost monstrous.
I would make a terrible parent but unlike many people I am fully awre of that fact and decided this when I was a teenager. And I think that is better than having kids you will neglect, scream at, abuse, brainwash or even just ignore, and resent like so many parents I see.
Good job! One of the best posts I've ever read on CD, and I've read many!
When I walk in the house and hear the word "DADDY!: then feel little arms wrapped around my knees, it really does not matter one iota how much money is in the bank, if my boss yelled at me, if the car broke down on the way home or anything else in the world.
Looking down into the ocean of little eyes and seeing the depth of possiblity is beyond discription.
I respect the "childfree'ers out there. I am happy beyond happy that I am not one of you.
Peace.
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That's a good way to put it. I am childfree and have never wanted children. I do not want the responsibility and burden of raising a child. I would rather have dogs. 
as well as two cool people who wouldn't otherwise be in my life. But I wouldn't want to raise kids again now. 
