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Old 03-25-2013, 04:49 PM
 
Location: Michigan
12,710 posts, read 12,987,253 times
Reputation: 4170

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Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4 View Post
Op thinks rape = same as being beat up.
Some instances of non-sexual battery are as bad as, or worse than, some rapes. Clearly.
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Old 03-25-2013, 04:59 PM
 
Location: USA
28,332 posts, read 19,571,036 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by djacques View Post
Some instances of non-sexual battery are as bad as, or worse than, some rapes. Clearly.
Disfigurement comes to mind
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Old 03-25-2013, 05:06 PM
 
18,152 posts, read 10,600,378 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by djacques View Post
Some instances of non-sexual battery are as bad as, or worse than, some rapes. Clearly.
You cannot speak for another person. This whole thing is a really stupid argument. There are a lot of people here essentially defending rape and it's shameful. Do you people want to decriminalize it, what is the agenda?

Maybe invite Whoopi Goldberg here and discuss rape vs. rape-rape.
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Old 03-25-2013, 05:33 PM
 
Location: Michigan
12,710 posts, read 12,987,253 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tamajane View Post
You cannot speak for another person. This whole thing is a really stupid argument. There are a lot of people here essentially defending rape and it's shameful. Do you people want to decriminalize it, what is the agenda?
You seem to be supposing that only crime victims are allowed to discuss or debate the seriousness of a particular mode of crime. Where did this rule originate, and who said so?

If that rule were adopted, no legislators would be able to enact legislation providing penalties for murder, since none of the ones so deliberating would be murder victims.

Last edited by djacques; 03-25-2013 at 05:45 PM..
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Old 03-25-2013, 05:54 PM
 
Location: Chambersburg PA
1,738 posts, read 1,989,880 times
Reputation: 1483
Quote:
Originally Posted by belmont22 View Post
There seem to be two general ideas about sexual offenses:

1) Ooooooh They was asking for it! (Victim blaming/trivializing)
2) OMG the victim will never ever get over it! Their life is ruined forever! Execute the perpetrator, they will never change! (Blowing the situation out of proportion)

There's also people out there who think it's "creepy" for an 18 year old to go out with a 17 year old, simply because one is technically an adult in some jurisdictions.

Why can't people be rational and have an reasonable attitude towards sexual offenses? How come there's either this totally dismissive attitude, or this extreme reactionary stance?

I've been molested before, not as a kid but as a teen/adult, and it was scary and unpleasant but I think people have a rather strange attitude about it. I don't think it's qualitively worse than any other kind of assault, though I do think it's a big deal and shouldn't be laughed off.
I am quoting this just to remind everybody that original question was not specifically about "rape". There are over 200 offenses in this country that could get a person registered.

Last edited by faeryedark; 03-25-2013 at 06:43 PM..
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Old 03-25-2013, 05:56 PM
 
3,124 posts, read 4,737,895 times
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It is considered more serious because it's not just an act of assault. It is a crime that dehumanizes the victim and is used for control, intimidation, and humiliation. It is an effective form of torture.
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Old 03-25-2013, 06:11 PM
 
Location: USA
28,332 posts, read 19,571,036 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lior Arel View Post
It is considered more serious because it's not just an act of assault. It is a crime that dehumanizes the victim and is used for control, intimidation, and humiliation. It is an effective form of torture.
Torture, humiliation, intimidation and control are not just the domain of rape, even though it can be said that rape can encompus all those things most of the time. Murder is almost always ranked as worse and it can be none of those thing. I think as far as Murder, Rape and Assault goes they could change positions based on severity of the crime.
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Old 03-26-2013, 09:03 AM
 
Location: LEAVING CD
22,974 posts, read 25,773,046 times
Reputation: 15629
Quote:
Originally Posted by tamajane View Post
JimJ who I take it is a guy, the reason women worry about rape more than something else horrible like murder or dismemberment or being set on fire, is because rape is more likely to happen. And it is that traumatic. People like you minimize it so it makes it easier for a rapist to feel it's not so bad.

You compared rape to bad parenting, so you lack empathy for violent crime victims.
Not at all. My wife is such a victim so I'm very,very aware of the implications and potential fallout of rape, especially at the end of a gun. She's just now (30 years later) deciding she wants to get past it which is a start down the road to doing so. It's taken her that long to start to overcome the idea that was instilled in her by her parents that she's weak,useless and nothing without a "man" to tell her what to do or make decisions on her own. Since we've been married I've done my best to not feed into that actually leaving as many decisions in her court as possible to show her she CAN survive. The hardest thing and the thing that ticks me off the most is trying to overcome the idea that's been drummed into her head that she CAN'T get past it.

When having a gun pointed at you with the clear implication that you very well could DIE as in cease breathing, become room temperature etc someone should be more concerned about being raped (which by the way you're still breathing afterwards)? If so why exactly is that the case? It certainly can't be physical pain as being shot and paralyzed,severely wounded or worse has got to be more physically painful.

You cannot get over death unless you know something the rest of the planet does not but I'd hazard a guess in the majority of rape cases they can get past it. Notice I didn't say "over it" since with some people no matter what the trauma they never get "over it".
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Old 03-26-2013, 09:05 AM
 
Location: LEAVING CD
22,974 posts, read 25,773,046 times
Reputation: 15629
Quote:
Originally Posted by faeryedark View Post
I am quoting this just to remind everybody that original question was not specifically about "rape". There are over 200 offenses in this country that could get a person registered.
Thank you!
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Old 03-26-2013, 10:13 AM
 
18,152 posts, read 10,600,378 times
Reputation: 23169
Quote:
Originally Posted by jimj View Post
Not at all. My wife is such a victim so I'm very,very aware of the implications and potential fallout of rape, especially at the end of a gun. She's just now (30 years later) deciding she wants to get past it which is a start down the road to doing so. It's taken her that long to start to overcome the idea that was instilled in her by her parents that she's weak,useless and nothing without a "man" to tell her what to do or make decisions on her own. Since we've been married I've done my best to not feed into that actually leaving as many decisions in her court as possible to show her she CAN survive. The hardest thing and the thing that ticks me off the most is trying to overcome the idea that's been drummed into her head that she CAN'T get past it.

When having a gun pointed at you with the clear implication that you very well could DIE as in cease breathing, become room temperature etc someone should be more concerned about being raped (which by the way you're still breathing afterwards)? If so why exactly is that the case? It certainly can't be physical pain as being shot and paralyzed,severely wounded or worse has got to be more physically painful.

You cannot get over death unless you know something the rest of the planet does not but I'd hazard a guess in the majority of rape cases they can get past it. Notice I didn't say "over it" since with some people no matter what the trauma they never get "over it".
You can't tell people how to feel and if they fear rape regardless of how irrational you think it is, they have that right. If you don't get it, you don't get it regarding the violation and humiliation factor. If your wife is taking thirty years, then you should understand. It's not because people are brainwashing victims that they can't get past it, it really can cause that much damage. Some people would actually rather take their chances and will fight to the death. Women in countries where they have no rights have been known to jump out of windows rather than submit to some guy raping them. Sorry if that's too irrational but sometimes death is better than torture.

People who are victims or "survivors" can live normal lives, it's up to the victim how they handle it. Some forgive, some want the perp to suffer, some go after the perp years later...whatever works for the victim. What they don't need is criticism for how they deal with it.
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