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Old 03-22-2013, 07:38 PM
 
2,096 posts, read 4,542,986 times
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There seem to be two general ideas about sexual offenses:

1) Ooooooh They was asking for it! (Victim blaming/trivializing)
2) OMG the victim will never ever get over it! Their life is ruined forever! Execute the perpetrator, they will never change! (Blowing the situation out of proportion)

There's also people out there who think it's "creepy" for an 18 year old to go out with a 17 year old, simply because one is technically an adult in some jurisdictions.

Why can't people be rational and have an reasonable attitude towards sexual offenses? How come there's either this totally dismissive attitude, or this extreme reactionary stance?

I've been molested before, not as a kid but as a teen/adult, and it was scary and unpleasant but I think people have a rather strange attitude about it. I don't think it's qualitively worse than any other kind of assault, though I do think it's a big deal and shouldn't be laughed off.
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Old 03-22-2013, 09:22 PM
 
Location: Houston
26,979 posts, read 15,060,165 times
Reputation: 11259
When I was 17 I was molested by a 35 year old woman. It was great!
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Old 03-22-2013, 09:35 PM
 
7,359 posts, read 5,274,902 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by belmont22 View Post
There seem to be two general ideas about sexual offenses:

1) Ooooooh They was asking for it! (Victim blaming/trivializing)
I don't see people doing this. I just see the people from your #2 on the list claiming that people are doing it.
Quote:
2) OMG the victim will never ever get over it! Their life is ruined forever! Execute the perpetrator, they will never change! (Blowing the situation out of proportion)
By saying this, you now fall into category #1, trivializing
Quote:
There's also people out there who think it's "creepy" for an 18 year old to go out with a 17 year old, simply because one is technically an adult in some jurisdictions.

Why can't people be rational and have an reasonable attitude towards sexual offenses? How come there's either this totally dismissive attitude, or this extreme reactionary stance?
Because it has been politicized. There's an entire sexual violence industry out there that gets media attention, gets influence with politicians, and gets money for research, awareness, advocacy, prevention, etc. Other types of crimes are more common but since sexual violence involves gender it has been sensationalized for gain. I really don't think there's any question of that. I've read a couple of articles about how the feminist movement had started to falter as far as people seeing it as becoming irrelevant in the modern world and they hit on domestic violence and then saw a massive upsurge in attention and funding. I believe sexual violence is in the same category. Same as how breast cancer is pushed so hard even though heart disease kills more women than breast cancer does. Heart disease doesn't have "women's issue" stamped on it.
Quote:
I've been molested before, not as a kid but as a teen/adult, and it was scary and unpleasant but I think people have a rather strange attitude about it. I don't think it's qualitively worse than any other kind of assault, though I do think it's a big deal and shouldn't be laughed off.
The smart thing would be to focus on effective treatment so that people get over being molested more often and more completely. "Take Back the Night" doesn't really do much of anything, but it makes headlines. Developing a new long term therapy for recovery doesn't.
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Old 03-22-2013, 09:39 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles County, CA
29,097 posts, read 25,041,159 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by whogo View Post
When I was 17 I was molested by a 35 year old woman. It was great!
LOL!

Every teenage males fantasy.
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Old 03-22-2013, 09:39 PM
 
48,504 posts, read 93,488,870 times
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No different than any crime. Many thig well i did this felony and paid the penalty. What they did was pay the penalty under law but often its the loss of trust that will mean punishment continues .
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Old 03-22-2013, 10:06 PM
 
7,359 posts, read 5,274,902 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Harrier View Post
LOL!

Every teenage males fantasy.
Only if you wanted it. If the teenage guy didn't want it but felt he had to go along with it because the older woman had some sort of power over him, such as being a teacher or a grown relative, then it isn't very pleasant.
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Old 03-22-2013, 10:11 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles County, CA
29,097 posts, read 25,041,159 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kidkaos2 View Post
Only if you wanted it. If the teenage guy didn't want it but felt he had to go along with it because the older woman had some sort of power over him, such as being a teacher or a grown relative, then it isn't very pleasant.
A woman having some sort of power over you is part of the attractiveness of the fantasy.

I do agree that a person who is not willing is a victim of someone who attacks them in such a manner.
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Old 03-22-2013, 10:18 PM
 
2,096 posts, read 4,542,986 times
Reputation: 1269
[quote=kidkaos2;28794824]
By saying this, you now fall into category #1, trivializing

[quote]

I'm not trivializing. I just don't think sex crimes are worse than any other kind of crime against someone's person. Well okay they're worse than robbery but I don't think molesting somebody is any worse than beating them up. Society only sees them as worse because we are prudish. I also don't really agree that people who commit sex crimes are impossible to reform either, I think anyone can change for the better. It's cynical to believe an entire category of offenders can never improve their behavior.

You see murder on TV and in the movies so much you don't even think of it, but even loving consensual sex is never shown outside of porn. As a society we are more comfortable with killing people than with anything sexual, so obviously sex crimes are seen as beyond the pale.
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Old 03-22-2013, 10:25 PM
 
Location: Chambersburg PA
1,738 posts, read 1,990,918 times
Reputation: 1483
Quote:
Originally Posted by belmont22 View Post
There seem to be two general ideas about sexual offenses:

1) Ooooooh They was asking for it! (Victim blaming/trivializing)
2) OMG the victim will never ever get over it! Their life is ruined forever! Execute the perpetrator, they will never change! (Blowing the situation out of proportion)

There's also people out there who think it's "creepy" for an 18 year old to go out with a 17 year old, simply because one is technically an adult in some jurisdictions.

Why can't people be rational and have an reasonable attitude towards sexual offenses? How come there's either this totally dismissive attitude, or this extreme reactionary stance?

I've been molested before, not as a kid but as a teen/adult, and it was scary and unpleasant but I think people have a rather strange attitude about it. I don't think it's qualitively worse than any other kind of assault, though I do think it's a big deal and shouldn't be laughed off.
Because the media and others who profit from it, such as politicians, and the self-help gurus don't want the truth to be out.
The truth is, most sex offenses happen between people who know each other, family etc. AND the recidivism rate is far far lower than they want you to know...just check the DOJ
The registry as it stands now, is bloated with people who are on it for trivial things, and even the likes of John Walsh admit it's not what he envisioned. Patty Wetterling (mother of an abducted child) who initially fought for tougher laws, now actively speaks out against much of the registry and the resulting restrictions, because they don't actually keep children safe.
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Old 03-22-2013, 11:25 PM
 
7,359 posts, read 5,274,902 times
Reputation: 3138
[quote=belmont22;28795385][quote=kidkaos2;28794824]
By saying this, you now fall into category #1, trivializing

Quote:

I'm not trivializing. I just don't think sex crimes are worse than any other kind of crime against someone's person. Well okay they're worse than robbery but I don't think molesting somebody is any worse than beating them up. Society only sees them as worse because we are prudish. I also don't really agree that people who commit sex crimes are impossible to reform either, I think anyone can change for the better. It's cynical to believe an entire category of offenders can never improve their behavior.

You see murder on TV and in the movies so much you don't even think of it, but even loving consensual sex is never shown outside of porn. As a society we are more comfortable with killing people than with anything sexual, so obviously sex crimes are seen as beyond the pale.
I wasn't saying you were trivializing it. I agree with you. I was being sarcastic - just pointing out that people who aren't willing to go along with sexual crimes being on the same level as Pol Pot's killing fields are often said to be trivializing things. Not only do the people who to way exaggerated lengths for sexual crimes do that, but they also insult anybody who doesn't do it with them. If you try to take a balanced view of things, they call you a rape apologist.
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