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That is where psychological counseling could help; in helping you better deal mentally since you have no control over outside forces. But you continue to refuse to even consider how it could help.
Who are making all these comments around you? Can you remove yourself from these conversation? Or simply change the subject or say you are not interested?
Sometimes its people I know or just random people near me having a discussion. I was standing in line at the post office, and a black lady behind me was discussing this young lady she knew who was mixed & had pretty lightskin and "good hair". I could have stepped out of line and went to another post office but that would have been a huge inconvenience.
I had a friend who would always point to a lightskin/mixed person or kids, and say they were pretty. Or if they had light eyes she'd point it out and say "she has a pretty eye color". I would hold myself together for the time being but when I got home I would have a major depression episode. I'm very sensitive about this because I've wanted to be lightskin my whole life. Eventually I lashed out at this friend(she never knew the real reason) and we no longer talk anymore.
That is not normal. Get better friends. Some beyotching can be cathartic, dwelling in it is miserable. If you have friends who all sit around and wallow in a big pity party you have the wrong friends. Again, THAT IS NOT NORMAL.
That's the real issue, and that's what you need a therapist for.
You ever heard of grossly overweight people who get a gastric bypass, lose weight, but still feel insecure? That's you.
If you are chasing some kind of state of ultimate high status utopia in the black community, where everyone thinks you are pretty and all these great guys fall all over you and everyone treats you like a queen, you will never find it - even if you lighten your skin. It doesn't exist. That is a fantasy in your head. You don't want to deal with real life and all its complications, so you pine for some perfect life that doesn't exist. You've zeroed in on skin color as your barrier to "the ideal", instead of dealing with the fact that there is no ideal.
Time to put on your big girl panties and deal with life as it is. Find your own happiness like centuries of people who came before you who had to deal with not being "perfect".
Anyway, I have finally decided you are a troll and I'm done playing this game with you. Have fun.
African Americans who look mixed are more mainstream, they are considered less threatening, and most people agree that they are more attractive than black people who don't look mixed. I know that if I looked mixed my life would be so much easier. People would be nicer and more accepting of me. I wouldn't have to question or constantly worry about how attractive or feminine I appear to the opposite sex. all the negative things said about black women especially dark black women in the media would not affect me. I'd be able to open up an African American magazine and see women who resembled me. Dating the opposite sex would be so much easier. If there was some type of surgery that could make me look naturally mixed like Lauren London, Rihanna or Beyonce I'd be the first in line to get it. I really wished my family would have mixed the gene pool a lot more. I don't know what they were thinking, it's like they didn't take into account how hard life would be on their offspring (especially for girls) by mating with each other.
I hope that is not the truth.. I have seen very dark black people and consider them rare like a diamond is rare..I am in awe of the beauty of a very black person .. beauty is in the eye of the beholder..
Society puts up an image of what is beautiful today. They are wrong in some cases especially in the lightness of ones skin as being more beautiful.
I hope that is not the truth.. I have seen very dark black people and consider them rare like a diamond is rare..I am in awe of the beauty of a very black person .. beauty is in the eye of the beholder..
Society puts up an image of what is beautiful today. They are wrong in some cases especially in the lightness of ones skin as being more beautiful.
I've never met anyone who held this belief IRL. Most people seem to think all darkskinned people look alike, often mistaking us for one another.
I've never met anyone who held this belief IRL. Most people seem to think all darkskinned people look alike, often mistaking us for one another.
I guess that is because the majority is still white, and white people grow up being mostly confronted with and focused on white faces. Just like to me most East Asians look alike. I am not proud of that, but I must admit to it as it is a fact. I am not sure if that also influences my opinion on whether or not East Asians are good-looking in my view.
Some say that mixed-race people actually have it harder because they are not really accepted by either side...
Sometimes its people I know or just random people near me having a discussion. I was standing in line at the post office, and a black lady behind me was discussing this young lady she knew who was mixed & had pretty lightskin and "good hair". I could have stepped out of line and went to another post office but that would have been a huge inconvenience.
I had a friend who would always point to a lightskin/mixed person or kids, and say they were pretty. Or if they had light eyes she'd point it out and say "she has a pretty eye color". I would hold myself together for the time being but when I got home I would have a major depression episode. I'm very sensitive about this because I've wanted to be lightskin my whole life. Eventually I lashed out at this friend(she never knew the real reason) and we no longer talk anymore.
Sometimes its people I know or just random people near me having a discussion. I was standing in line at the post office, and a black lady behind me was discussing this young lady she knew who was mixed & had pretty lightskin and "good hair". I could have stepped out of line and went to another post office but that would have been a huge inconvenience.
I had a friend who would always point to a lightskin/mixed person or kids, and say they were pretty. Or if they had light eyes she'd point it out and say "she has a pretty eye color". I would hold myself together for the time being but when I got home I would have a major depression episode. I'm very sensitive about this because I've wanted to be lightskin my whole life. Eventually I lashed out at this friend(she never knew the real reason) and we no longer talk anymore.
You are giving people you don't know, and idiots who make stupid mindless comments WAY too much control over your life.
A large part of attractiveness is confidence within yourself - which has nothing to do with skin color.
The point is that I will never have as much approval as lightskinned/mixed/white/etc women EVER. It won't happen unless I find a way to become lighter.
Do I see other darkskinned women in my environment who are happy? Not really. Every darkskinned woman I have known complained about the same things that I did. They would talk about how dark we were, and how much of a burden it was. All these happy and confident darkskinned Black women do not exist in my world. Most of the black women I see who get a lot of validation, and attention are typically light/mixed women. If they have light eyes or wavy hair, everyone knows who they are, and they are described as being "pretty" by others.
I am trying to understand you really i am, since i have a lot of very good and dear black friends, infact i have known them for over 20 years, so they are not fly by night. One couple over 25.
One thing they have is being positive, and those things you cannot change accept. Your confusing me, who in the hell do YOU ssek approval from. Do your parents approve of you, your family! who are the important ones.
I know a lot of very beautiful darker skin women, and they seem to embrace who they are, and accentuate their beautiful features.
I don't do this all too often, i am 5"5 not in the tall department, i want to be taller, gosh dang it, but nothing i can do about that, except wear heels. I am very large busted, for my height, gosh dang it to me a curse, but i look at myself differently then when i was younger. I appreciate my body, large breasts and all, still a curse to me, but now i at least accept myself all of me.
I just figure, this is who i am, if no one accepts me for me, then they are not my friends to begin with
I have mixed race on my inlaws side, yes my nieces thru marriage are gorgeous, and a sight for sore eyes. Does this make them better then you no.
And most men are suppose to love long legged women, being my height nothing i can do about that, but work with what i have, the same as you.
Life is short, and we humans fight and disagree over the smallest issues, please be happy. I still feel if you wake up tomorrow white, your problems will not be solved. You only need approval from within from your soul, and your not getting that.
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