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And for the record, both my sons have dated AA women in the past. They are both very good looking and have excellent manners and are very respectful toward women of any color. So they've had no shortage of dates with women of just about every skin color under the sun!
However, neither of my sons (well, none of my kids for that matter) have ever been attracted to anyone of any color who talks with poor grammar, wears what they consider to be tacky clothing (gangsta look or ultra revealing, etc.) or who walks around with a chip on their shoulder.
People who dress gangsta & talk w/ poor grammar are not necessarily trying to attract your sons anyway. I doubt they care
Not necessarily as many nations are more diverse that some may believe. Take Nigeria and India, for example. Now you would probably think people in those places are too different for people to see both in someone, yet people have asked if I am of either background. That I may look like both to people on point because my heritage comes from of those places. Many times people also assume me to be Ethiopian. What is offensive about that? All of those groups are generally beautiful, have diverse looks and amazing cultures. There is no one African look...the continent is full of diversity.
So what? Who wants to look like everyone else? You really need to work on your self-esteem and accpet your own beauty. The above doesn't mean they won't find you beautiful. You have characteristics that so many others don't have. That always makes me feel exotic and beautiful, but I was raised to feel that way. You need to make an greater effort feel good about yourself.
Ethiopians are considered to be very attractive people; the women are considered to be the most beautiful of Africa because they have keen features and soft textured hair. However, West African women are often steretyped for having hard features and looking manly. Of course, not all West African women fit that stereotype but when someone says I look like I am from (insert whatever W. African country) I often wonder whether this is a good thing or a bad thing. West African women are not considered the ideal.
If someone told me I looked Ethiopian it would make my day
African Americans who look mixed are more mainstream, they are considered less threatening, and most people agree that they are more attractive than black people who don't look mixed. I know that if I looked mixed my life would be so much easier. People would be nicer and more accepting of me. I wouldn't have to question or constantly worry about how attractive or feminine I appear to the opposite sex. all the negative things said about black women especially dark black women in the media would not affect me. I'd be able to open up an African American magazine and see women who resembled me. Dating the opposite sex would be so much easier. If there was some type of surgery that could make me look naturally mixed like Lauren London, Rihanna or Beyonce I'd be the first in line to get it. I really wished my family would have mixed the gene pool a lot more. I don't know what they were thinking, it's like they didn't take into account how hard life would be on their offspring (especially for girls) by mating with each other.
Oh purple rage... please, honey, please don't do this to yourself. Gosh, you make me want to cry.
My dear, there are many men who are attracted to dark skinned African American women... MANY. Now, admittedly, most of them aren't African American men (lol), but trust me there are. I don't know your age or where you live, but I think you are giving clues to those things by what you've stated. Your statement tells me two things:
First, that your self esteem is quite low. I think you should seek counseling for this. I'll bet anything that you are a lovely looking young lady.
Second, wherever you live or wherever you grew up you've not been met with much acceptance or kindness. In this case, my advice is to move... yes, I'm serious. Depending on your age, I think you should doll yourself up a bit (a little makeup, nice hair do, some earrings) get a friend to take some nice pictures of yourself smiling and try going on a few reputable dating websites. On your profile, let yourself shine! Talk about your favorite foods, some hobbies, what you like to read, where you've traveled and where you would like to travel to and why. Talk about what you want out of life and be honest and genuine. Between your cute looks and your sparkling personality, eventually you will find the mate you seek... just know that it takes time, putting yourself out there and being a good, decent and mentally and emotionally healthy person.
And trust me... there are men of all ethnic backgrounds that find dark skinned African American women attractive. I have some beautiful dark skinned, black girlfriends to prove it!
Oh purple rage... please, honey, please don't do this to yourself. Gosh, you make me want to cry.
My dear, there are many men who are attracted to dark skinned African American women... MANY. Now, admittedly, most of them aren't African American men (lol), but trust me there are. I don't know your age or where you live, but I think you are giving clues to those things by what you've stated. Your statement tells me two things:
First, that your self esteem is quite low. I think you should seek counseling for this. I'll bet anything that you are a lovely looking young lady.
Second, wherever you live or wherever you grew up you've not been met with much acceptance or kindness. In this case, my advice is to move... yes, I'm serious. Depending on your age, I think you should doll yourself up a bit (a little makeup, nice hair do, some earrings) get a friend to take some nice pictures of yourself smiling and try going on a few reputable dating websites. On your profile, let yourself shine! Talk about your favorite foods, some hobbies, what you like to read, where you've traveled and where you would like to travel to and why. Talk about what you want out of life and be honest and genuine. Between your cute looks and your sparkling personality, eventually you will find the mate you seek... just know that it takes time, putting yourself out there and being a good, decent and mentally and emotionally healthy person.
And trust me... there are men of all ethnic backgrounds that find dark skinned African American women attractive. I have some beautiful dark skinned, black girlfriends to prove it!
Ethiopians are considered to be very attractive people; the women are considered to be the most beautiful of Africa because they have keen features and soft textured hair. However, West African women are often steretyped for having hard features and looking manly. Of course, not all West African women fit that stereotype but when someone says I look like I am from (insert whatever W. African country) I often wonder whether this is a good thing or a bad thing. West African women are not considered the ideal.
If someone told me I looked Ethiopian it would make my day
So what, neither are women from Pakistan or Bolivia or Outer Mongolia but you don't see those women constantly creating 'woe is me' threads.
The fact remains that no matter how attractive a woman happens to be, she will NEVER be considered attractive by ALL men. And trust me, based on your lack of self esteem and lack of understanding of the opposite sex, the last thing that your psyche could handle is a sudden onslaught of sexual attention from every man that you happen to encounter. Most (sane) women are not trying to make EVERY man want her. Most of us seek out a soul mate who will love us for more than just our looks and for marriages that will last until we are old and gray.
And for the record, both my sons have dated AA women in the past. They are both very good looking and have excellent manners and are very respectful toward women of any color. So they've had no shortage of dates with women of just about every skin color under the sun!
However, neither of my sons (well, none of my kids for that matter) have ever been attracted to anyone of any color who talks with poor grammar, wears what they consider to be tacky clothing (gangsta look or ultra revealing, etc.) or who walks around with a chip on their shoulder.
And good for your sons. Nothing wrong at all with any young man being respectuful towards all women. Nothing wrong with your sons, wanting to speak good grammar, nothing wrong, with your sons, not wanting to wear tacky clothing which does cast a negative impression.
Pat yourself on the back, you raised your sons well.
For one thing you people are feeding this person's negativity. No matter what anyone says to her, she comes back with more negativity. More low self esteem.
Cannot help a person who gripes constatnly, but does not want solutions, makes excuses why they can't work for her.
Again hogwash, i know many back girlfriends, who are sucessful have their own businesses or high positions. Are extremely good-looking, nice figures, smart, funny, caring considerate, and they are not mixed. And i know them, so i am not buying what the op is selling. They had goals to acheive each one one of the 3 and nothing got in their way of this, not even their skin color.
Beauty is skin deep and so is color, if you hate the color of your skin, you must hate yourself.
The OP does not want help, she is just toying with emotions.
Way back in the day i gained yes me 45 pounds with each child yes me. I cried with my first pregancy. Two weeks later, i stopped crying and did something about it. Discipline, exercise, weight lifting, exercise bike, walking drinking lots of water. You know what 2 months after my son, my weight was off.
Crying and feeling bad for youself, only works for so long, then it is time for soltuions, no matter who you are. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and have a new outlook on life.
Last edited by california-jewel; 04-22-2013 at 02:04 AM..
When I see documentaries of actual African women, they are all absolutely gorgeous, imo.
Beyonce looks like 100%, she doesn't look mix but they're trying to lighter her up and give her more Hispanic features so she can be considered beautiful by others but I don't think beyonce is a good example.
But I agree with the op as a dark skinned black man, lighter skinned people are more easily accepted and lots of people don't like to admit that.
Is this issue about general acceptance? Men? What is it? Dark skinned have to work harder that's just how it goes but you can still achieve, I know dark skinned women who do quite well financially and are happily married. These data looks take a backseat to success. Attractive doesn't mean much these days to a lot of people.
Beyonce looks like 100%, she doesn't look mix but they're trying to lighter her up and give her more Hispanic features so she can be considered beautiful by others but I don't think beyonce is a good example.
But I agree with the op as a dark skinned black man, lighter skinned people are more easily accepted and lots of people don't like to admit that.
Beyonce does not look 100% Black. It's obvious she's mixed with White.
Beyonce is a total mix because of her mother, who is "a Louisiana Creole, has African, French, Native American, and Irish ancestry; is a descendant of Acadian leader Joseph Broussard."
Anyway, that doesn't mean that everyone finds her attractive.
Nor do I know who keeps telling you West African women look like men. I have never heard anyone say that. Quite to the contrary, some people make fun of those women because of their excessive female figure, which however is probably more like an expression of secret envy on the part of manly white women.
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