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She's a saint. I wouldn't want someone with a kid. To have to accept someone else's kid? To have to work to support a kid that isn't mine? Not me. I'm not that type. That's for other people.
Well, my ex had two, when we got together. Their real father was an abusive drug addict. I adopted them, and am the only Dad they ever really knew. I am not willing to do that again, however. There are no more pre fabs in my future.
I can't disagree that my precious gal is a saint. Lol, though I treat her more like a queen. . Like I said, her kids are grown and my natural son is pretty much grown. Our kids don't interfere with our relationship, at all. She and my son are buddies, it's not a parental thing at all. He and I's activities don't put her out, its not like that. If she doesn't feel like going with, she does whatever she wants.
My son knows how much I love her, and she is not a come lately. He has known her his whole life. He loves her to death, and she reciprocates. They are quite fond of each other. There is no issues about who comes first, not like that either. He is my son, and I love him, she is my partner, and I love her just as much. My attention, so far as priority, leans toward her. My son totally understands. He is moving into independence, and has his own life. Soon, he will be out on his own and gone. She will still be here. We have OUR life, and that is numero uno. Nobody takes a back seat, however. I don't sit second fiddle with her kids either. I am 48 and she is 50. If I sit second chair to anyone, it's his highness, her cat. Lol, we can only snuggle with his permission. He has first dibs on Moms lap. But, fortunatly, he likes me. He can sense how much I love his Mom. Haha.
So, at the end of the day, we are all, deliriously, happy. Kids, cats, dogs and all, aside. She and I are a unit. A package deal, for all involved. Neither one of us thought we could ever, really, love this way again. And it was under our noses, the whole time. That is priceless, and worth anything to keep., Thankfully, neither of us wants the other to change a thing.
Child support I can agree too (not the insane amount), but alimony? For a grown woman? No way in hell. Alimony is BS.
And this is coming from a SAHM mother. No woman should depend on an ex to still provide for her. He can provide for the kids, and should, but for her? No freaking way.
I know people who married those with adult children and even then there is drama. Problem the worst case I have seen was this first time bride who was 50 and married a divorced dad with college age kids. Long story short he was still supporting them and a few years later his one child got married. The new stepmom wasn't allowed to come to the wedding at all because the guy was still fighting with his ex. Just a big mess all around.
Let's not forget either that often the new stepparent even has to buy Christmas/Hanukkah/birthday gifts for the kids and possibly the step grandchildren if there are any. I once dated a man who expected me to buy Christmas gifts for his kids but couldn't afford to buy me gifts. I dumped him not long after.
OMG. We should write a book about the horror of marrying a man that comes with kids.
A friend of mine (I work with her, actually) has a grandma whose hubby had died many years before, and she fell in love with this old guy, so they actually got married in their 80s. So guess what? Not long after they got married, one of her sons (my friend's uncle, who is in his 60s), shows up after losing his job and moves in with his mom and her new hubby (without asking for permission, which is her fault, actually), and this guy is eating everything in the fridge, using up electricity like crazy (he's on the computer all nite instead of looking for a job), and he asks his mom for money before he goes to look for a job. This guy that married her must be flipping out.
OMG. We should write a book about the horror of marrying a man that comes with kids.
A friend of mine (I work with her, actually) has a grandma whose hubby had died many years before, and she fell in love with this old guy, so they actually got married in their 80s. So guess what? Not long after they got married, one of her sons (my friend's uncle, who is in his 60s), shows up after losing his job and moves in with his mom and her new hubby (without asking for permission, which is her fault, actually), and this guy is eating everything in the fridge, using up electricity like crazy (he's on the computer all nite instead of looking for a job), and he asks his mom for money before he goes to look for a job. This guy that married her must be flipping out.
I have some doozies too, including from the guys I dated with kids. I ended things with these guys and for awhile we stayed in touch as friends (One I still talk to sometimes)and their drama is terrible. One was so bad my dad warned me not to date him (and he was friends with my dad, that's how bad it was).
Coming from someone that is going through a divorce, some of the comments on this thread are WAY OFF. Judges can and do whatever they want. Awards of 80, 90, even 100% or MORE of a man's income are way more common than people on this thread seem to think. A common real life example that happens often is when a man's income sharply decreases in the last year or 2 prior to divorce and the judge simply takes the highest number based on the past 5 years of income and calculates based on that. Another thing that happens all the time is that a company cuts all OT and the man was used to working a lot of OT. Or the judge will determine that a man's income is too low compared to what he theoretically should be earning, and calculate based on what the judge thinks the man should be earning.
Something that's important to note is that in the great state of CO, alimony can never be modified- no matter what. Disability, job loss, retirement- NONE of it matters to the court.
Land of the free and home of the brave, right?
Also, if the woman is awarded custody she most certainly CAN keep the children from the man. The man's only remedy is to file multiple contempt charges against the wife, which is time consuming and expensive- and often ineffective because judges don't jail women from keeping their kids from fathers in this country!
Child support I can agree too (not the insane amount), but alimony? For a grown woman? No way in hell. Alimony is BS.
And this is coming from a SAHM mother. No woman should depend on an ex to still provide for her. He can provide for the kids, and should, but for her? No freaking way.
Yes, alimony is financial vampirism. I got saddled with it, and my ex makes 27 bucks an hour. Plus, she took my family home, and everything in it, got primary custody, and the hild support to go with it. And my son is with me as much as he is her. He hates her boyfriend, ( he is a douchebag, fer sure) so he stays with me a LOT. She is nailing me for 50% of my income, plus she got EVERYTHING we aquired, jointly, save my truck, my dog and my guns. A few of the latter I had to sell to keep from starving and to stay warm.
Yea, I am VERY sick of men getting the shaft. And we do. The laws and courts are lopsided, in favor of women, and we get treated like we are nothing. So what, if we have no life, are sleeping in our car, and eating out of dumpsters. The logic is horrible. How can we support an ex, if we can't support ourselves? How can we work, if we get sick or hurt, and can't afford the medical care? Stupidity, plain and simple.
My current relationship has reaffirmed my faith that all women are not parasitical, vengeful, nasty, creatures. Judges and lawyers, on the other hand.... Without my lil' bitty, beautiful gal, I have now, I would have given up. The laws and the courts need to balance out. As things are, it is destroying men, and causing a LOT of damage and hate. Not every guy gets lucky, like me, and finds someone to give them a reason to live.
Why the outrage?
He consented.
What, you don't know that such obligations are empowered by "voluntary" participation in Socialist InSecurity ?
Tsk, tsk.
"The Social Security Act does not require an individual to have a Social Security Number (SSN) to live and work within the United States, nor does it require an SSN simply for the purpose of having one..."
- - - The Social Security Administration
Why the outrage?
He consented.
What, you don't know that such obligations are empowered by "voluntary" participation in Socialist InSecurity ?
Tsk, tsk.
You are aware of the elements of any valid contract, correct?
Where is the consideration, full disclosure, and meeting of the minds?
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. Like I said, her kids are grown and my natural son is pretty much grown. Our kids don't interfere with our relationship, at all. She and my son are buddies, it's not a parental thing at all. He and I's activities don't put her out, its not like that. If she doesn't feel like going with, she does whatever she wants. 
