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Old 06-03-2013, 08:54 AM
 
4,217 posts, read 7,301,769 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mares View Post
If these women are surgeons, VP's, etc. then they are feminists. You can not participate in the spoils of feminism, which is equal rights to education, job opportunities, fair credit practices and protection under the law, without being a feminist. If these women were not feminists they would just be at home taking care of the kids and house while their husbands were doing great things.
Lets just say I look at it this way...

While my mother was not the breadwinner, she worked 70 hr weeks and made/makes over 150k a year. She still believes it is her job as a wife/mother/women to clean the house, do the laundry, make dinner etc. She also helps care for my father's elderly father who lives with my parents. She thinks it is her responsibility to make sure he is well cared for. All while working 6 12hr night shifts a week.

I wouldn't consider her a feminist by any means.

 
Old 06-03-2013, 08:55 AM
 
36,529 posts, read 30,863,516 times
Reputation: 32796
Quote:
Originally Posted by le roi View Post
Fair enough, the question is why this should be thrown upon the man's shoulders to remedy.

Feminists want to say the solution is that men should do more housework. Maybe the solution is to do less housework, and to have fewer babies.



Well, one reason would be because she made a vow to do so.



Neither is a guy who plays video games all day. It's all about realistic expectations.

The operative cliche here is: If you want to do something right, do it yourself. If a woman wants to leave the housekeeping up to the man, she has no room to complain when it isn't up to her standards.
And this is why these marriages fail.
 
Old 06-03-2013, 09:00 AM
 
36,529 posts, read 30,863,516 times
Reputation: 32796
Quote:
Originally Posted by usamathman View Post
Don't know too many men that have issues with their wife making lots of $$$. What MOST of us do have issues with is when this same woman feels the need to DEGRADE/DEMASCULATE HER MAN and shove the issue in his face.
Quote:
Originally Posted by usamathman View Post
Women demasculate/degrade their men by the things that come out of their mouth. Talking down to their man. Second guessing his judgments. WORDS ARE POWERFUL.
Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
Can you give me an example that you have heard in real life? I cannot picture it.
Since no one could give specific examples Im going to guess its when a wife tries to have a converstation with her husband about pitching in more with the cooking, cleaning and child rearing because she works as many hours and makes as much or more money. Justifying to him why he needs to take on his share of domestic duties "womens work" emasculates him.
 
Old 06-03-2013, 09:04 AM
 
22,768 posts, read 30,733,597 times
Reputation: 14745
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jasper03 View Post
A vow means that you can be a complete jerk and deliberately make your partner suffer?
Who said anything about being a complete jerk and deliberately making your partner suffer?

the question was about a hypothetical woman who was the breadwinner, and married a man who didn't do as much housework as she liked. Let me repeat that: He didn't do as much housework as SHE wanted.

I'm simply pointing out that (A) She needs to take responsibility for making a vow to a supposedly "childlike" man (not that she shouldn't divorce him, just take some personal responsibility for making bad assumptions), and (B) He isn't "wrong" for not meeting her standards of housework.

Quote:
Is this typical male thinking? I will be a douche because she made a vow to not leave me?
Who is deciding to be a douche? You lost me.

Last edited by le roi; 06-03-2013 at 09:13 AM..
 
Old 06-03-2013, 09:10 AM
 
Location: Toronto
2,159 posts, read 2,811,855 times
Reputation: 1158
Quote:
Originally Posted by le roi View Post
Fair enough, the question is why this should be thrown upon the man's shoulders to remedy.

So she should be happy to do all the work?

Feminists want to say the solution is that men should do more housework. Maybe the solution is to do less housework, and to have fewer babies.

These guys WANTED kids. And women who have husband's that don't help, don't agree to a second child from what I've seen. Which caused more arguments between a couple I know. He didn't help, she wouldn't have more when it would cause her more work and cost more money. I didn't have a problem going for more kids because my SO helps.

Well, one reason would be because she made a vow to do so.

And he's not fulfilling his promise to be her husband. He's nearly another dependent in the household.

Neither is a guy who plays video games all day. It's all about realistic expectations.

I think couples should discuss expectations for housework and maybe try doing a good chunk of babysitting. Say for a couple going away for a weekend. Maybe they'd have more realistic expectations with some sleep deprivation.

The operative cliche here is: If you want to do something right, do it yourself. If a woman wants to leave the housekeeping up to the man, she has no room to complain when it isn't up to her standards.

Who's leaving the housekeeping to the man? These women were talking about husband's who literally get home from work and go straight to the tv or computer and fall asleep there or stay at online until 3 or 4 in the morning. They literally contribute NOTHING. I'm amazed these women stick around for years before they divorce. They're crazy to put up with it. If this were about "not doing a good enough job, you can negotiate. When it's like pulling teeth to get a guy to parent their own child, he's not a spouse, he's an another child.
.
 
Old 06-03-2013, 09:13 AM
 
Location: Toronto
2,159 posts, read 2,811,855 times
Reputation: 1158
Quote:
Originally Posted by le roi View Post
Who said anything about being a complete jerk and deliberately making your partner suffer?

the question was about a hypothetical woman who was the breadwinner, and married a man who didn't do as much housework as she liked. Let me repeat that: He didn't do as much housework as SHE wanted.

I'm simply pointing out that (A) She needs to take responsibility for making a vow to a supposedly "childlike" man, and (B) He isn't "wrong" for not meeting her standards of housework.



Who is deciding to be a douche? You lost me.
As much? Equal. People expect an equal amount of work being done. When the bulk goes to the woman, there will be war. Expect it.
 
Old 06-03-2013, 09:13 AM
 
22,768 posts, read 30,733,597 times
Reputation: 14745
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mares View Post
And this is why these marriages fail.
I don't know what you mean by "this", but I was describing misaligned expectations.
 
Old 06-03-2013, 09:17 AM
 
Location: Bronx, New York
2,134 posts, read 3,043,011 times
Reputation: 3209
Quote:
Originally Posted by le roi View Post
Who said anything about being a complete jerk and deliberately making your partner suffer?




Who is deciding to be a douche? You lost me.
Do you have a family? I can't imagine how to maintain positive regard towars someone who sits in front of the Tv/game console while the other person busts their rear around the house after working all day. Kids need dinner...homework help...diaper changed. Stuff is actively going on and they're running around solo putting
out the fires while their so called partner sits and vegetates? That's douche worthy behavior.
 
Old 06-03-2013, 09:18 AM
 
22,768 posts, read 30,733,597 times
Reputation: 14745
Quote:
Originally Posted by monemi View Post
So she should be happy to do all the work?
I didn't say anybody should or shouldn't be happy.

I said that two people can easily have different expectations in terms of the total household chore load.

Quote:
These guys WANTED kids.
Who? The people you know? Or men in general?

Quote:
And he's not fulfilling his promise to be her husband.
Itemized chores aren't part of the marriage vow.

Quote:
Who's leaving the housekeeping to the man?
the hypothetical people we're talking about, apparently.

or apparently not? the goal posts seem to keep moving here.

Quote:
These women were talking about husband's who literally get home from work and go straight to the tv or computer and fall asleep there or stay at online until 3 or 4 in the morning. They literally contribute NOTHING.
What did they agree upon prior to the marriage?
 
Old 06-03-2013, 09:20 AM
 
22,768 posts, read 30,733,597 times
Reputation: 14745
Quote:
Originally Posted by monemi View Post
As much? Equal. People expect an equal amount of work being done. When the bulk goes to the woman, there will be war. Expect it.
By your logic, she could solve the problem by doing less housework.

voila, equality.
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