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Is this another whiner thread? Another Men's Rights thread? It's so full of misinformation and distorted info, one can't help come to that conclusion. Some women have a very hard time getting a restraining order, and the police don't always respond. Judges too, can be jerks, and let violent men off easy. Grave injustices happen to both sides. Your post is so one-sided, that on some forums it would probably not be considered a legit post.
What are these studies that "show" that 50% of violent spouses are women, btw? You'll need to post a link. That claim makes your whole OP come across as a joke. Sorry, OP, but you have to do better than this.
The 50% number for how many marriages end in divorce is obsolete, too. Times change, statistics change with them. 60% of marriages now don't end in divorce. That's first-time marriages.
I knew this article was joke as soon as I seen "Right Wing News."
Quote:
Originally Posted by zentropa
Love these men who post and think that divorce is like becoming a victim of some random, sudden crime. Like getting mugged in an alley. Pretend helplessness.
Sorry guys. You can control the risks for divorce to almost zero. Pick the right person by getting to know them well and taking your time. Make sure your values are very similar. Communicate openly. Put the marriage before self interests. Never take your spouse for granted. Share responsibilities equally. Be prepared to face difficulties and have a plan for how you will respond. Be open to outside help when needed.
These aren't just words of wisdom. These are actual things you have to DO.
Right on. I'd rather focus on trying to make a marriage work instead of being negative and worrying about it ending.
But they don't happen all that often in a healthy marriage. In fact, they've never happened to me.
Of course if you never get divorced its not relevant, but it only takes one to get a divorce it takes 2 to get married and if you don't get married its impossible to get divorced.
My opinion of this matter is that doctors will solicit extra input as a CYA thing later in case the person with the vasectomy decides to sue.
I'm not really understanding why a person would be required to tell his/her spouse about sterilization. Granted, it's the moral thing to do. But aren't our own bodies just that -- our own bodies?
I'm not really understanding why a person would be required to tell his/her spouse about sterilization. Granted, it's the moral thing to do. But aren't our own bodies just that -- our own bodies?
I personally agree that our bodies our are own. I think this applies more to younger men seeking vasectomies.
I'm not advocating for it, just explaining the rationale as I understand it.
BTW - When my husband got his vasectomy, I didn't fill out any paperwork. Zero, zilch, nada. His doctor didn't give a crap what his wife thought. Men don't need permission from their spouse to get a vasectomy.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains
But, it should be noted, you aren't in America. My husband's doctor required me to come in and discuss my feelings with him before he would perform the procedure.
The 3 doctors we had a consultation with would NOT do a vasectomy unless I signed a release/consent form. That really annoyed the crap out of me. It is not my job to give my husband permission, plus I really didn't want to consent or agree to any of the side effects listed on the form because they were NOT okay with me. It was his body/his choice so I was a bit conflicted.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ
I'm not really understanding why a person would be required to tell his/her spouse about sterilization. Granted, it's the moral thing to do. But aren't our own bodies just that -- our own bodies?
I would assume they would need to tell so they don't mislead that person? I would be pissed as hell if my husband snuck off and got himself a vasectomy and never told me...and I wound up taking birth control. That was my green light to not worry about birth control, condoms or pregnancy anymore.
I can't imagine why a person would keep this from their spouse.
I can't imagine why a person would keep this from their spouse.
I can. The biggest one that comes to my mind is if the couple is separated, have a long drawn-out divorce and the man is back in the dating world. They're still technically married but his hands are tied.
I suppose there could be some special "dispensation" from the courts in that case, but the thought of having to receive the system's say-so (and apply, petition and pay for the whole process) still gives me the withers.
I see the reverse too -- say a woman wants to have an abortion and her husband doesn't want her to. If reproductive rights also belong to one's spouse, isn't that scenario inevitable eventually, or at least the potential for it? Or she doesn't want more children but her husband puts his foot down and refuses to "allow" her to have a tubal ligation.
How about if the husband is a religiously traditional kind of guy, and refuses to sign off on his wife's sterilization even though she's exhausted and knows she can't possibly raise another child? Sure, there's divorce in that case...which can be easier said than done. The wife might not be able to afford to be divorced yet. She may have no job or education. She may be petitioning for a divorce right now but the husband comes around and, well, yeah...marital rape definitely does happen.
I can just see so many "what ifs" to requiring a spouse's "permission" for sterilization. Yes, I too would be pissed as hell if my husband had had a vasectomy and never told me. But that's my situation, and yours is yours. We aren't dealing with what other people might be dealing with.
It's just my personal view that having to get consent v. having reproductive rights over one's own body can be a very dangerous thing.
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