Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I'm pro marriage and all but the devastating effects to the children might have actually been more the result of the bitterness and feuding that took place while the marriage was still intact.
Most likely the same things that destroyed the family in the first place is what hurt the kids.
Anyhow I tend to doubt this -- a whole lot of kids are born to parents who never marry and I doubt their statistics are at all better.
@ bold: I can totally agree with that.
Sometimes its far better for the woman (or man) to pick up and leave. Better on the kids.
Sometimes its far better for the woman (or man) to pick up and leave. Better on the kids.
Most adults whose parents divorced when they were children can tell you WHEN their parents marriage started to fall apart and when it was, in reality, over, even when it wasn't obvious to the outside world, although legally it may have lasted for many more years.
The cases of children being surprised when they are told their parents are slitting up is for the most part, Hollywood fantasy.
Last edited by JohnnyMack; 07-06-2013 at 07:36 PM..
If the only thing you see in a wife is Sex, it would be better if you just buy a hooker when the urge hits you.
Men don't really have to spend $ to take care of the sexual tensions. Marriage for the sake of sex is stupid, yet, scheduled sex is pretty much the only thing a modern wife is willing to offer once in a while, if you reasonably measure up to her TV inspired orgasm expectations, otherwise - asta lavista.
Here what an average male can expect of his average wife: Help - none/conditional, support - none/conditional, loyalty - none, trophy wife attitude - yes (even if your "trophy" looks like a manatee), feeling you got yourself a second job pleasing her - yes. Marriage like this may "work" for as long as both parties have their independent well paying careers/life going outside of that marriage (or at least two separate TV sets etc.), but any sizable life bump will shatter that sacred union pretty fast. Marriage of two independent agents is an oxymoron. Sex is easily obtainable outside of marriage, especially for women . Yet, people keep on marrying despite the odds, they must be looking for something. In my personal experience, an average guy rarely marries more than twice. Two wives usually is enough to dig a financial hole to bury an average schmo 12 feet down not speaking of emotional issues.
Last edited by RememberMee; 07-06-2013 at 07:52 PM..
I have to wonder. Is divorce the cause of these other things? Or are all these things (to include divorce) caused by some other factor?
Good question. Very plausible.
However, have you ever seen a male or female feminist question any statistics compiled by feminists?
Makes you wonder if being feminist makes one infallible.
Why are there so few women in Africa, Asia, Latin America, and the Middle East as violent as American women? And jut about all American women are feminist. Not all but nearly all. Although... I'm not sure if the feminists of the UK are as violence prone as so many American women.
You tell an American woman, "Just back up out of my face," as she gets in your face talking smack, and she might stab you with a knife.
It's hard to know how innocent--if at all--an American woman is in divorcing a man, or purposely trying to get him enraged at you, if he has a lot of money.
This woman was only married 41 days I guess. I don't watch Basketball Wives so I don't know who she is. I don't watch football either. Not usually anyways.
I know a few women who would refuse full time retail work because it would cut their government assistance (Ohio): medicare, food stamps, subsidized child care, housing assistance and hell knows what else. State became a major provider for women, this changed women attitudes and behavior (not to the better).
As for that psycho bubble you claim, it's so NPRish, it's so feel good. Did you consider writing for women' magazines? Most divorces are precipitated by financial troubles and/or diminished social/income status (it's very important for upwardly mobile college educated women). Women are quite willing to tolerate all kind of alleged "emotional abuse" if money&status is coming in. But when $tream dries out, watch out, the most outrageous lies and exaggerations of "emotional abuse" will start popping up. If emotional abuse you claim is a sole reason for women' discontent, why so many newly jobless men are served with divorce papers by their wives? Let me guess, lose of a job intensified emotional abuse . Besides, it's my personal observation, but it appears to me that quite a few women love, LOVE truly abusive types. It's meek "beta males" (as you say) who are labeled "emotional abusers" before being discarded.
Maybe, just maybe women' magazines and TV give women unrealistic ideas and expectations about "good life" and "emotional abuse"? Or maybe, just maybe some women don't want to understand the toll of wage work (that provide that $ they love so much) and sex differences? If entire population embraces consumerism (including relationships) to "live life to its fullest" (as seen on TV) it's a recipe for social breakdown especially considering that in the modern world there are no "higher moral authorities" than self and self-fulfillment (guided by mass cult & status longings).
I always believe divorce was and is a scam. I believe if married couple wants to split, they should just do it without involving the courts. They should then just declare themselves unmarried. No property splits, alimony, or emotional wreckage.
It's funny how easy it is to marry and get married in different places, but the court is the only way to split.
I liked your post reply to me (I think that was you).
But I don't want to see a woman--or her kids as well--just left totally without anything if she divorces her husband, or he initiates the divorces, and he has a little money to spare. I mean... if the guy has a good income or decent inheritance, he could make sure his kids and their mother are in a decent position. They don't have to be living lavishly but they should not be in the poorhouse either. Not deep in the ghetto at least.
Most adults whose parents divorced when they were children can tell you WHEN their parents marriage started to fall apart and when it was, in reality, over, even when it wasn't obvious to the outside world, although legally it may have lasted for many more years.
The cases of children being surprised when they are told their parents are slitting up is for the most part, Hollywood fantasy.
I was raised in an environment of domestic violence. I remember my mother fleeing with me and my younger brother (the youngest was not yet born) at night, tell us our father is loading up his rifle to kill us all. We went over to my grandmother's house, my father's mother, where we were locked in the bathroom at one point.
My household was not Leave it to Beaver. However, it was far better than homes lives of a few cousins of mine. Domestic violence was far worse in their homes. By their fathers.
My parents didn't split up--even though my brother and I wished they had back then--and to my astonishment their marriages has greatly improved. Never thought in a million years that would happen.
But I've known of a lot of women that actually assault their boyfriends and husbands. This seems to be especially pronounced in Black-America.
I still don't favor no-fault divorce. Nor am I so naive or inexperienced in life to being kind or loving matters much of anything to Western women. Many of them can be violent. Many if not most of them are simply mean people. Period. And just about all of them are conniving in some way.
I thought women were most the initiators in no-fault divorces? But maybe I'm wrong on that. I need to google up what I can find to see what it says.
From hearsay I heard--in the United States--that most women filing no-fault divorces simply give reasons like I'm bored with him, or something along those lines or to that affect. But again, that's just hearsay I got that from.
If you were a feminist and you wanted to turn marriage into a racket for women, make divorce easier (i.e., get women out of the contract), make sure courts, give women half the wealth of the man, and if and when prenub contracts are created in counter move to protect men from the feminist racket, you get a court case precedent making prenubs weakened too [1].
I can tell you pay attention. You're 100% right and that's what I'm getting out. I'm not saying ban divorce but make it harder. If a woman is abused then she has remedies to dissolve the union. What is going on now is as you say many divorces (around 90%) are initiated by women who list things like being bored as the reason.
However, have you ever seen a male or female feminist question any statistics compiled by feminists?
Makes you wonder if being feminist makes one infallible.
Why are there so few women in Africa, Asia, Latin America, and the Middle East as violent as American women? And jut about all American women are feminist. Not all but nearly all. Although... I'm not sure if the feminists of the UK are as violence prone as so many American women.
Marriage doesn't exist outside of social environment. Social environment is shaped by survival challenges. Survival challenges, in their turn, are affected by technological, economical, resource, etc.. factors. In Africa, for example, men and women need each other to simply survive. Just 100 years ago American man and woman needed each other to survive. It's no longer true in a society where we earn (individually) our right for a meal ticket by making ourselves attractive to the corporate-governmental "collective", and/or get assistance from collective. We don't need each other to survive, but we remain social animals who need human companionship.
American (and global) marriage shifted towards satisfying those very volatile and hard to define emotional "longings" as inspired by mass cult. To complicate things even further, marriage minded folks (especially women) remain to be very sensitive to income & social status issues. In essence, "emotional", "soul mate" & "chemistry" requirements were superimposed on the ancient foundation of status and wealth. This made marriage to be something that it was never before. It's debatable if ancient "survival&reproduction" social institution can handle modern expectations, considering hard-to-define nature of those expectations.
" The terrible toll of making divorce easier: Children are more likely to be violent, take drugs and have underage sex"
As one who has seen the ugly side of divorce from all sides, I say the study if flawed.
In fact, IMO it is pure B.S.!
My mother stayed with my drunken, abusive stepfather "for my sake" until I joined the Navy, then divorced him. She should have done it at least five years earlier, it would have saved some hospital bills.
My first ex-wife left me for another man.
I left my second ex-wife. It was either that, or shoot her, and ammunition was too expensive, even back then.
I have never used drugs (other than tobacco and alcohol). Neither have any of the kids in our blended family (hers, mine, and ours).
My third marriage has lasted over 30 years.
Such "studies" try to fit everybody into a mold, and it just doesn't work. There are ALWAYS exceptions to the "rule".
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
. Yet, people keep on marrying despite the odds, they must be looking for something. In my personal experience, an average guy rarely marries more than twice. Two wives usually is enough to dig a financial hole to bury an average schmo 12 feet down not speaking of emotional issues.
