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We can start a whole new thread just on this post alone. You made some very valid points about teachers not being patient with black students. My son who went to an elementary school in my predominately white neighborhood was being hit and getting picked on by a white student. It got to the point where he didn't want to come to school because these incidents happened during recess, and when my son would tell the teacher on duty what was going on, there were no witnesses, so, she didn't do anything.
When my wife noticed that my son didn't want to come to school, she told him that the next time the boy hits him and picks on him, he better knock the boy out. My son did, and guess what? The teacher on duty noticed when my son hit the white boy back, and she reported it to the principal.
After the principal called my wife to tell her that my son was being suspended for hitting the boy, my wife informed him how this student was hitting my son and that my son was crying and not wanting to come to school because the teacher on duty didn't do anything about it when he went to her like he was supposed to do. So my wife asked him why now when my son protects himself from this same student by defending himself and hitting the boy back, the teacher on duty notices that? The principal just said that he would handle the matter and wouldn't suspend my son.
What your son experienced, it goes back to perception. Some people go according to the perception of "Black people are a problem, they can never be victims of someone's abuse". Some teachers think like that. I've been in a situation where that was the case. I've also been in situations where I was given a break.
What you mentioned about telling your son to defend himself reminds me of the experiences I had. I was at a point where I hated school. My father told me that I should hit back if anyone ever hit me. I understood that if I didn't fight back, I would keep getting picked on. On the other hand, I also knew that getting in a fight would cause a scene, and I could be severely punished. I always assumed that most administrators don't care if it's self-defense or not. What happened to your son shows that there are some people who view Black children negatively, in any situation.
High school, well, it was a bit different. I I remember one fight got in. I was in the 11th grade. I got jumped in the hallway by three Black students. I fought back this time. I was at a point where it was "fight ans worry about the consequences later". I got lucky. The woman who saw it perceived it as self-defense on my part. I've got alot of stories about what I went through in middle school and high school. I won't mention them all in this post.
The thing is, Black people still end up having to work harder than usual to not have that bad perception, and those like us who have nothing to do with the very worst stereotypes have to do the heavy duty work. The thugs/hood rats don't care how they are perceived. People who do care have to work that much harder.
We can start a whole new thread just on this post alone. You made some very valid points about teachers not being patient with black students. My son who went to an elementary school in my predominately white neighborhood was being hit and getting picked on by a white student. It got to the point where he didn't want to come to school because these incidents happened during recess, and when my son would tell the teacher on duty what was going on, there were no witnesses, so, she didn't do anything.
When my wife noticed that my son didn't want to come to school, she told him that the next time the boy hits him and picks on him, he better knock the boy out. My son did, and guess what? The teacher on duty noticed when my son hit the white boy back, and she reported it to the principal.
After the principal called my wife to tell her that my son was being suspended for hitting the boy, my wife informed him how this student was hitting my son and that my son was crying and not wanting to come to school because the teacher on duty didn't do anything about it when he went to her like he was supposed to do. So my wife asked him why now when my son protects himself from this same student by defending himself and hitting the boy back, the teacher on duty notices that? The principal just said that he would handle the matter and wouldn't suspend my son.
How ghetto is this! You are a teacher, and the only solution your wife could come up with is to tell your son "he better knock the boy out."???
Why didn't you man up and call the principal yourself?
Doesn't your district do anti-bullying lessons? Didn't your credentialing program teach you anything about prevention of bullying?
I would have been too embarrassed to tell this story on-line. Why did you? No wonder teachers get so little respect from the general public.
Unfreakinbelievable!
How ghetto is this! You are a teacher, and the only solution your wife could come up with is to tell your son "he better knock the boy out."???
Why didn't you man up and call the principal yourself?
Doesn't your district do anti-bullying lessons? Didn't your credentialing program teach you anything about prevention of bullying?
I would have been too embarrassed to tell this story on-line. Why did you? No wonder teachers get so little respect from the general public.
Unfreakinbelievable!
Some schools don't do "anti-bullying" lessons. And I don't consider hitting back to be "ghetto". I consider that self defense. I understand where antredd is coming from. It is a situation of "if you do hit back, if you do retaliate, you get suspended, but if you don't hit back. that bully will keep messing with you". One thing I learned in school was this. Alot of bullies don't understand or care what kind of punishment comes their way. Some of the bullies never get caught for what they do. Many lie their way out of their situation. Sometimes the administrators sees the behavior going on, and do nothing. In fact, antredd just said nothing was being done about his son being bullied, but when he fought back, his son got in trouble.
Some schools don't do "anti-bullying" lessons. And I don't consider hitting back to be "ghetto". I consider that self defense. I understand where antredd is coming from. It is a situation of "if you do hit back, if you do retaliate, you get suspended, but if you don't hit back. that bully will keep messing with you". One thing I learned in school was this. Alot of bullies don't understand or care what kind of punishment comes their way. Some of the bullies never get caught for what they do. Many lie their way out of their situation. Sometimes the administrators sees the behavior going on, and do nothing. In fact, antredd just said nothing was being done about his son being bullied, but when he fought back, his son got in trouble.
You are skipping the main point here. The man is a TEACHER and "knock the boy out" is the best he/wife can do? Meanwhile you complain that black people are unfairly seen as being violent? So this solution was acceptable in your view? No need for a PARENT to act like one, and contact the school directly?
Clueless!
You are skipping the main point here. The man is a TEACHER and "knock the boy out" is the best he/wife can do? Meanwhile you complain that black people are unfairly seen as being violent? So this solution was acceptable in your view? No need for a PARENT to act like one, and contact the school directly?
Clueless!
I know many White parents who would tell their own kids "someone hits you, hit them back". I don't call that violent. I call it self defense. A child should never have to resort to self-defense in school. However, if the case ever comes up, then the child should never be penalized for self-defense. Yes, he is a teacher. I also knew a teacher who let me off under "self-defense". Other times I wasn't so lucky. However, there are adults, even White adults, who teach their children "if you get hit, hit back". I went to school with White kids whose parents taught this.
What I mean be violence is this. Unwarranted, unprovoked assault. That is what I mean.
I know many White parents who would tell their own kids "someone hits you, hit them back". I don't call that violent. I call it self defense. A child should never have to resort to self-defense in school. However, if the case ever comes up, then the child should never be penalized for self-defense. Yes, he is a teacher. I also knew a teacher who let me off under "self-defense". Other times I wasn't so lucky. However, there are adults, even White adults, who teach their children "if you get hit, hit back". I went to school with White kids whose parents taught this.
What I mean be violence is this. Unwarranted, unprovoked assault. That is what I mean.
Once again, as a TEACHER he should have called the school and reported that his son was being bullied, directly to the Principal. All of your questionable anecdotal evidence about what white people do has no bearing on that fact.
I would like to hear antredd defend his lapse in judgment.
How ghetto is this! You are a teacher, and the only solution your wife could come up with is to tell your son "he better knock the boy out."???
Why didn't you man up and call the principal yourself?
Doesn't your district do anti-bullying lessons? Didn't your credentialing program teach you anything about prevention of bullying?
I would have been too embarrassed to tell this story on-line. Why did you? No wonder teachers get so little respect from the general public.
Unfreakinbelievable!
How ghetto is this? For you to ASSume that I am ghetto or my wife is ghetto just shows again how black people are damned if we don't and damned if we do when we want to take a stand against being legitimate victims, especially when it comes to protecting our kids. Would you call a white person ghetto or white trash for telling their child to do the same thing?
First of all, you don't know all of the details and I wasn't going to type a whole dissertation about the entire situation, and my wife telling my son to defend himself wasn't our only solution. But here's a mini dissertation .
You seem not to recognize the fact that my son was the victim. My wife did address the issue with the school. She called and asked to speak to the teacher, and no one ever called her back after the problem persisted. After the teacher didn't call her back, my wife called to speak to the principal, and again, the principal didn't call her back either.
You are right about my wife could have gone up to the school to address this issue. But since the principal seemed to be in a meeting every time she called, since my son's teacher did not call her back, and since my son was not wanting to go to school, my wife, being like any mother, wanted our son to feel safe and protected.
So, again when the teacher and the principal from the school didn't call her back, that was when my wife, like any mother would do, told my son to defend himself because obviously no one was seeing this kid hit my son, throwing sand on my son, nor hearing him call my son the N WORD EITHER (there's more to this story too that involves this boy's big brother who also had a problem with my older son. So part of this boy bullying my son was orchestrated by this boy's big brother too. But I won't include all of those related details to keep this from being way too long to read).
It was only when my son was seen hitting the boy back there was a problem. Hummmmmmm? My wife and I never have told our sons to start a fight, but we have taught them to be respectable and follow the rules in the schools and laws. What's so sad too about this whole matter is how you are reacting to it as if I am a person who goes around and wants my sons to beat up kids for no reason.
When the principal did call, he stated how he didn't know that my wife had been trying to contact him about the matter. So I am ASSuming that they didn't think it was a serious matter, or they were avoiding it. I don't know. But my wife let the principal know that these incidents had been going on for a few weeks before she knew about it. Again my son had told us that the boy had been hitting him and calling him the N word, and nothing was done about it when he told the teacher.
So it makes you wonder why didn't the teacher do his or her job to investigate what was going on. Again, my whole point when I was addressing the topic is how black kids seem not to be able to fly under the radar when things happen at school. But this boy hitting and name calling my son seemed to be surely getting away with it.
FYI my wife is a homemaker, she decided to put her six figure career on hold to be at home with our boys until our youngest son entered middle school. She has volunteered at my son's school. She is in no way a person who endorses violence just because any incident would suit it.
In terms of me to man up and call the principal myself, I didn't have to when my wife had already left messages for the principal and teacher with the secretary. So by my wife, who happens to be married to a teacher, telling my son to defend himself is your logic for thinking why teachers get no respect, then you need to take a chill pill and get over your bad experiences that you obviously have had with teachers. Not all teachers are bad as you would want to ASSume, and since you are a teacher too, I guess you think that you are the perfect teacher. Since you want to ASSume also that my wife and I were acting ghetto for us wanting our son to defend and protect himself, maybe your should man up and admit how you really feel about black people.
How ghetto is this? For you to ASSume that I am ghetto or my wife is ghetto just shows again how black people are damned if we don't and damned if we do when we want to take a stand against being legitimate victims, especially when it comes to protecting our kids. Would you call a white person ghetto or white trash for telling their child to do the same thing?
First of all, you don't know all of the details and I wasn't going to type a whole dissertation about the entire situation, and my wife telling my son to defend himself wasn't our only solution. But here's a mini dissertation .
You seem not to recognize the fact that my son was the victim. My wife did address the issue with the school. She called and asked to speak to the teacher, and no one ever called her back after the problem persisted. After the teacher didn't call her back, my wife called to speak to the principal, and again, the principal didn't call her back either.
You are right about my wife could have gone up to the school to address this issue. But since the principal seemed to be in a meeting every time she called, since my son's teacher did not call her back, and since my son was not wanting to go to school, my wife, being like any mother, wanted our son to feel safe and protected.
So, again when the teacher and the principal from the school didn't call her back, that was when my wife, like any mother would do, told my son to defend himself because obviously no one was seeing this kid hit my son, throwing sand on my son, nor hearing him call my son the N WORD EITHER (there's more to this story too that involves this boy's big brother who also had a problem with my older son. So part of this boy bullying my son was orchestrated by this boy's big brother too. But I won't include all of those related details to keep this from being way too long to read).
It was only when my son was seen hitting the boy back there was a problem. Hummmmmmm? My wife and I never have told our sons to start a fight, but we have taught them to be respectable and follow the rules in the schools and laws. What's so sad too about this whole matter is how you are reacting to it as if I am a person who goes around and wants my sons to beat up kids for no reason.
When the principal did call, he stated how he didn't know that my wife had been trying to contact him about the matter. So I am ASSuming that they didn't think it was a serious matter, or they were avoiding it. I don't know. But my wife let the principal know that these incidents had been going on for a few weeks before she knew about it. Again my son had told us that the boy had been hitting him and calling him the N word, and nothing was done about it when he told the teacher.
So it makes you wonder why didn't the teacher do his or her job to investigate what was going on. Again, my whole point when I was addressing the topic is how black kids seem not to be able to fly under the radar when things happen at school. But this boy hitting and name calling my son seemed to be surely getting away with it.
FYI my wife is a homemaker, she decided to put her six figure career on hold to be at home with our boys until our youngest son entered middle school. She has volunteered at my son's school. She is in no way a person who endorses violence just because any incident would suit it.
In terms of me to man up and call the principal myself, I didn't have to when my wife had already left messages for the principal and teacher with the secretary. So by my wife, who happens to be married to a teacher, telling my son to defend himself is your logic for thinking why teachers get no respect, then you need to take a chill pill and get over your bad experiences that you obviously have had with teachers. Not all teachers are bad as you would want to ASSume, and since you are a teacher too, I guess you think that you are the perfect teacher. Since you want to ASSume also that my wife and I were acting ghetto for us wanting our son to defend and protect himself, maybe your should man up and admit how you really feel about black people.
If your wife made repeated efforts to contact the school, why didn't you say so?One extra sentence would not have been much effort. And yeah, I would call this behavior ghetto no matter the color of the person doing it. I don't believe that it is impossible to get in touch with a principal, and every district has an official to contact for complaints. As a teacher, you should know this.
The child of a teacher being told "he better knock the boy out" is appalling and, in this case, reinforced the stereotype of black people being violent! Do you really not see this?
Last edited by Futuremauian; 09-26-2013 at 07:38 AM..
there is only one way to communicate with a bully... and that's with your fist. Calling the school only leads to more lumps when the teacher isn't looking.
I would also ignore the futuremau poster... he/she isn't living in reality.
there is only one way to communicate with a bully... and that's with your fist. Calling the school only leads to more lumps when the teacher isn't looking.
I would also ignore the futuremau poster... he/she isn't living in reality.
Bullies don't understand consequences or punishment. I should know because I've been around it. I've been around kids who didn't care if they got in trouble or not. The only thing bullies understand is physical force and violence. It is like a watered down version of "live by the sword, die by the sword", and in some cases a full version of it.
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and the only solution your wife could come up with is to tell your son "he better knock the boy out."???
Didn't your credentialing program teach you anything about prevention of bullying?
Why did you? No wonder teachers get so little respect from the general public.
.
Do you really not see this?