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If a man was basically a sperm Donor with a married woman and she has a child, man never sees child but later finds he has a Genetic problem that could give the child problems all its life. Child thinks womans Husband is their father.
If said man cares enough to want to inform the child of the genetic condition, he should care enough not to want to burst the child's bubble about paternity if the child's mother is living and has chosen not to broach the issue. Said man should inform the child's mother and let her decide what to do from there. It may not be 100% certain the kid will inherit or transmit the man's condition, but this other news is guaranteed to cause distress.
Even if what this man really wants is to identify himself to his biological child, he should go to the mom with this first if possible. He's waited this long to speak up, so if he is to do so, the right thing would be to do it with consideration for all involved.
Last edited by aprimitive; 09-08-2013 at 08:22 PM..
Thats why they have genome mapping and DNA testing now.
Said father could be genetically predisposed to heart disease, I would say let that lie. Now if there is a 80% chance they'll have als or some other genetic disease maybe thats different.
Well mans Uncle, Mom and one Brother has this problem, this is out of ten Kids in the family. So real Good chance Child didn't have this problem.
Not sure where Childs Mom or Child is. Last known about 100 miles away.
brushrunner
Then I would leave it alone. If the problem will/has develop/ed, it will/has develop/ed. If it the condition might possibly be avoided by lifestyle choices, many people who know they are predisposed to such a condition don't change their habits anyway. Again, said man's well-intentioned gesture may not save any trouble but would almost certainly cause some.
If said man isn't sure of the whereabouts of either the mom or the child, finding one would probably be no more difficult than finding the other so I still say the mom would be the one to try to contact. I wish said man peace with his decision.
Is there actually anything said child could do to avoid the problem, or lessen the risk? If the answer is no, I see no point in contacting the child. If it is a serious problem, that can potentially be averted with treatment and/or lifestyle choices, then that is a weighty argument for letting the child know. Even if many people do not change their lifestyle in the face of such information, some do, and the choice belongs to them.
The man should also examine his own motives and make sure that the childs welfare is his only motive.
What is meant by "basically" a sperm donor? Was this a formal process in a medical setting, with a legal agreement to surrender parental rights? If so, and if knowing about the genetic predisposition could actually help, then the child's mother or the facility that arranged the donation should be contacted.
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