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Old 09-19-2013, 01:50 PM
 
9,855 posts, read 15,182,463 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by le roi View Post
so then, if what you're saying is true --- if men do it purely for the sense of accomplishment, and not to impress women --- then being good at video games should be perfectly sufficient to make a person happy and successful.
Having a sense of personal accomplishment and personal pride in your work has nothing to do with the opposite sex and being good at video games IS enough for some people to be happy.

Do you listen to yourself when you talk? Men aren't some low-esteem, nervous wrecks that need the validation of a woman to feel worthwhile. You seem to live in stereotypes read from a cosmo magazine.
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Old 09-19-2013, 01:52 PM
 
13,507 posts, read 16,997,994 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hedgehog_Mom View Post
There was an article in Cosmo this month about women being more ambitious than men, and what impact it had on their relationships. It was an interesting read.

I don't see a real problem with video games and other diversions during leisure time, though. As long as a person can get everything done which they need to do, who cares how they spend their free time?

I don't have a lot of respect for women who go around bragging that they make more than their husband...my sister is always going on about how she makes 70 percent of the income in their house (well, 100 percent since her hubby got downsized). If she were more supportive of her husband and more encouraging of his abilities, he would do better.

I think people playing multiple hours of video games, online porn, fantasy football, etc are definitiely problems with many young men. No real human interaction, finite "solvable" problems that don't really resemble what you deal with in real life, ie, get the 4 keys and unlock the next door, woman willing to use 8 different positions in one encounter, etc..life doesn't really work in the ways that any of these things train you to behave. So, any of them in moderation, ok..but hours and hours glued to screens in a fantasy world...not so sure.
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Old 09-19-2013, 01:54 PM
 
22,768 posts, read 30,673,674 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hnsq View Post
Men aren't some low-esteem, nervous wrecks that need the validation of a woman to feel worthwhile.
who said anything about validation ?

(normal, heterosexual) men impress women to get laid. it's in our god damned DNA, it's how our species survives. It persists in spite of your constant denial, and it even persists as a behavioral pattern when it is no longer rational behavior (like when we get married, or when we grow old.).
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Old 09-19-2013, 02:10 PM
 
Location: Itinerant
8,278 posts, read 6,256,657 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PullMyFinger View Post
I've noticed this about the younger generation (under 30). The young women seem to be more ambitious and goal driven.

Video games, fantasy football among other distractions IMO are derailing men early in their life from where they should be trying to get to.
You forgot about porn too...

Quote:
Originally Posted by PullMyFinger View Post
My daughter and her husband I think are great examples. They both have the same degree, they are the same age (28) but she has passed him up careerwise.

She doesn't play video games, doesn't care about sports. She spends more time networking and I think human relationships are much more important to her. He's a great guy but spends a lot of time playing games and other nonsense.

Can Video games and fantasy sports be speeding up a possible future of female leadership?
On videogames, 58% of Americans play Videogames, 45% of this market are women, so around 25% of all women play videogames of some sort compared to 37% of all men so for sake of argument 1 in 4 women compared to 1 in 3 men, it's not a big difference overall (source:The Entertainment Software Association - Game Player Data). The fastest growing demographic of the videogame market is women, so if this is the cause, it's going to slow down pretty fast and return to nominal.

On why she's ahead in her career, could be a multitude of things, none of which are related to outside interests. Company dynamics or intrinsics could also play a part, if he is working at a company with better retention, there may be less opportunity for advancement, if she is more driven and ambitious this could also be the cause.

Why is there an expectation that he should be further advanced in his career anyway is an interesting question. Why should there be any cause for why he isn't ahead that's tied to outside of work activities? More pertinently why are you so quick to accuse something of something negative than have pride in your own daughters achievements? Because that's the logical conclusion you're drawing, your daughter hasn't exceeded your son in law, but your son in law has been restrained because of these interests you call 'nonsense'.

There are perhaps millions of activities I consider "nonsense", I just don't get them. But those activities don't make me consider that someone is not as far ahead in their career as I perceive they should be because of those activities.
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Old 09-19-2013, 02:14 PM
 
Location: Washington, DC
4,321 posts, read 5,122,679 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by le roi View Post
And where, exactly, should this younger generation of men be trying to get?

It's been shown that whenever women enter a male-dominated field, the men drop out. Men clearly see no point in competing with women, and that's not just my opinion, that's an observable trend in social science.

It raises the question: why do men compete at all? what in the hell are men competing for, exactly?

And, in my opinion , the answer is obvious: men try to impress women. As women's earnings rise, "impressing women with your job" becomes far more trouble than it's worth.

Men are switching mating strategies, they are hitting the gym, working on how they look, because women no longer demand that we "bring home the bacon." If women will sleep with you because they like how you look, then what's the point of working hard?
There's a lot of truth in this. I'll add that men realize that multiplying is no longer what mankind needs, while women still give in to their primitive reproductive instincts. Demoralized or not, men are way ahead of women in recognizing the changed world.

Also men are less materialistic, most men can be content with basic middle class stuff, women more times than not want to seperate themselves from others based on wealth and material possessions.
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Old 09-19-2013, 02:20 PM
 
Location: The D-M-V area
13,691 posts, read 18,408,219 times
Reputation: 9595
This is an interesting video. Touches on the subject going back before they become adults.

Philip Zimbardo: The demise of guys?


Spoiler
My 77 year old mother plays videogames regularly, she's been an avid gamer for over 15 years.
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Old 09-19-2013, 02:25 PM
 
22,768 posts, read 30,673,674 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Back to NE View Post
There's a lot of truth in this. I'll add that men realize that multiplying is no longer what mankind needs, while women still give in to their primitive reproductive instincts. Demoralized or not, men are way ahead of women in recognizing the changed world.

Also men are less materialistic, most men can be content with basic middle class stuff, women more times than not want to seperate themselves from others based on wealth and material possessions.
I agree with everything except the bolded. I'm on the fence about that particular line.

However, the following is an article I read a while back that has stuck with me as a brilliant explanation of what's going on in the world for young people. The article is long , but I've cut-and-pasted the sections I think are most important:

Quote:
The Last Psychiatrist: No Self-Respecting Woman Would Go Out Without Make Up

if some field keeps the trappings of power but loses actual power, women enter it in droves and men abandon it like the Roanoke Colony. Again we must ask the question: if power seeking men aren't running for Senate, where did they go? Meanwhile all the lobbyists and Wall Street bankers are men, isn't that odd?

....

This is part of a larger, systemic problem with the way power has shifted not from Group A to Group B, but from ground up to top down, and top down works in a very specific way: it concedes the trappings of power while it retains the actual power.

....

In this case, you are seeing a shift of power be repackaged as a gender battle. And it's quite apparent that power is a generation or so ahead of you, so in 1990 a 40 year old who grew up around successful lawyers then says to his 5 year old, "daughter, you should become a lawyer!" and she probably at one point collaborates to decry the lack of female role models, and then by the time she graduates law school she discovers she's a dime a dozen, power has been withdrawn, one step ahead; and at this rate I fully expect 2013's Aspirational 14% to nudge their 5 year old daughters towards investment banking so they can be part of the big Women In Investment Banking conference of 2033. Don't bother, it'll be in Newark.

I can't predict the next field of power, I'm happy to hear your projections, the point for now is that while power moves ahead of you and your family, it leaves behind the appearance of a gender (or racial) struggle; and the immediate result of this is that people consider it a societal achievement that they are merely playing, even if what they are doing is ultimately meaningless. So while women (appropriately) fought for, and got, equal access to college educations-- and now women even outnumber men in colleges-- today we find that college is irrelevant.
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Old 09-19-2013, 02:27 PM
 
25,805 posts, read 16,456,078 times
Reputation: 15996
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gungnir View Post
You forgot about porn too...



On videogames, 58% of Americans play Videogames, 45% of this market are women, so around 25% of all women play videogames of some sort compared to 37% of all men so for sake of argument 1 in 4 women compared to 1 in 3 men, it's not a big difference overall (source:The Entertainment Software Association - Game Player Data). The fastest growing demographic of the videogame market is women, so if this is the cause, it's going to slow down pretty fast and return to nominal.

On why she's ahead in her career, could be a multitude of things, none of which are related to outside interests. Company dynamics or intrinsics could also play a part, if he is working at a company with better retention, there may be less opportunity for advancement, if she is more driven and ambitious this could also be the cause.

Why is there an expectation that he should be further advanced in his career anyway is an interesting question. Why should there be any cause for why he isn't ahead that's tied to outside of work activities? More pertinently why are you so quick to accuse something of something negative than have pride in your own daughters achievements? Because that's the logical conclusion you're drawing, your daughter hasn't exceeded your son in law, but your son in law has been restrained because of these interests you call 'nonsense'.

There are perhaps millions of activities I consider "nonsense", I just don't get them. But those activities don't make me consider that someone is not as far ahead in their career as I perceive they should be because of those activities.
Wow, I had no idea that many women play video games. I personally, have never met an adult woman who admits to playing video games.

I worked a lot of hours in my twenties because my wife stayed home with the kids. I had 4 kids before I was 30 years old. Sure I had some fun, would go golfing with some friends occasionally, but hardly sitting in a basement staring at a video screen for hours on end.

I think it's a problem for young men. They are lacking in the social skills that the young women have and you can see it. I can see it in my company. The young women blow the men their age away.

I have no scientific evidence, this is just me and my theory. What has changed in the last 20 years? Video games jumps out and they are mostly played by young men.
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Old 09-19-2013, 02:33 PM
 
22,768 posts, read 30,673,674 times
Reputation: 14737
Quote:
Originally Posted by LuckyGem View Post
This is an interesting video. Touches on the subject going back before they become adults.

Philip Zimbardo: The demise of guys?


Spoiler
My 77 year old mother plays videogames regularly, she's been an avid gamer for over 15 years.
You know, I'm going to watch this and give it a shot...


but as soon as I saw the words "TED", I thought, "This is going to be some man-hating bullsh*t"


But like I say, I'll watch it anyway.


edit: So having watched it --- I feel I was pretty much correct. He strikes me as out-of-touch, and telling this audience what they want to hear. He's not wrong, he's just overreaching, attempting to explain a very complex issue by only focusing on a few small variables.
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Old 09-19-2013, 03:12 PM
 
25,805 posts, read 16,456,078 times
Reputation: 15996
Quote:
Originally Posted by le roi View Post
You know, I'm going to watch this and give it a shot...


but as soon as I saw the words "TED", I thought, "This is going to be some man-hating bullsh*t"


But like I say, I'll watch it anyway.


edit: So having watched it --- I feel I was pretty much correct. He strikes me as out-of-touch, and telling this audience what they want to hear. He's not wrong, he's just overreaching, attempting to explain a very complex issue by only focusing on a few small variables.
I disagree, I think he's right on the money. Just yesterday I went to a safety meeting at work, was talking to some of the older guys that I've worked with for close to 30 years. A bunch of young guys were waiting out in the hallway with us, every single one of them was staring at their smart phone and not talking to each other at all. It was really creepy to me. A good looking young girl walks by, me and the other old farts are checking her out and just being guys, not one of those kids even looked at her. They are in their own little worlds.

I don't know where this is heading but I would venture to say it's heading towards a female dominated society and maybe that's a good thing.
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