Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
This is in regards to the Jameis Winston FSU story, but you also see this in politics as well.
If you were sexually assaulted and you had the detective telling you not to pursue the case because your life would be made a living hell, would you go through with it or let it go?
We hear about these cases all the time, how the accuser doesnt want to press charges, etc. so I assume some at last half would let it go under the pressure? Am I wrong?
This is in regards to the Jameis Winston FSU story, but you also see this in politics as well.
If you were sexually assaulted and you had the detective telling you not to pursue the case because your life would be made a living hell, would you go through with it or let it go?
We hear about these cases all the time, how the accuser doesnt want to press charges, etc. so I assume some at last half would let it go under the pressure? Am I wrong?
Screw that. I'd take it all the way & the guy would wish he had never laid eyes on me.
Oy. Women have been intimidated into covering up sexual assault for centuries. More women are afraid to report sexual assault than actually do report it, according to most studies. This is a given for women. Just another day in the life.
When I was 17 years old, I was told by the police not to pursue justice for a rape. There was no money involved - the perpetrator was a fairly average teenage boy whose family had no clout, wealth, or influence. This is the example I use when people claim "rape culture" doesn't exist. I wasn't accusing the town judges' son or a champion football player, nor was I the type of teenager that people would have ever called a "****" or had any kind of reputation other than that of sort of a nerd. And yet when I reported it, I was told that since I had previously dated my attacker, I could not have possibly been raped. Forget that I lost my virginity to the rape. Forget that I later ended up pregnant (and miscarried) in the middle of applying to some of the best colleges in the country. Women are CONSISTENTLY made to feel like we're the ones who brought it upon ourselves, no matter what the circumstances were.
What I know now as an adult that I didn't know then is that my life would be a living hell either way. Either it would be hell going through a vicious court trial where I would be blamed for my own rape, or I would have to live with my violation in silence without getting any kind of closure. At 17, I went with the latter, because I knew that I would be blamed due to the culture where I grew up (the rural south). Today, I would likely pursue.
Is rape education taught in schools yet? It certainly was not at mine, but then again, neither was information about contraception and safe sex. So many heartaches could have been prevented if we were told during health class what to do if we were raped. I didn't know not to take a shower and didn't bundle my clothes. My first instinct, like many, was to shower off the experience and toss my clothes in the laundry. I didn't learn what to do until I started watching Law and Order: SVU.
We've had many threads here on P&OC in which dozens of male posters insist that all men naturally know that rape is bad, so no such education is needed. They laugh and poke fun at women who, oddly enough, don't find this comforting. They hoot and holler and deflect from the obvious by laughing at "libruls" who think you can stop a rape (which are all committed by criminals with knives, leaping out of dark alleys, don't you know) by just saying "Don't rape me."
Sometimes they turn it into a gun thread.
If you cite data showing that most victims are assaulted by someone they know, therefore, it's not criminals jumping out of dark alleys to commit assault, but ordinary people who assault friends, neighbors and family members -- men who might actually have needed said education -- they'll ignore it while calling you names.
Then if you ask them why we have any rapes at all, if men "just know" not to rape, they call you more names.
Wait until they arrive here on this one. The victim is about to be re-victimized, here on P&OC, at least. These posters will completely deny the verifiable, everyday fact that women are victimized more often than not for reporting sexual assault. They'll do this for page after page.
It will be really, really depressing. Trust me. BTDT on this forum.
We hear about these cases all the time, how the accuser doesnt want to press charges, etc. so I assume some at last half would let it go under the pressure? Am I wrong?
That's usually because they've been intimidated by men. Or made to feel guilty, by men, for being a victim.
Thankfully I have grown-***, REAL men as my family and friends who would support me come hell or high water. Right into the witness box if need be. They'd be the first one to tell whoever was waving the money around to go pound sand.
Location: Just transplanted to FL from the N GA mountains
3,997 posts, read 4,141,865 times
Reputation: 2677
Quote:
Originally Posted by charolastra00
When I was 17 years old, I was told by the police not to pursue justice for a rape. There was no money involved - the perpetrator was a fairly average teenage boy whose family had no clout, wealth, or influence. This is the example I use when people claim "rape culture" doesn't exist. I wasn't accusing the town judges' son or a champion football player, nor was I the type of teenager that people would have ever called a "****" or had any kind of reputation other than that of sort of a nerd. And yet when I reported it, I was told that since I had previously dated my attacker, I could not have possibly been raped. Forget that I lost my virginity to the rape. Forget that I later ended up pregnant (and miscarried) in the middle of applying to some of the best colleges in the country. Women are CONSISTENTLY made to feel like we're the ones who brought it upon ourselves, no matter what the circumstances were.
What I know now as an adult that I didn't know then is that my life would be a living hell either way. Either it would be hell going through a vicious court trial where I would be blamed for my own rape, or I would have to live with my violation in silence without getting any kind of closure. At 17, I went with the latter, because I knew that I would be blamed due to the culture where I grew up (the rural south). Today, I would likely pursue.
Is rape education taught in schools yet? It certainly was not at mine, but then again, neither was information about contraception and safe sex. So many heartaches could have been prevented if we were told during health class what to do if we were raped. I didn't know not to take a shower and didn't bundle my clothes. My first instinct, like many, was to shower off the experience and toss my clothes in the laundry. I didn't learn what to do until I started watching Law and Order: SVU.
I'm so very sorry for what you had to go through...
I wouldn't cover it up for anything. I'd be afraid that it would happen again to some other woman if I kept my mouth shut. And no amount of money is worth it...
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
