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I obviously know that "normal" is a highly subjective word, and I appreciate everyone's uniqueness. But it seems to me that the gay world is rarely represented my everyday folk, outside of possibly regarding the marriage debate. From my experience, being gay seems to be heavily involved with either an underground hookup culture and instant gratification. Or it involves people who insist all gay people reject traditional notions of masculinity and femininity. Anybody that doesn't, according to them, is in denial (i.e. a gay guy who likes football, beer, and guns, is self-hating and needs to discover his inner princess.)
Obviously, not all (and probably not even that many) gay people are like this. But many of the ones in power are. Doesn't that make it difficult for the "normal" gay people who would otherwise want to live honestly and openly? Or for those who would otherwise accept gay people, but are a little put off by some of the loudest behaviors?
Note: I am not suggesting that anybody be anything other than themselves. If you're more masculine or feminine, that is okay. :-)
Who are the gay people in power that you are referring to?
Ellen? Anderson Cooper? Elton John (married with 2 kids)
Simon Halls & Stephen Huvane Founders, Slate PR,
Megan Smith Google Executive/Inventor,
Robert Hanson CEO, American Eagle Outfitters
Clive Davis Sony Music Executive
Evan Wolfson Founder and President, Freedom to Marry,
Mary Kay Henry International President, SEIU
Annise Parker Mayor of Houston
Jann Wenner Publishing Magnate
Jeremy Bernard White House Social Secretary
Ken Mehlman Businessman, Political Strategist
Kevin McClatchy Newspaper Chain Chairman
Bryan Lourd & Kevin Huvane Managing Partners, CAA
Suze Orman TV Host/Author/Financial Advisor/Entrepreneur
Tim Gill Software Pioneer/Philanthropist
Chuck Wolfe CEO, The Victory Fund
David Geffen Media Mogul
Matt Drudge Drudge Report Creator/Editor
Christine Quinn New York City Council Speaker
Marc Jacobs Fashion Designer/Creative Director
Martha Nelson Editor in Chief, Time Inc.
Mark Takano | David Cicilline | Jared Polis Congressmen
Neil Patrick Harris Actor
Barry Diller Chairman and Senior Executive, IAC/InterActiveCorp
Chris Hughes Publisher and Editor in Chief, The New Republic
Tammy Baldwin Senator
Shepard Smith News Anchor
Peter Thiel Venure Capitalist
Nate Silver Statistics Guru
Ryan Murphy Writer/Director/Producer
Tim Cook CEO, Apple
These are all homosexuals in power positions.
If people only see the "stereotype" Gay person, maybe that's because those are the ones that stand out, or the ones that people notice. The rest of us are just going about our lives.
Why is it considered acceptable for threads to be based entirely on false stereotypes of entire groups of people?
I know lots of gays and lesbians, some of them in positions of power, some of them just regular people going about their lives, and as far as I can tell they are all what anyone with any sense would call "normal".
Why is it considered acceptable for threads to be based entirely on false stereotypes of entire groups of people?
I know lots of gays and lesbians, some of them in positions of power, some of them just regular people going about their lives, and as far as I can tell they are all what anyone with any sense would call "normal".
Come to think of it, out of all of my gay friends, only 1 or 2 fit the stereotype image, but they are both young still in the party phase of life. In reality they are "normal" for their age. They act like any other 20 something college kid, out drinking, and playing.
Come to think of it, out of all of my gay friends, only 1 or 2 fit the stereotype image, but they are both young still in the party phase of life. In reality they are "normal" for their age. They act like any other 20 something college kid, out drinking, and playing.
jjrose, I'm not sure you entirely understood my point, especially since there are lots of anti-gay types that populate CD and spread vicious lies and rumors about LGBT folk.
I don't think that most LGBT people aren't normal; quite the contrary, in fact. I might make a comparison to the African-American community. There are a lot of people on CD, for example, who think that Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton represent the black community's views. We all know that isn't true. The same analogy could be drawn with Dan Savage, for example, speaking for the entire gay community. But the key difference is that for young black people, they've had this identity since birth, their families are part of the African-American community, and they're able to navigate any negative feelings based on the support they receive. But most gay people don't have that. So, let's say you take a friendly, popular high school linebacker who has no problems attracting girls, coming to terms with him likes guys. As he attempts to understand himself, what is he going to see? Probably a bunch of anonymous sex and loud voices telling him that he's too heteronormative. Is that going to help him? Obviously not - he might choose to stay in denial, date girls, maybe even get married and have kids. Maybe he'll believe these voices and make destructive choices. Maybe he'll become depressed. None of these are good.
The problem I'm saying is that this hypothetical linebacker needs to feel comfortable with being himself. My guess is many straight people will become more supportive of LGBT folk if they're true to themselves. Unfortunately, I'm seeing a lot of destructive tendencies in the gay community, and I think it does a disservice to all of those who are trying to come to terms with their sexuality.
jjrose, I'm not sure you entirely understood my point, especially since there are lots of anti-gay types that populate CD and spread vicious lies and rumors about LGBT folk.
I don't think that most LGBT people aren't normal; quite the contrary, in fact. I might make a comparison to the African-American community. There are a lot of people on CD, for example, who think that Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton represent the black community's views. We all know that isn't true. The same analogy could be drawn with Dan Savage, for example, speaking for the entire gay community. But the key difference is that for young black people, they've had this identity since birth, their families are part of the African-American community, and they're able to navigate any negative feelings based on the support they receive. But most gay people don't have that. So, let's say you take a friendly, popular high school linebacker who has no problems attracting girls, coming to terms with him likes guys. As he attempts to understand himself, what is he going to see? Probably a bunch of anonymous sex and loud voices telling him that he's too heteronormative. Is that going to help him? Obviously not - he might choose to stay in denial, date girls, maybe even get married and have kids. Maybe he'll believe these voices and make destructive choices. Maybe he'll become depressed. None of these are good.
The problem I'm saying is that this hypothetical linebacker needs to feel comfortable with being himself. My guess is many straight people will become more supportive of LGBT folk if they're true to themselves. Unfortunately, I'm seeing a lot of destructive tendencies in the gay community, and I think it does a disservice to all of those who are trying to come to terms with their sexuality.
No, most people would search their own areas for support. Even podunk Mississippi has a LGBT group that meets monthly, and a PFLAG group. Anyone can read or listen to someone talk, but if what they say doesn't fit what you feel, you keep looking. You don't just say "this guy is gay, so I have to act like he acts or do what he does".
There are destructive people in every group. We all do what we can to show another option. As I have pointed out there are many many good examples of how gay people live. Why are you concentrating on the bad examples? We can not silence them. They have 1st amendment rights too.
Then look at the Robin Roberts example. She simply thanked her long time girlfriend on her facebook page, and it turned into her "forcing her sex life on everyone". "normal" gays people are everywhere, we simply don't get noticed. Look at churches. Which ones get the most attention? WBC, not the local church that is feeding people everyday. Look at blacks. Which ones are noticed? The ones causing trouble, not the 13 year old in Florida that recently invented a new surgical procedure. Look at ANY group. the ones that get the attention in the media are the ones that stand out from the norm. Why would the media highlight me? What would make me popular? Living my life, raising my children, volunteering in my community? OR saying something crazy or acting like an idiot? "Normal" doesn't get attention or sell papers.
So, yes we are here. We are working in our communities. You simply don't see us because we are just like everyone else.
I've never heard Dan Savage claim to speak for the entire gay community.
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