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Please don't get sidetracked by arguing about Facebook or Christianity or liberal vs conservative - the bigger question in this true story is this - "Why isn't tolerance enough for some people?" It seems that for many people, the idea of "tolerance" itself is offensive - which often translates into a marked lack of tolerance on THEIR part.
I have a very liberal cousin - I mean VERY liberal, about as liberal as a person can get. She is also an atheist. I am a libertarian and a Christian. We both know these things about each other.
My attitude is "blood is thicker than water." Also, I don't seek out what DIFFERENTIATES me from other people - one of my personality traits is that I am good at finding common ground with people and building good relationships based on mutual respect and appreciation, with people who often differ remarkably from me, because I prefer to focus on what we have in common than on how we differ.
Apparently my uber liberal cousin doesn't feel the same. By the way, this is the same cousin who I made a special trip just a few weeks ago to see (involving a 7 hour drive), took her out to dinner, etc etc. Though we have drifted apart as adults, we were very close as kids. During my visit to see her, we got along well and avoided all controversial topics, instead focusing on our mutual appreciation for art, decorating, cooking, etc.
I have a pretty active Facebook account (with privacy settings set very high) with a smallish number of friends on it. My military family and background means that my immediate family and friends are spread out across the world, so FB is a great way for us to stay connected. I don't use FB for political purposes, or to preach at people, or proselytize in any way - I use it to share family photos, news, ideas, recipes, funny videos, that sort of thing, mostly with my immediate family and close friends. I avoid political and religious topics because my friends and family are so diverse.
My daughter posted a link about a proposed statue of Satan that a group wants to erect somewhere in Oklahoma. One of her friends posted a remark that was obviously conservative in nature, but stated very well, and very respectfully. I "liked" their comment, and actually sent that person (a stranger to me) a private message saying that I agreed with SOME of what they had stated, and that I appreciated their approach, which was very well informed and polite.
Well. My cousin saw that my daughter and I had "liked" that comment, and she immediately tore off into a public diatribe at both of us, telling us in a very aggressive, pretty arrogant manner that she was so shocked at our intolerance and that we would actually "like" such a comment, that she just couldn't have anything to do with either of us anymore - our values were so obviously different, yada yada yada. Then she unfriended both of us! What the heck!
I messaged her, with a friend request, and I reminded her that though she knows I am a Christian, she constantly posts anti Christian articles and opinions on her FB page and never once seems concerned that she might be offending me, or anyone else. She constantly posts political opinions, links, etc as well as all sorts of negative stuff about the oil and gas industry - even though she knows my husband works in that industry (and by the way, he is much more well informed than she is).
I have been tolerant of her differing opinions for years, never calling her out or arguing with her publicly (though I have private messaged her a time or two to correct her on misinformation about oil and gas).
I finished the request by telling her that in spite of our differences, I love her and appreciate having her in my life, and while I won't push myself on her, I can't imagine cutting her off in this manner over some ideological concepts.
She wrote me back a message, starting with "YOU MUST CHANGE" but the minute I clicked on it, it disappeared - apparently she reconsidered that message. After about a week, she wrote me a one liner - "I have to get my thoughts together before I respond to you." Oh, brother. I can't wait. Not.
Now - I think that people of all sorts of "labels" can be this intolerant - not just liberals, or atheists, or conservatives, or fundamentalist Christians, etc etc.
You know what - tolerance isn't enough apparently for some people. It's not enough to be gracious, polite, kind, or respectful of the opinions of others. Nope. With some people, the only thing they can stomach is that you CHANGE YOUR OPINION OR PHILOSOPHY OR RELIGIOUS VIEWS and nothing less will do.
The hypocrisy amazes me.
Anyone else experience anything similar or run across this mindset lately?
Last edited by KathrynAragon; 01-15-2014 at 02:51 PM..
Please don't get sidetracked by arguing about Facebook or Christianity or liberal vs conservative - the bigger question in this true story is this - "Why isn't tolerance enough for some people?" It seems that for many people, the idea of "tolerance" itself is offensive - which often translates into a marked lack of tolerance on THEIR part.
I have a very liberal cousin - I mean VERY liberal, about as liberal as a person can get. She is also an atheist. I am a libertarian and a Christian. We both know these things about each other.
My attitude is "blood is thicker than water." Also, I don't seek out what DIFFERENTIATES me from other people - one of my personality traits is that I am good at finding common ground with people and building good relationships based on mutual respect and appreciation, with people who often differ remarkably from me, because I prefer to focus on what we have in common than on how we differ.
Apparently my uber liberal cousin doesn't feel the same. By the way, this is the same cousin who I made a special trip just a few weeks ago to see (involving a 7 hour drive), took her out to dinner, etc etc. Though we have drifted apart as adults, we were very close as kids. During my visit to see her, we got along well and avoided all controversial topics, instead focusing on our mutual appreciation for art, decorating, cooking, etc.
I have a pretty active Facebook account (with privacy settings set very high) with a smallish number of friends on it. My military family and background means that my immediate family and friends are spread out across the world, so FB is a great way for us to stay connected. I don't use FB for political purposes, or to preach at people, or proselytize in any way - I use it to share family photos, news, ideas, recipes, funny videos, that sort of thing, mostly with my immediate family and close friends. I avoid political and religious topics because my friends and family are so diverse.
My daughter posted a link about a proposed statue of Satan that a group wants to erect somewhere in Oklahoma. One of her friends posted a remark that was obviously conservative in nature, but stated very well, and very respectfully. I "liked" their comment, and actually sent that person (a stranger to me) a private message saying that I agreed with SOME of what they had stated, and that I appreciated their approach, which was very well informed and polite.
Well. My cousin saw that my daughter and I had "liked" that comment, and she immediately tore off into a public diatribe at both of us, telling us in a very aggressive, pretty arrogant manner that she was so shocked at our intolerance and that we would actually "like" such a comment, that she just couldn't have anything to do with either of us anymore - our values were so obviously different, yada yada yada. Then she unfriended both of us! What the heck!
I messaged her, with a friend request, and I reminded her that though she knows I am a Christian, she constantly posts anti Christian articles and opinions on her FB page and never once seems concerned that she might be offending me, or anyone else. She constantly posts political opinions, links, etc as well as all sorts of negative stuff about the oil and gas industry - even though she knows my husband works in that industry (and by the way, he is much more well informed than she is).
I have been tolerant of her differing opinions for years, never calling her out or arguing with her publicly (though I have private messaged her a time or two to correct her on misinformation about oil and gas).
I finished the request by telling her that in spite of our differences, I love her and appreciate having her in my life, and while I won't push myself on her, I can't imagine cutting her off in this manner over some ideological concepts.
She wrote me back a message, starting with "YOU MUST CHANGE" but the minute I clicked on it, it disappeared - apparently she reconsidered that message. After about a week, she wrote me a one liner - "I have to get my thoughts together before I respond to you." Oh, brother. I can't wait. Not.
Now - I think that people of all sorts of "labels" can be this intolerant - not just liberals, or atheists, or conservatives, or fundamentalist Christians, etc etc.
You know what - tolerance isn't enough apparently for some people. It's not enough to be gracious, polite, kind, or respectful of the opinions of others. Nope. With some people, the only thing they can stomach is that you CHANGE YOUR OPINION OR PHILOSOPHY OR RELIGIOUS VIEWS and nothing less will do.
The hypocrisy amazes me.
Anyone else experience anything similar or run across this mindset lately?
My goodness, yes! I can very much relate to this. I had a too liberal friend posting political message after political message after political message on Facebook. Only her view was ok. Anyone who had a different view was considered a bad person. She posted a lot of anti-Christian things and was shocked when her Christian friends responded negatively. She has even stated that she wants acceptance, not tolerance. The thing is, she is not accepting or even tolerant of views that differ from her own. The hypocrisy of it all was killing me.
I'm a liberal and I am friends with family members on Facebook. They have different opinions...very different. Some of my FB friends have insulted them before and I don't stand for that. I don't post opinions or articles on my wall so people can use it as a forum to score points. People need to be civil. I've deleted timeline postings that have gotten out of hand.
Please don't get sidetracked by arguing about Facebook or Christianity or liberal vs conservative - the bigger question in this true story is this - "Why isn't tolerance enough for some people?" It seems that for many people, the idea of "tolerance" itself is offensive - which often translates into a marked lack of tolerance on THEIR part.
I have a very liberal cousin - I mean VERY liberal, about as liberal as a person can get. She is also an atheist. I am a libertarian and a Christian. We both know these things about each other.
My attitude is "blood is thicker than water." Also, I don't seek out what DIFFERENTIATES me from other people - one of my personality traits is that I am good at finding common ground with people and building good relationships based on mutual respect and appreciation, with people who often differ remarkably from me, because I prefer to focus on what we have in common than on how we differ.
Apparently my uber liberal cousin doesn't feel the same. By the way, this is the same cousin who I made a special trip just a few weeks ago to see (involving a 7 hour drive), took her out to dinner, etc etc. Though we have drifted apart as adults, we were very close as kids. During my visit to see her, we got along well and avoided all controversial topics, instead focusing on our mutual appreciation for art, decorating, cooking, etc.
I have a pretty active Facebook account (with privacy settings set very high) with a smallish number of friends on it. My military family and background means that my immediate family and friends are spread out across the world, so FB is a great way for us to stay connected. I don't use FB for political purposes, or to preach at people, or proselytize in any way - I use it to share family photos, news, ideas, recipes, funny videos, that sort of thing, mostly with my immediate family and close friends. I avoid political and religious topics because my friends and family are so diverse.
My daughter posted a link about a proposed statue of Satan that a group wants to erect somewhere in Oklahoma. One of her friends posted a remark that was obviously conservative in nature, but stated very well, and very respectfully. I "liked" their comment, and actually sent that person (a stranger to me) a private message saying that I agreed with SOME of what they had stated, and that I appreciated their approach, which was very well informed and polite.
Well. My cousin saw that my daughter and I had "liked" that comment, and she immediately tore off into a public diatribe at both of us, telling us in a very aggressive, pretty arrogant manner that she was so shocked at our intolerance and that we would actually "like" such a comment, that she just couldn't have anything to do with either of us anymore - our values were so obviously different, yada yada yada. Then she unfriended both of us! What the heck!
I messaged her, with a friend request, and I reminded her that though she knows I am a Christian, she constantly posts anti Christian articles and opinions on her FB page and never once seems concerned that she might be offending me, or anyone else. She constantly posts political opinions, links, etc as well as all sorts of negative stuff about the oil and gas industry - even though she knows my husband works in that industry (and by the way, he is much more well informed than she is).
I have been tolerant of her differing opinions for years, never calling her out or arguing with her publicly (though I have private messaged her a time or two to correct her on misinformation about oil and gas).
I finished the request by telling her that in spite of our differences, I love her and appreciate having her in my life, and while I won't push myself on her, I can't imagine cutting her off in this manner over some ideological concepts.
She wrote me back a message, starting with "YOU MUST CHANGE" but the minute I clicked on it, it disappeared - apparently she reconsidered that message. After about a week, she wrote me a one liner - "I have to get my thoughts together before I respond to you." Oh, brother. I can't wait. Not.
Now - I think that people of all sorts of "labels" can be this intolerant - not just liberals, or atheists, or conservatives, or fundamentalist Christians, etc etc.
You know what - tolerance isn't enough apparently for some people. It's not enough to be gracious, polite, kind, or respectful of the opinions of others. Nope. With some people, the only thing they can stomach is that you CHANGE YOUR OPINION OR PHILOSOPHY OR RELIGIOUS VIEWS and nothing less will do.
The hypocrisy amazes me.
Anyone else experience anything similar or run across this mindset lately?
I have experienced this exact thing you are describing from a few of my liberal friends. They unfriended me in a heartbeat because I disagreed with them on something. I am not trying to bash their "liberal" mindset because I have a couple of very liberal friends that I talk to about all sorts of political and social things and we agree on things and disagree on others, no harm no foul, but all who have done what you are describing were ultra liberals. I mean ULTRA liberals. Tolerance my ass, it's just like you said. I am the one that was demanded to change. Again, I'm not picking on the more liberal people out there, but it has been my experience that the more liberal ones are the far less tolerant and go to extremes when you don't agree with them.
But just try going onto a conservative forum and expressing liberal views. (In many cases, you can't -- liberal comments are banned outright, so there's no chance for any discussion to even begin.)
I've been called a bigot for being indifferent towards gay marriage.
Oh, that's another one of her big causes. Look, treat other people like you want to be treated, is the way I feel about it. I don't mind if gay people get legally married, and call it marriage, and I genuinely hope they are happy and have years of joy together. I am opposed to any discrimination against anyone based on their sexual orientation (among other things) and I support equal rights and opportunity for all, regardless of race, gender, age, disability, sexual orientation, religion, ancestry, creed, etc etc. But for me, marriage is defined as a union between one man and one woman. That's MY personal definition of it. And my personal definition, which I don't even share with others unless they press me for it (or on an anonymous forum like this), offends some people. See - tolerance isn't enough. Respect and support for equal rights isn't enough. I have to CHANGE MY PERSONAL BELIEFS in order for it to be enough.
Where is THEIR respect and tolerance for MY personal beliefs? That's what I'd like to know.
we all do it to some extent, its the nature of man(or woman). the problem is that some people get so entrenched in their personal views, that they start thinking that the rest of the world should think the same things they do, or they need to change somehow. all you can do is be your tolerant self, and if they decide to open their minds, you can explain your position on the matter in question.
Oh please, could I give a bigger eye roll? I skipped the majority of that OP, you could've gotten your point across in 3 sentences. I've had conservatives unfriend me over stupid s*it. Big deal. Get over it. But noooo, it's just the liberals!!!!!!!
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