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View Poll Results: Should Spanking Your Kids Be.....
Illegal 12 9.84%
Leagal 110 90.16%
Voters: 122. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 12-05-2007, 08:26 AM
 
646 posts, read 1,784,624 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cremebrulee View Post
I spanked my son, lets say 4 times in his entire 18 years of life
there are 365 days in a year x his 18 years of life at home....equals 6,570 days he lived at home.... divided by 4 spankings since I cannot remember if it was 3 or 4 times I spanked him.... equals 1,645.50 days divided by 365 days in a year equals every 4.5 years in his entire life, he received a spanking? Would that be routinely to you? And let us remember, that I spanked his butt, didn't strap him, didn't slap him across the face, didn't draw blood, didn't leave a mark on his butt...but I spanked him...and not hard...
Don't make it so hard, just divide 18 by 4

Either way, no matter the frequency - one time is too many in my opinion.
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Old 12-05-2007, 08:30 AM
 
Location: Kentucky Bluegrass
28,841 posts, read 30,100,958 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweden View Post
It was one of the most humiliating and hurtful experiences I've ever had with my father, and I would never do that to a child of mine or any child for that matter, even if they drove me crazy and I could think of nothing else to do.
I see nothing good in spanking a child that works any longer than a short moment. I am proud that my country was the first of them all to make it illegal in 1979, and if it was up to me, it would be illegal everywhere in the world.
to each his own, but...perhaps by spanking you, your father got his message across and it only took one spanking to prove to you that there would be consequences for your actions...you remembered it as being humiliating, but I bet, in many situations growing up, you remembered that spanking so much so, that you didn't cross the line and do something bad when tempted...but in the same, you seem like a lovely girl, fair, and open minded....and for that, I commend your parents and that spanking, which may have saved your life...or kept you from going along with pier pressure.

Spanking may have insulted you, may have crushed your ego a little, but did you ever think, that maybe that spanking hurt your father more then it hurt you...and he might have been wondering all his life if he did the right thing? It isn't easy to spank your kids...believe me, it takes a lot of thinking about...and I didn't yell much...didn't have to....I wasn't your normal every day mom, that feels she had to explain to her child why? It was Just because I said so....I was the adult, and it was enough for him to know, it wasn't ok.

He is a cop now, and he sees kids who have really big mouths and say the F word in front of their parents, who hit their own parents, who have very little respect for anyone, including themselves....

You cannot compare spanking an adult to spanking a child...but I will say this, there are plenty of adults out there who should be spanked and insulted, if that is what it does. And no, I didn't spank my child "just because I felt like it" I spanked him b/c he had a behavior problem understanding what meant no....and I felt, if there was every a life threatening situation, where I yelled, NO! I wanted to be sure, he'd stop and listen to that NO. And by darn there was....we were all in the back yard...we lived on Main Street....he was a toddler....my husband thought I was watching him...I thought he was watching him....Sweden, he went missing...we ran out front, and as soon as I turned the corner, there he was standing on the sidewalk, ready to step down in to the street...I screamed with all my might...NO...and he stopped...if he hadn't, he would have been run down by a car....I am embarrassed about this...that both of us, took our eyes off of him for a 2nd....but we did...and, boom, he was gone....and I've talked to him many times about this...I am glad I spanked him...I am very glad I was spanked...and believe me, I was not spanked a lot...but on occassion I was and I'm grateful for it....b/c I know, that is what stopped me from drinking, from going places I shouldn't have with other kids, from doing dare devil stuff....from drag racing in cars with older kids...and I learned on my own, to stay away from kids that were stealing or just plain bad, b/c I knew that I would get a spanking....b/c I feared what might happen if my parents found out...and God as my witness...I was a wild kid, and I'm soooo glad I was fearful....

And no Sweden, when it comes to kids, and parenting, times have not changed, kids will always be kids and parents need to do, what works for them in their own unique experience with their children....children are not all the same...some blately are stubborn and insubordinate...and if you don't teach them when they are young, by the time they are 5, they're characters are developed...and they may turn our really bad....

I do not advocate beating a child...but a spanking now and then, is certainly ok....and no matter what technology we have earned, parenting is still parenting...and we all have to do what works best for our children. You may be fortunate enough to have 4 kids...3 of them turn out fine, and one turns out really really bad...and you never spanked him, and maybe if you would have, he might have turned out different.

I have been asked that question over and over again by people my age...how come I have two kids or 3 or 4 kids and all of them but one turned out ok...but that one child is bad? Whose to say....but as much as I respect and admire you, on this one, we agree to disagree....why?

Because when I was in the doctor's office with my mother, and that mother allowed her kids to knock into this old woman, not once but several times....and did or said nothing, and I see how kids disrespect not only the property of others but the quiet space that others might need while in public...and knowing that more and more parents fear spanking children, well, I can certainly seet the difference from when we were children.

It's ok, for a child to realize, it's not ok to act or speak like that....yanno?
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Old 12-05-2007, 08:30 AM
 
Location: Pinal County, Arizona
25,100 posts, read 39,147,378 times
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Back on point:

Should the government dictate parental discipline?

The poll, by the OP seems to indicate - NO, the government should not dictate parental discipline.

Thank goodness there are still some sane individuals in the world
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Old 12-05-2007, 08:38 AM
 
Location: Kentucky Bluegrass
28,841 posts, read 30,100,958 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stockholmaren View Post
Don't make it so hard, just divide 18 by 4

Either way, no matter the frequency - one time is too many in my opinion.

well, that is your opinion, of which your entitled to, but it doesn't make you a math major nor a better person then I am...or I you...it's just what we believe, not to mention....this is certainly not an issue for the government to get into....that is for certain....and yanno, it worked for me...so, I don't feel any regreats about spanking him, while, as any parent, I do have others, but the spankings, no, and that I would do again....and he would tell you if he were here, he deserved it....without me even asking him to defend me....
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Old 12-05-2007, 08:39 AM
 
Location: Kentucky Bluegrass
28,841 posts, read 30,100,958 times
Reputation: 19027
Quote:
Originally Posted by Greatday View Post
Back on point:

Should the government dictate parental discipline?

The poll, by the OP seems to indicate - NO, the government should not dictate parental discipline.

Thank goodness there are still some sane individuals in the world


and the point is this is my thread and poll, which I thought I was trying to make a point in my last post...while responding to another post...?????

hope you don't mind...and I like your opinion, while I apologize for being so long winded at times....and matter of fact, even if the poll were in favor, of making it illegal I'd still be arguing my point....but that's me....
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Old 12-05-2007, 10:00 AM
 
3,570 posts, read 3,738,329 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cremebrulee View Post
And no Sweden, when it comes to kids, and parenting, times have not changed, kids will always be kids and parents need to do, what works for them in their own unique experience with their children....children are not all the same...some blately are stubborn and insubordinate...and if you don't teach them when they are young, by the time they are 5, they're characters are developed...and they may turn our really bad....
As if the only way to "teach them when they are young" is to spank them. I will repeat. That's just LAZY parenting. It's.... "I don't have a better method or tools in my arsenal to discipline my child, to teach him/her how to give and get respect, and to behave properly, so instead of using other means of discipline, I take the EASY WAY out, and I scare them into submission."

And yes, some kids are blatently stubborn and insubordinate. As if spanking them is going to change that personality quality?

Furthermore, your experience in the doctor's office only proves that the kids were unruly. It does not prove that the method used to discipline them was NOT spanking as well. Don't assume that if discipline fails, it is because the parent didn't use "your endorsed" method of discipline. It may just be that the parent didn't employ consistent discipline, or no discipline, or the WRONG KIND of discipline.

Personally, the only think spanking solved when I got spanked, is that it made me angry at my parents, and more intent to not back down on whatever issue was on the table. It did not in any way, shape or form "stop" me from doing something I wanted to do. I am VERY stubborn. But, my nature tends to be go with the flow, so I was a good kid. I can assure you, it wasn't because of spanking, but IN SPITE of it.
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Old 12-05-2007, 10:54 AM
 
646 posts, read 1,784,624 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cremebrulee View Post
well, that is your opinion, of which your entitled to, but it doesn't make you a math major nor a better person then I am...or I you...it's just what we believe, not to mention....this is certainly not an issue for the government to get into....that is for certain....and yanno, it worked for me...so, I don't feel any regreats about spanking him, while, as any parent, I do have others, but the spankings, no, and that I would do again....and he would tell you if he were here, he deserved it....without me even asking him to defend me....
I was just trying to make it less confusing for people, and you're certainly entitled to your opinion as well, I just simply disagree.

And what is so wrong about the government banning spanking? In our society, we have laws and punishments for a reason, and those are implemented by the government. I as a civilian can't arbitrarily put someone in jail because I think they did something wrong, the government has been given that authority from the people.
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Old 12-05-2007, 10:58 AM
 
Location: Pinal County, Arizona
25,100 posts, read 39,147,378 times
Reputation: 4937
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stockholmaren View Post
And what is so wrong about the government banning spanking?
Simply put, you are now putting goverment in the role of child rearing and child discipline - a role that should be left totally, and completely, up to the parents.

By putting government in that position, you are advocating a Nanny State -

Last edited by Greatday; 12-05-2007 at 11:56 AM..
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Old 12-05-2007, 11:36 AM
 
Location: Huntsville, AL
1,618 posts, read 4,768,645 times
Reputation: 1517
I don't think spanking is necessary to discipline in my home, and I do not spank my children.

HOWEVER, making spanking illegal is completely ridiculous, and an imposition on freedom. While I have not found spanking to be necessary, that is my circumstance. Maybe it's because I know how to effectively communicate with my kids, maybe my kids were born being more responsive to the kinds of discipline I use, I don't claim to know. I am not so self-righteous a parent to think my way is the only way, and if my kids were misbehaving and not responding to any discipline methods I try, I would certainly be open-minded enough to consider spanking if that is what it took. I don't think the discipline methods I use are necessarily any less harsh than some that I have used. I was just not spanked growing up and it's not part of my culture, but I'm sure there are times my child would have preferred a swat on the bottom to me, say, confiscating every toy left on the floor and putting it in a trash bag. (Which I have done)

I do think spanking, if used, should be used judiciously by a parent in a non-emotional state. I think the spanking "debate" is a healthy one in terms of helping parents consider all discipline alternatives, and in general helping parents discipline in a calm, firm, and even-tempered way (whether it's spanking or other consequences - ANY consequence delivered in an out-of-control emotional fervor is not good parenting, IMO - not to say I've never lost it.)

But to make spanking illegal? Ridiculous. I think we as a society are intelligent enough to understand the difference between spanking and abuse.
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Old 12-05-2007, 01:11 PM
 
Location: Kentucky Bluegrass
28,841 posts, read 30,100,958 times
Reputation: 19027
Quote:
Originally Posted by roseba View Post
As if the only way to "teach them when they are young" is to spank them. I will repeat. That's just LAZY parenting. It's.... "I don't have a better method or tools in my arsenal to discipline my child, to teach him/her how to give and get respect, and to behave properly, so instead of using other means of discipline, I take the EASY WAY out, and I scare them into submission."

And yes, some kids are blatently stubborn and insubordinate. As if spanking them is going to change that personality quality?

Furthermore, your experience in the doctor's office only proves that the kids were unruly. It does not prove that the method used to discipline them was NOT spanking as well. Don't assume that if discipline fails, it is because the parent didn't use "your endorsed" method of discipline. It may just be that the parent didn't employ consistent discipline, or no discipline, or the WRONG KIND of discipline.

Personally, the only think spanking solved when I got spanked, is that it made me angry at my parents, and more intent to not back down on whatever issue was on the table. It did not in any way, shape or form "stop" me from doing something I wanted to do. I am VERY stubborn. But, my nature tends to be go with the flow, so I was a good kid. I can assure you, it wasn't because of spanking, but IN SPITE of it.
I disagree, it is NOT lazy parenting...do you really think we parents who spank enjoyed doing so...do you actually understand the courage it takes to do so...???? No body in their right mind likes making their child cry or unhappy?????? Your idea of discipline and my idea of discipline are two different opinions, but just b/c a parent does or doesn't...doesn't make them a bad parent....as long as there is not abuse involved...
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