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View Poll Results: Should Spanking Your Kids Be.....
Illegal 12 9.84%
Leagal 110 90.16%
Voters: 122. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 12-15-2007, 04:02 PM
 
3,570 posts, read 3,746,869 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lakerat View Post
Actually, my response has a lot to do with spanking vs. not spanking. The VAST MAJORITY of parents I dealt with, whose teenagers were totally out of control, were of the "I don't believe in spanking my kid" attitude.
The no spanking attitude hasn't been around that long. How do you account for delinquents of yesteryear... or do you suggest there were no criminals before the flower generation?
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Old 12-15-2007, 04:03 PM
 
Location: Pinal County, Arizona
25,100 posts, read 39,200,144 times
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105 for keeping spanking legal

Less than 15 otherwise

Interesting
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Old 12-15-2007, 04:29 PM
 
488 posts, read 1,174,976 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by roseba View Post
The no spanking attitude hasn't been around that long. How do you account for delinquents of yesteryear... or do you suggest there were no criminals before the flower generation?
Oh really? Well then, just how long has the no spanking attitude been around? When did it start?

Actually, I suggest how the parents with the no spanking attitude were the parents who just could not understand how their little Johnny or their little Mary had become such out of control, back talking, teenagers.
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Old 12-15-2007, 04:33 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lakerat View Post
Oh really? Well then, just how long has the no spanking attitude been around? When did it start?

Actually, I suggest how the parents with the no spanking attitude were the parents who just could not understand how their little Johnny or their little Mary had become such out of control, back talking, teenagers.
Can you provide EVIDENCE that there is a higher prevelance of this occuring? I have already provided EVIDENCE to the contrary.
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Old 12-15-2007, 09:35 PM
 
488 posts, read 1,174,976 times
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I witnessed it first hand in dealings with parents and their out of control kids.
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Old 12-15-2007, 09:43 PM
 
Location: Sacramento
14,044 posts, read 27,167,795 times
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I believe the no spanking attitude began to get attention with Dr Benjamin Spock. My vote was that spanking should be legal, but my wife and I didn't spank our kids, and they all are now adults and have turned out just fine. So I personally don't believe spanking really has benefits folks claim, but I don't believe is should be illegal either.

Also, my wife and I both grew up in homes which did not believe in spanking, and we both came out just fine too.

http://www.nospank.net/spock2.htm
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Old 12-16-2007, 06:23 AM
 
Location: Pa
20,300 posts, read 22,184,820 times
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I don't think lack of spanking causes poorly behaved children. Bad parents create bad kids.
Children need to understand that there are consequences. Many parents seem to think reasoning with their children as though they are adults will work. Kids think in terms of the now. Very short term thinkers. They have no life experience to draw from, although to hear them talk they have all the answers.
The biggest issue is lack of consistency. If you only punish them after they have pushed you to your breaking point chances are your punishment is clouded by anger and the lesson is lost. Regardless of spanking or what ever. Once you allow your temper to dictate the punishment the game is over.
My brothers sons 10 and 6 are smart well spoken but loud and undisciplined in stores and restaurants. ie embarrassing at times. They have been spanked...
The fact is they do tend to back talk and get away with it far too often. Only after their parents get fed up with it do they get any punishment.
My son was spanked maybe 5 times in his life. You got it only after he really pushed my buttons. In public he was a pleasure almost never needing to be corrected. Partly due to his nature but also due to the fact he knew it would not be tolerated. Even when my kids were 3 years old. If they acted up in the store, it was out to the car we went and waited for mom to finish. Sometimes it took a while.LOL Torture is sitting in a car with dad who every now and then turns and glares at you... Much more fun to behave in the store and get to walk around.
I see kids running in the aisle ways, running around in restaurants and the parents act as though its normal and okay. NO ITS RUDE. If you can't control your children in public keep them at home. I will hear oh johnny be good, oh Johnny just likes to play, he just needs to run everywhere he goes. NO he doesn't... You need to be the parent. What ever form of discipline you use, use it and be consistent.
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Old 12-16-2007, 06:45 AM
 
3,570 posts, read 3,746,869 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tinman01 View Post
I don't think lack of spanking causes poorly behaved children. Bad parents create bad kids.
Children need to understand that there are consequences. Many parents seem to think reasoning with their children as though they are adults will work. Kids think in terms of the now. Very short term thinkers. They have no life experience to draw from, although to hear them talk they have all the answers.
The biggest issue is lack of consistency. If you only punish them after they have pushed you to your breaking point chances are your punishment is clouded by anger and the lesson is lost. Regardless of spanking or what ever. Once you allow your temper to dictate the punishment the game is over.
My brothers sons 10 and 6 are smart well spoken but loud and undisciplined in stores and restaurants. ie embarrassing at times. They have been spanked...
The fact is they do tend to back talk and get away with it far too often. Only after their parents get fed up with it do they get any punishment.
My son was spanked maybe 5 times in his life. You got it only after he really pushed my buttons. In public he was a pleasure almost never needing to be corrected. Partly due to his nature but also due to the fact he knew it would not be tolerated. Even when my kids were 3 years old. If they acted up in the store, it was out to the car we went and waited for mom to finish. Sometimes it took a while.LOL Torture is sitting in a car with dad who every now and then turns and glares at you... Much more fun to behave in the store and get to walk around.
I see kids running in the aisle ways, running around in restaurants and the parents act as though its normal and okay. NO ITS RUDE. If you can't control your children in public keep them at home. I will hear oh johnny be good, oh Johnny just likes to play, he just needs to run everywhere he goes. NO he doesn't... You need to be the parent. What ever form of discipline you use, use it and be consistent.
So to summarize your statements:

It's not spanking or not spanking that makes bad kids, it's lack of consistent disicipline, and waiting for circumstances to get too far. Thanks for the honesty.
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Old 12-16-2007, 07:32 AM
 
3,570 posts, read 3,746,869 times
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Consider the following from: http://www.gentlechristianmothers.co...zabethp/p1.php
  1. Spanking does nothing to teach a child to develop inner discipline. A child’s focus is on the spanking itself, not on a review of the behavior that led to it. After a spanking, a child does not sit in his room and think, “Gee, I sure goofed. But I really learned something. Next time I’ll behave.” Instead a child is typically thinking, “It’s not fair! She doesn’t understand! I hate her”
  2. Spanking is seen as punishment for a crime, payment for a debt. In other words, once paid, they have a clean slate. Spanking gets in the way of allowing a child to develop a conscience. The guilt that follows misbehavior is a prime motivator for change. Spanking takes away the guilt, because the crime has been paid for.
  3. Spanking makes the parent feel better. When we get angry, we move into the “fight or flight” mode. Our adrenaline increases, and we have a primitive need to strike out. Hitting releases this negative energy, and helps us feel better. But even a minor spanking can escalate into major abuse. Parents have reported that during the heat of the moment it’s hard to stop hitting, and some say that they don’t even realize how hard they’ve hit until they see the bruise.
  4. Parents who spank sometimes come to rely upon spanking as their primary source of discipline. If you give yourself permission to spank, it becomes a quick fix for all kinds of problems; it blocks off the effective use of other more productive skills.
  5. Spanking gets in the way of a healthy parent-child relationship. Children look up to their parents as protectors, teachers, and guides. When a parent breaks that pattern by hitting a child, the relationship suffers.
  6. Spanking is not an effective form of discipline. Hitting a child typically stops a behavior at that point because of shock, fear or pain. But most children turn around and repeat the same behavior - sometimes even the same day! Parents who spank often find themselves spanking a child many times a day - so if spanking “works” why is this so?
  7. Spanking is not humane or Christian behavior. I know there are many Christian families that believe in spanking. They often quote to me from the Bible, “Spare the rod and spoil the child”. Now, I am not an expert on the Bible, but I am a Christian, and from that position only do I give you this opinion. I believe that the “rod” as referred to here mean a tool of discipline. In the days of the Bible, a shepherd used a “rod” to guide his sheep - he did not hit them with it. His rod was seen as a symbol of his authority over the animals, not a tool to cause them pain. I also ask you these questions: If God walked into your home today and saw your child misbehave, would he hit your child? I would say definitely not! Would he discipline your child? Would he teach your child? Would he guide your child? I would say yes, absolutely!
  8. Spanking does teach a lesson. The lesson is: “When you don’t know what else to do - hit!” or “When you’re bigger you can hit.” Or “When you’re really angry you can get your way by hitting. It’s common knowledge that children who are frequently hit are more likely to accept the use of violence, and are more likely to hit other children. It only makes sense, because, after all, children learn what they live. Children who are spanked often have more resentment and anger, and lower self-esteem.
Even with these points in mind I’ve read several articles that address the issue of spanking where the writer says it’s okay to spank if the child is in danger - for instance, if a toddler is running into the street, or reaching out to touch a hot burner on the stove. They suggest that at these times a few pops on the rear end are okay. I must admit this naïve mindset baffles me. Why in the world would we want to teach our children about safety by hurting them? Does you ski instructor jab you with his ski pole to teach you not to jump off the chairlift?

A parent who believes that spanking is the only effective way to teach a young child about safety issues is not giving the child enough credit. Children - even little ones - can indeed learn about safety through our teaching them. As a matter of fact, through teaching they will learn much more, as they can absorb the reason for the rule, and over time, can learn to make good decisions on their own.

Positive, respectful, consistent discipline is the real key to raising well-behaved children.
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Old 12-16-2007, 07:34 AM
 
Location: Pinal County, Arizona
25,100 posts, read 39,200,144 times
Reputation: 4937
Quote:
Originally Posted by tinman01 View Post
I see kids running in the aisle ways, running around in restaurants and the parents act as though its normal and okay. NO ITS RUDE. If you can't control your children in public keep them at home. I will hear oh johnny be good, oh Johnny just likes to play, he just needs to run everywhere he goes. NO he doesn't... You need to be the parent. What ever form of discipline you use, use it and be consistent.
And, a good swift swat on the butt can be an effective form of discipline -
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