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My recollection, though likely faulty, was that it was automagical when I signed the marriage certificate. But as I say, it was 20 years ago. So I am likely full of poo. But I vaguely remember thinking well gee wasn't that easy! I don't think I will get married again just to test that theory.
It's easy if you're young and don't have too many things to change. The older you get the more cards and documents you acquire..then it's a really pain in the butt. Throw in the fact I am from New Zealand, lived in Australia, then came to the US and it becomes a HUGE ordeal. No thanks, I'll keep my maiden name.
I lived with my first husband for many years before getting married. I actually changed my name before we married, when I was pregnant with our first baby. It seemed nice for everyone to have the same name.
It's easy if you're young and don't have too many things to change. The older you get the more cards and documents you acquire..then it's a really pain in the butt. Throw in the fact I am from New Zealand, lived in Australia, then came to the US and it becomes a HUGE ordeal. No thanks, I'll keep my maiden name.
I lived with my first husband for many years before getting married. I actually changed my name before we married, when I was pregnant with our first baby. It seemed nice for everyone to have the same name.
Yah. I count this thread as educational in this regard!
I am traditional, and I do not like anti-tradition or types of feminism.
How about this? You keep being "traditional" yourself (although there are rational reasons for a woman to keep her last name that have nothing to do with anti-tradition or feminism) and hopefully a woman who shares your view crosses your path. And you leave the folks who have different beliefs alone to continue believing and living however the heck they want. Put another way, keep your beliefs to yourself. Progressives, non-traditionalists and feminists have roamed the planet for decades...and last time I checked, society hasn't collapsed.
It's fine and good to be curious about stuff. That said, I think some people would be far happier with their own lives if they would stop caring so much about stuff that doesn't affect them in any way, shape or form...and if they would stop getting worked up over how other people live their lives and the decisions they make.
I used to care more because I thought everyone in the family should have the same last name. Now there are so many variances in families that as my generation gets older no one's going to bat an eye at seeing mother and child with different last names. Plus I've learned how Spanish people name themselves and I think that's a cool tradition. That said, I took my husband's name because I truly had no emotional attachment to my maiden name. Sometimes I want to make our last name more "American" but really, it is American.
Anybody else still strongly believe in tradition like me and keep the man's family name in marriage. I am a man and my wife took my last name. No hyphen with her last name and mine, just my last name. And, did not keep her last name when we married like some women do!!
I really appreciate women that take the last name of the man, and keep the tradition.
You and your wife did what works for you. Other people do what works for them. Everybody wins.
YES She should take his name. You are the same household- why would there be two different names?! Talk about confusion including embarrassing your kids.
YES She should take his name. You are the same household- why would there be two different names?! Talk about confusion including embarrassing your kids.
Are you kidding me? In what world would parents with two different last names be embarrassing to kids?
The majority of women who keep their own last names are quite accomplished professionally. There is absolutely nothing embarrassing about a mother who is published, does well-known research, owns a business, heals the sick, performs in the arts, etc.
Are you kidding me? In what world would parents with two different last names be embarrassing to kids?
I can only assume that poster lives in 1940, or perhaps the rural South. You're right, the usual association when married people have different last names is that the woman is highly educated and/or accomplished in her field.
Why is this such a debate? If you want to keep your name, keep it. If you want to change it, change it. If you want to hyphenate, hyphenate. Problem solved.
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