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The reason there is child support and the state backs it is because it does indeed cost money to raise a child. If the parents (both of them) don't contribute, then the state does though our tax dollars.
The way child support works is the state calculates how much it costs to raise a child in your area including based on the cost of living--things such as child care, health insurance, food, shelter, clothes, school supplies, special needs if any, etc... That number is added up. Then they figure out what each parent owes (yes, both).
If the parent lives with the mother, then it's assumed she pays all the bills and the father essentially reimburses her for the amount it costs to raise his child. If the child lives with the father, then the mother reimburses the mother for the amount it costs to raise her child. If there is equal custody and both parents raise the child... the amount of child support drops. Basically, both parents have responsibility to support their children financially. When a split occurs and one parent has physical custody of the children, that parent's responsibility is fulfilled by being the custodial parent. The other parent then makes a child support payment which fulfills that non-custodial parent's financial responsibilities.
If you (as a man or woman) have a child, split up from the other parent and don't want to actually pay a child support payment to your ex... simply take responsibility and raise your child or at least raise your child 50% of the time.
Despite what some are saying, the vast majority of fathers pay child support. Deadbeat dads, while popularized in the media, are rare. The reason, most dads care about their children and the welfare of their children--even if they aren't attached to their mother anymore.
Also, the obligation to pay child support has nothing to do with marriage.
Overall, the child support system is fair... it's gender blind and the only and primary goal is the welfare of the children as well as making sure those children aren't dependent on the state (makes sure the two people who made the child pay... not the rest of us).
However, there is an injustice that's related to the child support system. One parent can deny another parent access to children, but that parent being denied still has to pay support. Child support payments and visitation are considered by the law to be totally separate issues by the state. If a parent is having an issue with this, that parent needs to get a lawyer, go back to court, and get a court order... maybe even petition to get custody.
Have you ever had to pay a lawyers retainer its really expensive, women get off scott free while the guy has to pay. Most guys cant afford a lawyer after paying child support and getting kicked out of their own house.
No I didn't. Stating I find fathers useless doesn't equate to stating kids only need moms and cash especially when I earlier implied I find mothers useless. Stating I support single mothers doesn't equate to stating kids only need moms and cash as I support single fathers as well. I support whoever has enough cash to raise a kid be it a mom, a dad, grandparents, etc.
I highly doubt that guys provide so much more considering in historical times it seems gals still did all/most of the childcare duties as it was the woman's role. Do tell though what is this so much more they provide?
Ha! Boys need a strong father figure, not a woman masquerading as a man.
In our view what would make the most difference to this unfair marriage market are policies that would increase the number and quality of jobs available to working class people, retraining and unemployment benefits that fill in the gaps between jobs
This article should have started out with this. The reality is there are not enough good jobs. Lily is just a symptom of this situation.
Fixed.
Don't date down if you don't want to deal with financial hurdles. It seems like nobody, men or women want to struggle through the real rough patches in relationships. There's not a bad stigma attached to divorcees like there used to be. People are allowed to do what feels good in todays society, which is good!
Personally, I wouldn't want to get married to an otherwise perfect woman if she had 150K of student loans and CC debt or was a single mother (Sorry, I'm not a fan of kids) I've been responsible my entire life and avoided that trap, why jump headfirst into it? To say what I would do in that situation if it happened in real life and emotions and all that were fighting with my brain, who knows..
My Sisters are both divorced.
One left her Husband because she finally realized he was a complete a**hat. She got caught up with his flashy lifestyle and his status, he was a neurosurgeon and a complete jersey shore mimicking D-bag. He pretty much checked out of the relationship once she got pregnant. She filed afterwords.
He pays child support but has no interest in meeting the kid. I hated him the second I met him when they were dating, as did everyone else in my family. I love going back to Canada for Thanksgiving, it just pissed me off that he would be there every year..
Wealth, careers and education have very little do with relationships. There's plenty of broke people in relationships that are quite happy. If you're not willing to make things work through hard work and sacrifice then it's time to move on. It's better for both parties in the long run.
Women shouldnt be forced to follow ancient gender roles like cooking cleaning and sex. Men shouldnt be forced into gender roles liking working to care for women and children or giving them money. Women can take care of themselves with the help of the state or some man. Neither gender is obligated to support the other
Working to care for the children isn't a male gender role it's seemingly a parental role for either gender. This isn't about supporting a gal or taking care of a gal- it's about the child. I'm quite unsure why you seem to think paying child support is paying the gal not the welfare of the child.
Its a big game of chess and I work very hard to make sure that I minimize any expendetures that dont directly bennift me. I would go as far as leaving my country and seeking citizenship else where if our govt starts getting too totalitarian.
You should not be expected to pay for anyones kids with tax money, the mother should suffer with the kid if she is the cause of the relationship failure. If things went back to that people would find a little more intestinal fortitude to do what they are suppose to. As it stands now men are suppose to be responsible but women can do what ever can collect funds. It wont last becuase the society will colapse as it is now.
Let them both suffer. A lesson will be learned. Have kids with a spouse or raise it yourself. Women can work just like men.
Ha! Boys need a strong father figure, not a woman masquerading as a man.
None of that negates my post as having a father doesn't necessarily mean a strong father figure. Especially considering by statistics it's gals not guys that is the most prominent and consistent figure in children's lives and doing all/most of their childcare.
Its a big game of chess and I work very hard to make sure that I minimize any expendetures that dont directly bennift me. I would go as far as leaving my country and seeking citizenship else where if our govt starts getting too totalitarian.
You should not be expected to pay for anyones kids with tax money, the mother should suffer with the kid if she is the cause of the relationship failure. If things went back to that people would find a little more intestinal fortitude to do what they are suppose to. As it stands now men are suppose to be responsible but women can do what ever can collect funds. It wont last becuase the society will colapse as it is now.
It would be awfully hard to impossible to prove who is the cause of the relationship failure... because most times, both people are responsible. Anyone who thinks they are completely blameless is deluded. Even me... my ex husband came out of the closet and left me--seems clear cut, right? No, I had a role in it too. I ignored red flags early on and married him before I knew him well enough.
If you say that neither parent has to support their child, there will probably be a return to orphanages because a lot of people won't be able to take on the costs of a child without the other child's parent. Again, it will fall on the state and therefore taxpayers. If you create a child--man or woman, you are responsible for your actions. Not the state or anyone else. If you don't want a child, take precautions and know your partner.
Let them both suffer. A lesson will be learned. Have kids with a spouse or raise it yourself. Women can work just like men.
Thats not how it is though, men are strong armed to pay out. Women just dont get it (as evidenced by responses to my posts) and the more pressure the govt puts on the worse things will get.
Its a big game of chess and I work very hard to make sure that I minimize any expendetures that dont directly bennift me. I would go as far as leaving my country and seeking citizenship else where if our govt starts getting too totalitarian.
You should not be expected to pay for anyones kids with tax money, the mother should suffer with the kid if she is the cause of the relationship failure. If things went back to that people would find a little more intestinal fortitude to do what they are suppose to. As it stands now men are suppose to be responsible but women can do what ever can collect funds. It wont last becuase the society will colapse as it is now.
That doesn't seem how it stands as gals are also responsible as it seems both genders are paying for the child. Are you under the notion that a guy paying child support means he's the only party responsible as if the child support are the sole funds rather than his portion?
Quote:
Originally Posted by highlife2
Thats not how it is though, men are strong armed to pay out. Women just dont get it (as evidenced by responses to my posts) and the more pressure the govt puts on the worse things will get.
Gals do seem to get it as they're also paying for the child thus they want child support for him to do his part.
Hmm no wonder in my opinion it seems gals are becoming far less interested in marriage.
Lol. Maybe on feminist forums. Every girl I've dated has pressed or expressed interest in marriage. Honestly, outside of the internet, I've never met a woman who doesn't want to get married.
Gross. Thinking of listening to a girl proclaiming that just sounds manly and off putting.
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