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I thought this subject didn't bother you? you seem a bit worked up because I think kids shouldn't be called names. get a grip.
Not at all. Sticks and stones. Never bothered me a bit and I don't think it should bother anyone else. You're the one in a lather over it, self-congratulating on how you are above such things. If you're going to profess moral superiority, pick something worthwhile.
Yes- I agree with that. I just think the emphasis shouldn't be on the child, who didn't have anything to do with the legal arrangement of his or her parents when they got together to make him or her.
But I wholeheartedly agree with the point that people (both then men and the women) just seem wayyyyy too casual about having a baby with this man, then having a relationship with another dude that implodes, and then another, and so on. If the kid is having to deal with all of this drama, when they really should have a much more stable home environment, can the kid(s) at least be given the kindness to not be called "illegitimate??!"
Call me a prude (I readily admit it), but I think they are wayyyyy too casual about sex, period. Whatever happened to restraint?
Not at all. Sticks and stones. Never bothered me a bit and I don't think it should bother anyone else. You're the one in a lather over it, self-congratulating on how you are above such things. If you're going to profess moral superiority, pick something worthwhile.
you are prickly aren't you? I never claimed "moral superiority" nor was I "self congratulating" your words not mine. BTW just because you are not bothered by something doesn't mean other people feel the same way.
This thread thread leaves me stunned. I live just about as Father Knows Best as is possible in this world, and I'd like to castrate any man who walks away from his progeny. When people flippantly dismiss pregnancy as solely the responsibility of the woman, they are supporting irresponsible male sexuality. Is this really the way we want to raise our sons? I don't think so. It's certainly not the way I'm raising my sons.
I don't think he didn't "value himself" enough. I think it is selfishness. But, it's not an "outdated term." It is a legal term. It's meaning is still valid.
Well, I had to jump back in here to say that the replies so far are an answer to my pie-in-the-sky state of bewilderment. The mentality that gave rise to this insidious term is alive but not well. In regard to this reply, I am unconcerned about what the term means from a legal standpoint because the law only reflects the degree of enlightenment of the people. In common discourse, people are not using a legal definition - and that is even weak, in a practical sense.
It is just sick that people make the behavior of the parents a stigma on the innocent child. Don't the culture of life folks call every embryo a child of God? I am chuckling right now. I say embryo because conservatives are bleeding hearts about LIFE until the child is born - at which point they must pull themselves up by the bootstraps or the hades with with.
The point of my post is that there is no such thing as an illegitimate human being - period!
How can a human being be illegitimate? Define that in any way that makes sense without switching the topic to the sins of the parent.
I have always thought that to stigmatize children for the behaviors of their adult parents with such a term is simply bizarre. A father is a parent regardless of not having been married to the child's mother. -That has always been true whether or not society played stupid human tricks with reality due to their stupid bog-headed religious and social beliefs. Women also used to be the property of their husbands and thus took the surnames of their "owner" husbands. Women continue with this tradition regardless of the fact that it makes no sense and is rooted in a backward belief system.
What is remarkable is that I still hear people using the "illegitimate child" terminology. I feel that even if someone is speaking of a historical account, from a time when people held such absurd beliefs, that they should not use that terminology to describe a child born to such circumstances.
I agree it is a unfair label to put on a child, but in reality that is still what they are. Would it be better to call them bastards? There are way too many children being raised by single moms but that isn't the fault of the kids, that is the fault of casual sex. What ever happened to sex being part of true love?
and sometimes the single mom would rather be single than marry the father of the child.
....which is why this is a topic for discussion rather than an automatic "that's pointless and hurtful, don't say it." People should not be having kids with people they are unwilling to marry. If a woman isn't willing to marry the father, she ideally should make sure she or he are using protection (as should he of course, it's a mutual responsibility), and failing that should abort. A tremendous number of the social and economic problems in modern American society are caused by the disintegration of the family.
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nor was I "self congratulating" your words not mine. BTW just because you are not bothered by something doesn't mean other people feel the same way.
