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Old 01-07-2008, 06:35 PM
 
Location: finally in NC!
473 posts, read 699,892 times
Reputation: 298

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This sounds like something that would answer a lot of my questions, TruthHurts, so I thank you for posting the info. Obviously you're interested in this subject as well, so if you want to give me more to think about, please post on!
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Old 01-07-2008, 06:39 PM
 
Location: finally in NC!
473 posts, read 699,892 times
Reputation: 298
SunnyKayak wrote: With any race I think once you get comfortable you will start recognizing people by their first or last name and not by the color of their skin. Hopefully you new found friends will be able to share their old family photos and the importance each member had in shaping that individual


SunnyKayak, This is also my hope. I feel (believe it or not) that I am fairly comfortable with those of every race now; I am just super-cautious not to offend. I know that it is very hard to un-do a bad first impression, and we hope to live in NC for a long time.

I didn't mean that the subject of race would come up as a topic of conversation or that I would introduce it, but I don't want to make a simple mistake that would be held against me and jeopardize what might otherwise have become a friendly and solid relationship.

I don't know if I am making myself clear here or just sounding like I am making excuses.

Help!!

I meant no offense....
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Old 01-07-2008, 06:46 PM
 
4,834 posts, read 6,107,341 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nims View Post
SunnyKayak wrote: With any race I think once you get comfortable you will start recognizing people by their first or last name and not by the color of their skin. Hopefully you new found friends will be able to share their old family photos and the importance each member had in shaping that individual


SunnyKayak, This is also my hope. I feel (believe it or not) that I am fairly comfortable with those of every race now; I am just super-cautious not to offend. I know that it is very hard to un-do a bad first impression, and we hope to live in NC for a long time.

I didn't mean that the subject of race would come up as a topic of conversation or that I would introduce it, but I don't want to make a simple mistake that would be held against me and jeopardize what might otherwise have become a friendly and solid relationship.

I don't know if I am making myself clear here or just sounding like I am making excuses.

Help!!

I meant no offense....

I cannot answer for SunnyKayak but i will address the balance of your post:


I have swapped many a post with you over the past few weeks, and if one can truly tell what is inside a person from their posts, I would say what you have inside is sincerity, integrity and a will to co-exist with everyone.

OK, that help is gonna cost ya....

PS: When this thread was moved from the NC forum to Political did it cost you hearing from North Carolinians?
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Old 01-07-2008, 06:56 PM
 
8,289 posts, read 13,523,969 times
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interesting subject as I am hispanic (of cuban descent) and my best friend is black and that is the term he prefers. Growing up in the northeast & then Miami never heard terms like colored or negro except to describe race. Then again I was born after the civil rights era so perhaps it's a generational thing and never really thought about race growing up.
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Old 01-07-2008, 06:58 PM
 
Location: finally in NC!
473 posts, read 699,892 times
Reputation: 298
Mikey_NC, thanks for that. I really don't want to offend anyone -- why else would I have asked for this info?

I don't know if any North Carolinians have responded to my question; I haven't noticed any NC 'locations' that I can identify. There have been some very thoughtful/insightful comments, and no 'slap-downs' so far.

I've gotten some good information about how to proceed slowly and carefully with both Whites and Blacks when we move to NC.

Like right now -- HEY -- ALL OF YOU READING THIS -- I AM LOOKING YOU RIGHT IN THE EYE, AND I AM -- S M I L I N G . And look at you there, you are SMILING BACK AT ME. Everything's OK again....
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Old 01-07-2008, 07:14 PM
 
4,834 posts, read 6,107,341 times
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Thumbs up Color blind

Quote:
Originally Posted by MiamiRob View Post
interesting subject as I am hispanic (of cuban descent) and my best friend is black and that is the term he prefers. Growing up in the northeast & then Miami never heard terms like colored or negro except to describe race. Then again I was born after the civil rights era so perhaps it's a generational thing and never really thought about race growing up.
If this is the case then maybe this current generation is better than we older folks thought. If you are growing up color blind that is one big step to equality for all and the Great American Dream.
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Old 01-07-2008, 07:52 PM
 
222 posts, read 689,299 times
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Other Books

Our Kind of People: Inside America's Black Upper Class by Lawrence Otis Graham ( this book didn't receive great reviews so you be the judge if you would like to read it or not)

A Member of the Club : Reflections on Life in a Racially Polarized World by Lawrence Otis Graham


Black Like Me John by Howard Griffin printed in 1964 (I think it has been updated I own the 1964 copy)
groundbreaking and controversial novel about his experiences as a white man who transforms himself with the aid of medication and dye in order to experience firsthand the life of a black man living in the Deep South in the late 1950s

White Like Me: Reflections on Race from a Privileged Son by Tim Wise
Tim Wise offers a highly personal examination of the ways in which racial privilege shapes the lives of most white Americans, overtly racist or not, to the detriment of people of color, themselves, and society.


Most people that I know prefer the term black. Negro at all times implies a racial division hindering on the N word. African American is a new term and since most blacks have never been to Africa and don't relate to people of Africa can't relate to being African American (there are some that will disagree). Most blacks in America have European or Native American decent.

Thank you for asking and striking conversation. And thanks for not generalizing all black people as we often see on CD.

Last edited by Khayla007; 01-07-2008 at 08:06 PM..
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Old 01-07-2008, 08:03 PM
 
Location: finally in NC!
473 posts, read 699,892 times
Reputation: 298
Default books about being Black

Thank you, Khayla007, for the recommendations.

Personally, I feel very happy to see the interchange that we have going on here.

I am grateful for the help I've gotten here; I can really use the advice and information you-all (and y'all) have given me.

See, S M I L I N G again. Great, isn't it!
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Old 01-07-2008, 10:24 PM
 
746 posts, read 840,404 times
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Um, yea good post by Khayla007 and again great topic Nims. I didn't think about this until i read her post, but she makes a very valid point. Just with this topic there are all kinds of black people in this country. There are as many interesting divisions amongst the black race as there are within the white race.

You have blacks that are upper class (which her books point out) and they operate a lot different than blacks that are middle class, and middle class blacks tend to operate a lot differently than poor blacks (which are usually the defacto stereotype of black people in this country). The biggest mistake i find that non-blacks make about blacks is stereotyping based on assumptions. For instance

Don't Assume all blacks are Democrats lol
Don't Assume we all like hip-hop music
Don't Assume we all know each other or agree with each other
Don't Assume we all talk a like or think a like
Don't Assume we can all play sports
Don't Assume we can all sing
Don't Assume we all grew up poor or disadvantaged etc

I'm just lising a few, but the biggest thing is not to make gross generalizations based on a few bad experiences or a few bad apples in the bunch. Its no different then a black that has never interacted with a white person, but assumes they are racist etc or just the worst about the person based on others opinions. Its so much better to base your opinions strictly on the person you meet and not try to place their attitudes or beliefs on their entire race. Hope this helps...Here's a site you might find interesting. It sort of pokes fun at whites stereotypes of blacks and vice versa check out the link

Black People Love Us! --link

It explores a lot of common fupaws whites tend to assume about black people, that are usually not remotely close to the truth. Its also a bit funny. Any hope this helps.
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Old 01-07-2008, 10:41 PM
 
746 posts, read 840,404 times
Reputation: 135
Default Hilarious

Quote:
Originally Posted by jfre81 View Post
Personally, I take offense to "whitey."

I prefer more dignified terms like "cracker" or "honky."
This was hilarious kudos for a great laugh!!


Jfre81, I have always made it my duty to insult whitey in a more dignified way. Anytime i'm angry at a white friend or feel "the man" is trying to bring me down i always make sure to say, "Dam, crazy cracker" or "Damit honky!!" I find it so low class to say "whitey" it just doesn't have that articulate educated zing to it.

Last edited by truthhurts; 01-07-2008 at 10:52 PM..
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