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golfgod- sounds like your friend doesn't have many ethnic friends.
Racist People ..................... thank god they are dying out little by little.
First...if he doesn't have any ethnic friends, who is being hurt when he uses racial slurs?
Second...its true that the overt racist is dying out, because it is rapidly becoming not only politically incorrect, but also criminal to express bigotted or racist views. The covert racist, however, is alive and well, I'm afraid...people that won't call a black guy a "coon" to his face...but wouldn't want his daughter bringing one home.
No offense, golfgod, but I think it is unwise to threaten someone with violence for using racial slurs. It strikes me as counterproductive. That is not to say that I wouldn't have been beyond angry, but I wouldn't have gone as far as to say that the person wasn't allowed to speak that way in my presence. I think it's admirable that you didn't simply ignore it and let the person know that it was offensive speech, but I wouldn't tell someone what they can and cannot say in my presence. That just doesn't make any sense to me. Threatening violence over offensive language makes less sense to me.
Goldgod, I can't imagine how it must have been to be cooped up with someone like that. Maybe it would be tolerable for some but frankly peope who speak like that are abhorrent too me.
I don't know what you could have done other then to say what you did. Of course I assume in the future you will avoid him, I know I certainly would, not only for fear that others would associate us and assume I was as big an idiot as he is but also because his speech is so offensive.
In my day to day life, I almost trip over myself to get away from people like this. Of course I have a child, I trip over myself while holding my hands over her ears to make sure she doesn't pick up such things.
Who was he hurting? Really, who was he hurting? Nobody. He hurt your feelings, maybe, but your feelings are not Constitutionally protected, last I checked.
There are things other than the Constitution that people live by. One of them is manners. No matter how you cut it, racial slurs are in poor taste. And there isn't truly freedom of speech. If people said what they wanted to say, all of the time in society, there would be mayhem. Some things are better left unsaid. People have the right to engage in speech like that with like minded people. People can't say what they want to say all of the time. They CAN, but they'll face consequences for doing so.
... People can't say what they want to say all of the time. They CAN, but they'll face consequences for doing so.
But what are these consequences supposed to be? I don't know about y'all, but if I made a habit of telling bigoted people that they had to shut it or I would become violent, I would be either fired from my job or asked to leave one of my classes before I could turn around. You said people should consider using manners. Is that what we do in polite society when someone says something we don't like--say we're going to beat their asses?
I'm going to change a few locations/surrounding points because I don't want to inadvertantly reveal the identity of the perpetrator and I know there are readers here who would probably recognize him.
On a group vacation I sharing a condo with 3 others, who I had not chosen to share with. Normally on this outing I share with 3 long (ish) term colleagues but business commitments prevented them from attending.
On the first evening one of the others (who is a long time member of the association) started referring to ALL Mexican Americans as F'ng Mexicans. I asked him not to use that phrase as I didn't like it, and there are a fair number of Mexican Americans in the organization, including one of the others sharing our condo.
He then proceeded to refer to anyone, from any country in the Middle East, (or the Indian sub-continent I guess as I'm sure he sees them the same way) as "Camel Jockeys". Again I asked him to refrain from such speech for the same reasons.
Then he began using the "N" word. I had the same response for him and ASKED him 3 times not to do so.
Of course he went into the "political correctness" argument, and the "do you think you're better?" argument. Along with every other rationalization that his type comes up with.
I pointed out that I had grown up hearing, and using, that word every day, but that I hoped that my 50 plus years had brought about some improvement in my attitude and behavior. He then brought up the "Rap stars use it" arguement, which led me to point out that I didn't have to listen to them, and besides, I can call MY kid ugly, YOU can't.
I told him that I turn off shows using any of those words and that I don't allow the use in my house. He said that the condo was his as well for the 4 days and he should be able to speak as he likes.
After several minutes of trying to reason (I know, it's like trying to teach a pig to dance) with him he brings out; "How about I just talk the way I want, and you just don't listen?"
That kind of did it for me and I offered an alternative solution; "how about instead, the next time I hear that word out of you I just beat you senseless."
I know resorting to violence (it didn't get past the promise) is admitting defeat but I couldn't help it.
I'm not looking for accolades for taking a stance. Just kind of venting and looking for a better way to handle this in future.
BTW, I had already asked the group leader and the condo association if I could change as I knew this guy was a bit of a J-hole as I had met him before.
One of the most disappointing things is knowing how this guy acts and talks, and his long association with our group, I find it all but impossible to believe that none of the current of former officers and board members has ever encountered his behavior.
golfgod
I liked your comeback, lol, I just wish youd done it, dont worry about the former officers, they probably taught him everything he knew..
Well some people, like small children, need not only hear that they are wrong but actually feel that they are wrong. I find nothing wrong with a good spanking, especially when the small children are adults.
I really want to know if the majority of those who responded to this thread think it's proper and/or permissible to threaten to beat people senseless if they offend you. Considering all the prejudiced people I've encountered here in the Deep South, you'd think I would have been imprisoned by now if I behaved that way.
In all honesty, I did tell a guy I felt "inclined to thrash [him] soundly," once, after he'd said we should "take all the blacks and put them on a boat bound for Africa, but blow it up instead." But you see, I was in the eighth grade.
Please, feel free to call me out if you think I'm taking this too seriously.
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I find nothing wrong with a good spanking, especially when the small children are adults.
