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Yes I am! My dad was not a stereotypical drug addict. I always tell people he was the most functional addict you would ever see in your life lol. And being a functional addict is not out of the ordinary either, it is a stereotype that all drug addicts are homeless, lying in filth and not doing anything but ruining their lives or the lives of their family. I have never done drugs due to growing up in the crack era and seeing the effect it had on people. And FWIW, my dad did many drugs other than crack, but he said crack was the worse and he was only a "crackhead" for about a year until he felt like it was taking over his life so he quit cold turkey, relasped, then went to rehab and got clean over 25 years ago. Some people just don't realize when they are spiraling out of control and do what they need to do to get out of their addiction. I knew/know a lot of lawyers who were drug addicts. There have been news stories and studies done showing most financial/Wall Street workers abuse drugs. Doctors are known to have high addiction rates related to perscription drugs and contrary to what people believe, whites in general in our country are more likely to be drug addicts. People can and do work and take care of families while they are addicts.
And my dad did eventually marry my mother. They were married about 10 years before they divorced. He was also with my two sisters' mom for about 10 years as well. My older brother was the result of a older woman taking advantage of him when he was 14/15 and she got pregnant (he says, she blessed him with letting him get some as a horny teen lol) and they were never together other than a sexual relationship.
I dont' think I was lucky at all. My dad had his dad in his life, his dad had his dad in his life. My mom had her dad in her life and my grandparents had theirs too. No one in my family has had to deal with an absent father that abandoned them other than the father dying while they were young. My dad's dad died when he was only 21. His mom died when he was 17. Both of their deaths is what drove him to drugs.
" I always tell people he was the most functional addict you would ever see in your life lol. And being a functional addict is not out of the ordinary either, it is a stereotype"
I'm sure a good percentage are functional but the Stereotype of a non-functioning drug addict is not unfounded. It's a matter of what percent are so bad that you would consider them non-functional.
Alcoholics are most likely the #1 Semi-functional addicts out there and supported by legal dispensaries (Bars, liquor stores, and supermarket). Your dad was probably typical of a lot of functional drug addicts that most people know, or may not even know
That is correct. You cannot. And this is why reasonable people do not start these kinds of threads. It simply is in poor taste. Especially since, even if the answer is: "yes, there is a clear preponderance of absent fathers that are black"... well... uh... then what? And if not... but, it is clear that you think so and therefore you did not ask your question in good faith. That's why this, and likely your other thread, got push-back. Have you learned the lesson yet or will there be more race or gender baited threads started to foment ire on an unsuspecting City-Data forum?
"then what?"
"then what?" is right. If your lucky maybe some personal enlightenment, but more likely, people are just validating thier existing stand on the topic.
Slavery not only inhibited family formation but made stable, secure family life difficult if not impossible.
A father might have one owner, his "wife" and children another.
Family separation through sale was a constant threat.
What impact might this have had on black men who were being denied the right to determine the status of their children even though they lived in a patriarchal society in which men were generally dominant?
Uh; slavery was ended in 1865. Word was the "out of wedlock thing" started getting real big with Black people about 1965 so, "slavery" 100 years ago doesn't cut it. Sorry.
It's not a predominantly black thing because the highest number of welfare recipients is white single mothers. There me be a higher incidence of absentee fathers if breaking the numbers down by racial demographic, but by sheer volume, Whitey wins the welfare title.
And race didn't create that problem, government did. The welfare state was rewarding the behavior long before the legal system was punishing it. Ghettos are fun to point at and say "look, there's the problem" but go take a tour of the local trailer park you can see from any turnpike or highway in flyover country. Lots of poverty, lots of single moms, and not a black person in sight in that sea of white people.
I got a great view of this when delivering pizzas. I had two projects and two trailers parks in our delivery zone. The trailer park was 90% poor white people, the housing projects were 90% poor black people. And I saw lots of kids and women in both areas, but not a lot of adult males.
It isn't a race thing, it's a welfare state thing. Make it profitable, comfortable and simple to be a single mother, and men with adolescent personalities will not feel a strong urge to be responsible, regardless of their skin color.
Agreed but; anglo whites are 6 times in numbers compared to Black people OR "Hispanics: and, many Hispanics are also white.
This is also the controversy forum. The problem in black community is very recognized and in all races fathers not taking responsibility more commonly today. Heck; even with mothers its recognized now days.
It may be more dominant in black communities, mostly in large cities, but other ethnic groups aren't far behind.
Hispanics, white people, you name it. In the near future it will be the same for all.
But the real change is in women. They didn't accept this way in the past, now it's OK. Children are those who suffer most.
Quote:
Originally Posted by PedroMartinez
Stats and links please.
Unless talking about rape or incest: women DO control their bodies and, have the RIGHT to tell a horny dude NO tail unless you marry me 1st. Then it's on the dude to either do what she wants or, find another woman.
Black males get arrested due to increased harrassment over being black males. If white males were harrassed as much as black males, then crime statistics would increase for white males.
I would be willing to bet most are arrested due to being suspected or for the actual commission of a crime, then many choose to run from or fight with the police. Very few if any are arrested for no reason as you suggest.
The chronic problem with absentee fathers in the black community goes a long way to explaining why the leading cause of death of black males between 17 and 35 in America is 1st degree murder by another black male.
I would be willing to bet most are arrested due to being suspected or for the actual commission of a crime, then many choose to run from or fight with the police. Very few if any are arrested for no reason as you suggest.
I have been arrested for no reason and I am a black woman. So has my husband and all of the charges were dismissed. In my case I even sued the arresting authority.
Many black people are arrested for no reason at all or because an officer doesn't like their tone of voice or attitude. You don't know what you're talking about and since you probably aren't a black man nor have you lived in an area as a black man where police constantly are trying to find a reason to arrest you, you would never understand that this sort of thing happens to black people every day.
I have shared before that I have a friend who was arrested for murder in 2009. A group of 10 black men were arrested as it happened at a club where someone was shot in the parking lot. Only 2 of those black men were actually convicted of the crime. My friend was not convicted but spent nearly 9months in jail, lost his job, his apartment and his car. His life was ruined over being arrested when he had done nothing. Police "suspect" black people of doing crime just because they are black and believe, due to societal racism espoused by you and others that black people are "more likely to be criminals." That is not true at all. No one's ethnicity makes them more likely to be criminals.
Regarding your last paragraph, if you are blaiming cultural white supremacy for the deterioration of the black family why was the black family just as strong, if not stronger leading up to the 60's?
Statistics indicate single parent homes are more prevalent in black families. It is not really even debatable. Half this thread has been about redefining commonly understood terminology to discredit the statistics to ignore a problem. We then follow that up with including other races who have the same problem but at a lower rate as a justification for the higher rate in the black community. It is true that blacks do get more unwanted attention on this forum compared to other minorities, but I believe that is because "black" is the (ironically) stereotypical american Minority.
I did not say that at all nor did I make an assumption as such. I stated that the reason people PERCEIVE that black men abandon their children more than other ethnicities is due to the system of white supremacy in this country. The system of white supremacy assumes that blacks are inferior in every way. Even though black men are not inferior when it comes to having contact with their children and not abandoning those children, people in our country believe that they are inferior fathers no matter what data proves this is not true and they will go to great lengths to prove black inferiority in almost every aspect of daily life. Therefore, the system of white supremacy (whites are better at all things than blacks) is the reason why people perceive that black men abandon their children at a high level when that is not true at all.
Please see below for an example of those who continue to try to prove the inferiority of blacks when faced with data that contradicts their societal beliefs (one that are based upon the systematic ideology of white supremacy)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chuckity
I really hate when statistics are twisted and misrepresented - and I'm not blaming you, just the statistics as they are represented in the Myth of the Missing Black Father.
The data does show that a slightly higher percentage of black men who do not live with their children have contact with them vs white men. 1%-10% depending on the category.
The HUGE difference comes in the percentages between men at home vs men who are not in the home. For example, for the age range 5-18, 67% of black men who lived in the home talked to their children daily. Only 17% of black men who lived outside of the home spoke with their children on a daily basis. That's a big gap.
When you take into account that (these are 2013 figures) 67% percent of black children live in a single parent home vs only 25% of white children, that's where the absentee father stereotype comes in.
Let's flip the numbers. (Using the age range 5-18)
33% percent of black children live in a 2 parent household. 67.4% of those fathers spoke with their kids daily. Of the 67% of black children who live w/o their fathers, only 17.8% spoke w/ their father daily.
75% of white children live in a 2 parent household. 67% of those fathers spoke with their kids daily. Of the 25% of white children who live w/o their fathers, only 16.1% spoke w/ their father daily.
No matter what color you are, the statistics show that if a father is in the house, there is more contact between him and the children.
The bold black makes a statement that they hate when statistics are used to prove that black men are not inferior to other men/fathers.
Oddly enough, the red bold admits that the data does show what I stated above, yet the poster chose to speak on custodial versus non-custodial parents (something I also addressed as my topic regarding these studies and the book "The Myth of the Missing Black Father") when I only spoke of non-custodial fathers in my post and the fact that they do not abandon their children and are more likely to be in contact with and provide financial support to them versus other ethnicities. Even though a higher percentage of black fathers are non-custodial parents, they still have higher rates of contact, visitation, and financial support versus other non-custodial men of different ethnicities.
Even when faced with data that contradicts the white supremacy system's views of the inferiority of the black father, people who adhere to that system do not want to admit that black men do not abandon their children any more than any other man of a different ethnic background. Black men are less likely to be a custodial parent but that doesn't mean they ABANDON their children, which is the premise of this thread - the OP PERCEIVED that black men abandon their children. I provided evidence that shows they do not abandon their children more than other ethnicities. Not being married to the mother doesn't mean one abandons their child.
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