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Old 05-23-2015, 06:21 PM
 
Location: My beloved Bluegrass
20,123 posts, read 16,144,906 times
Reputation: 28332

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zimbochick View Post
Why? Rather keep it all under wraps? The organization he is directing is teaching people that following Duggar-style lifestyles will prevent sexual assaults, a fact that is patently untrue (obviously). I think it is essential that it stays up unless you are saying it is untrue?
Because the identities of the victims, who were minors at the time and one who is still a minor, are clear. The victims, you know the people actually impacted by the act. It is absolutely jaw dropping how many people are so busy getting their hate on that they don't care that those girls are being re-victimized.
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When I post in bold red that is moderator action and, per the TOS, can only be discussed through Direct Message.Moderator - Diabetes and Kentucky (including Lexington & Louisville)

 
Old 05-23-2015, 06:32 PM
 
10,196 posts, read 9,877,050 times
Reputation: 24135
Quote:
Originally Posted by Oldhag1 View Post
Because the identities of the victims, who were minors at the time and one who is still a minor, are clear. The victims, you know the people actually impacted by the act. It is absolutely jaw dropping how many people are so busy getting their hate on that they don't care that those girls are being re-victimized.
I don't fully agree they are being revictomized and this is from a survivor of child sexual abuse. including incest and rape. It took me until I was 30 to disclose, when someone shone a light on it and told me it wasn't my shame to carry.

I don't believe the abuse has stopped and the only way to get it out of the darkness and protect those needed protection, and those who need to have space to heal...the only way to do it shine a light on it.

Remember, for every rat you see.....
 
Old 05-23-2015, 06:33 PM
 
13,410 posts, read 9,941,794 times
Reputation: 14343
Quote:
Originally Posted by Oldhag1 View Post
Because the identities of the victims, who were minors at the time and one who is still a minor, are clear. The victims, you know the people actually impacted by the act. It is absolutely jaw dropping how many people are so busy getting their hate on that they don't care that those girls are being re-victimized.
Oh for pity's sake.

The victims have been paraded around on tv since they were minor children. That's why we know who they are. THE PARENTS revictimised them by being so bloody daft and self righteous in their deeply disingenuous humility as to do that in the first place.

They and all the elders, corrupt cops, and other supposed adult persons in their lives failed them. FAILED THEM.

Not us. You are seriously misplacing blame here. It rests with no one but Michelle and Jim Bob.
 
Old 05-23-2015, 06:40 PM
 
6,459 posts, read 12,023,273 times
Reputation: 6395
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr_Geek View Post
This is what happens when you don't let your kids even dance to cartoon music because it is too "suggestive".
Lol!

I don't watch this show, but I found the mother to be a very selfish woman to keep giving birth to all of those children. It's like her husband probably had some sort of sexual fetish seeing her with child.

I also read that she didn't raise the kids. The older ones would be assigned a child to do the duties of the mother (i.e., feed, change, bathe, etc.).
 
Old 05-23-2015, 06:44 PM
 
10,196 posts, read 9,877,050 times
Reputation: 24135
Quote:
Originally Posted by marilyn220 View Post
Lol!

I don't watch this show, but I found the mother to be a very selfish woman to keep giving birth to all of those children. It's like her husband probably had some sort of sexual fetish seeing her with child.

I also read that she didn't raise the kids. The older ones would be assigned a child to do the duties of the mother (i.e., feed, change, bathe, etc.).
They are "quverful"

What Is Quiverfull? Here’s a look inside the Duggars’ dangerous Christian cult

Quiverfull - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Lots of interesting info on it if you Google it. Women submit, birth as many babies and wear them like badges of honor. Their only job, really.
 
Old 05-23-2015, 07:05 PM
 
8,440 posts, read 13,431,476 times
Reputation: 6289
Default "Counseling Location for Josh Duggar"

While Michelle admits Josh did not receive counseling ( and we can be certain no Duggar Victim daughter did), some seem confused about the facility Josh was sent to in Little Rock. It is indeed affiliated with the Quiverfull Movement head by Mr. Gothard (spelling?). This is the same man who was accused of sexual harassment by three dozen plus adult women and I believe convicted of child sexual abuse. I could be wrong about the last part. There is no shortage of teenage girls who have accused this single leader of sexually abusing them. I thought one or more had finally been successful in court.

This is the same guy who is in charge of the home school program the Duggars use and promote. Independence and higher education for girls is not exactly promoted.

To many who wonder how could parents protect a perpetrating son over several daughters and not have Josh prosecuted as a juvenile, this should give some insight to BJ'S and M ' s mindset.

The source is from the dailybeast, which I don't read regularly or post. I'm making an exception this time as the article stays totally on task and connects so many dots. I had no idea the Quiverfull crowd had a facility in Indiana as well as AR. It explains a bit more of how come victims would remain silent.

I think we don't have any idea of how many victims Josh has. One has to wonder, given the age his sisters were, if MacKenzie should be evaluated? I totally expect Josh and Anna to move back to AR. Perhaps that is part of why records had to be destroyed as Child Protective Services may have been required to talk to MacKenzie alone. I'm not sure but think MacKenzie is about 6 y.o. That's only three years younger than the youngest sister Josh violated.

For the record, I hope AR has also changed their policy of having the mother sit in an interview where a family member has sexually abused the child. That is total intimidation, especially if these "Counseling Centers" happened to be mentioned at home. Trained experts can manage children three and older. A lot of states will have a professional, unrelated volunteer attend with the child. I have no problem with that as long as no adult has a vested interest in the outcome of the interview.

How The Duggars

MSR
 
Old 05-23-2015, 07:15 PM
 
Location: Tucson for awhile longer
8,869 posts, read 16,311,226 times
Reputation: 29240
Quote:
Originally Posted by Icemodeled View Post
TLC has them on air because of ratings, they have ran for many seasons and up until now TLC had no reason to cancel, so why would they? Just about every show on TLC is mindless crap.

jukes, which lifestyle are you speaking of, Christianity?
No, I am speaking of the Quiverfull movement, which I specifically mentioned in my post. That is a sect of Christian fundamentalists (some would say cult) who believe that women are subservient to men, that each household should have an omnipotent ruler (known as the "father"), and while procreation is going on at rabbit speed in the parents' bedroom, the children are not taught anything about their sexuality, sight of the human body is repressed, all interactions between young adults are monitored by adults who subscribe to this belief system, and mindless obedience is demanded. That, to me, sounds more like ISIS than Christianity.

Not everyone raised in a sexually repressive atmosphere turns to deviant sexual behavior and some children survive cults of all types with their individuality in tact. But it's especially hard for girls to learn to say NO in an environment where they are taught to be obedient to males and they might not even understand what being molested means. But it's a lot easier and more likely for people to develop healthy psyches in environments with balanced attitudes toward sexual equality and human sexuality — which it's certainly possible for people to provide their children WHILE practicing Christianity.

Personally, I believe the Family Research Council was using Josh Duggar to get publicity and gain additional access to politicians representing conservative areas. And I believe TLC was using the whole family in a capitalist company's unending worship of the profit motive. But Mr. and Mrs. Duggar are adults and are responsible for this brood they grew for whatever unusual motive. They know what kind of behavior was going on behind closed doors in their household. They knew they had secrets to hide from TLC. But they just couldn't resist the money and personal adulation. And as a result they are subjecting their brainwashed daughters to suffer further. It's tragic for Josh's victims and his parents should be ashamed of their behavior.

We have freedom of religion in this country. Which is great. You're a Christian, fine. You're a Muslim, fine. We also have freedom from religion, so you're an atheist, that's fine, too. But once the practices of ANY belief system cross over into behavior that is against the laws of the land, that's not fine. By manipulating the local justice system to cover up their son's actions, not-fine is where the Duggars are today and deserve to remain.
 
Old 05-23-2015, 07:23 PM
 
Location: My beloved Bluegrass
20,123 posts, read 16,144,906 times
Reputation: 28332
Quote:
Originally Posted by HighFlyingBird View Post
I don't fully agree they are being revictomized and this is from a survivor of child sexual abuse. including incest and rape. It took me until I was 30 to disclose, when someone shone a light on it and told me it wasn't my shame to carry.

I don't believe the abuse has stopped and the only way to get it out of the darkness and protect those needed protection, and those who need to have space to heal...the only way to do it shine a light on it.

Remember, for every rat you see.....
It was your choice to disclose, it should be their choice whether or not to disclose also.
Quote:
Originally Posted by FinsterRufus View Post
Oh for pity's sake.

The victims have been paraded around on tv since they were minor children. That's why we know who they are. THE PARENTS revictimised them by being so bloody daft and self righteous in their deeply disingenuous humility as to do that in the first place.

They and all the elders, corrupt cops, and other supposed adult persons in their lives failed them. FAILED THEM.

Not us. You are seriously misplacing blame here. It rests with no one but Michelle and Jim Bob.
Like I said, re-victimization. So, if you happen to win the crappy parent lottery it is alright for society to afford you less respect, rights, or dignity? You aren't entitled to keep an event that involved you being sexually abused as a child private? If the adults in your life failed you as a child, that means it is perfectly fine for you to not be afforded the same rights as someone who had parents that actually protected them, and therefore probably need that protection less? So, in your world, if the parents exploit a child then that is free licence for everyone else to exploit them too, do I understand that correctly? Because that is not the way it is supposed to work in my world.
__________________
When I post in bold red that is moderator action and, per the TOS, can only be discussed through Direct Message.Moderator - Diabetes and Kentucky (including Lexington & Louisville)
 
Old 05-23-2015, 07:25 PM
 
9,153 posts, read 9,484,502 times
Reputation: 14039
About judging other's lifestyles. I viewed a video of Michelle's views on modesty. Her beliefs are pretty much how I was raised.

I was also raised in a fundamentalist church that taught girls it was our duty to make sure we didn't make males think bad thoughts or do bad things. God made us more in control of our lust so it was our job to stop males who tried to get sexual. I believed the church whole heartedly and believed my mother when she reinforced it. I believed that if everyone believed this way we would live in a perfect sin-free, crime-free world. I bought into the whole package hook line and sinker.

That didn't keep it from harming me deeply.

It caused PTSD. It caused trust issues. It caused depression. It caused anxiety. It caused social anxiety. It probably caused Borderline Personality.

One of the biggest problems is teaching girls that they have any control over ANYone's thoughts or actions. Nobody can control anyone else. No matter what you do, no matter how modestly you dress, if someone is a molestor they will try it. If someone wants to make sexual comments they will do it even if a women is wearing a burka. You can't make someone, especially a child, responsible for someone else's thoughts or actions without causing harm.

The girl trying to wrap her head around a male being sexual to them even though they are doing everything right is one thing that causes damage. There is no logical answer, but church and parents are teaching that there is, and that she had some part in causing the male to think/speak sexually. The brain has to make sense of it and does so even if it has to resort to contorted thinking. Often the brain concludes that you DID have some part in it. You take some tiny little inconsequential thing and say that was it. It really WAS my fault. I shouldn't have smiled at him. I shouldn't have joked with him. etc. etc. etc.

Another problem with telling the victim she had some part in the act is that it creates a deep feeling of shame and humiliation. So deep that you don't want anyone to know, because if they know then they will know that you brought this crime on yourself. They'll know what a horrible sinful person you are. Because of that, many victims don't report this kind of crime at all whether it's incest, or molestation by someone outside the family.

Even though I completely bought into the fundamentalist religious teachings at the time, I do wish someone had sat me down and told me it wasn't my fault. I wish I had known there was another point of view. I wish they had told me I was the victim of a heinous crime not the perpetrator. Maybe it would not have ocnvinced me at the time. I might have argued and told them they were wrong. But just having that idea spoken to me, having it somewhere in my consciousness, almost certainly would have helped me see earlier where my emotional problems started, helped me understand that non-religious counselors would not judge me negatively because of it. It would have allowed me to get help sooner than I did. I wasted a whole lot of time feeling guilty and sinful and pretty much wasting my life.

I can't imagine too many girls, even those with deeply held faith and prayer and religious beliefs, could come through incest or molestation unscathed when they're being told that God thinks they did something to bring it on themselves. And worse, they believe that they've done something that helped ruin someone else's life. Yes, they feel guilty that their attacker's morals are besmirched and that he could get into trouble and it's all the victim's doing.

There are certain lifestyles that are so harmful that you know very few people can make it thru unscathed. We expect the justice system to protect kids from physical harm and abuse. Why not emotional abuse? Because I can tell you for a fact the emotional abuse of the belief system that I was raised in did so much more harm to me than the physical abuse ever did.

I don't feel like I did choose that lifestyle, either. I was born into it. I was told from the time I was in the womb that this was how I was going to believe and how I was going to live my life.

The belief system I was raised in told you to act happy, to keep sweet no matter what happened because that's what God expected. God gave you this "challenge" and you're expected to deal with it cheerfully. No one would ever have known what I was going thru or how damaged I really was. I haven't watched the show enough to know if that's what the Duggar family religion teaches, but if so then we can't judge how happy they are by how they act.

If I was given the chance to change only thing about my life, it would be to be born to non-fundamentalist parents. That's it. I spent the first 20 years of my adulthood trying to recover from my childhood. That's how much harm it did to me.

Okay this is probably completely disjointed, but I hope at least a few of the points make a little sense.
 
Old 05-23-2015, 07:28 PM
 
1,142 posts, read 1,640,428 times
Reputation: 1510
I remember reading about this Quiver full movement several years ago. The article I read detailed what goes on in this cult from women who were lucky enough to finally escape it. Most of the women end up suffering many physical issues. Their bodies are never fully healed from their last pregnancy before they are pregnant again. Some almost die in childbirth because of it. I don't know how anyone could consider this lifestyle anything less than sick. What kind of man would want his wife to go through so many pregnancies she is at risk of death? I think all this is for the men is some sort of power trip.
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