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Okay, suppose we have two guys, Adam and Steve, who are in a long-term relationship. Adam's family is supportive. Steve's family, on the other hand, upon finding out that he was gay, threatened him with violence, completely disowned him and cut him out of their lives completely, and removed him from receiving an inheritance.
Sadly, Steve falls off of the roof and is mortally injured. While Steve is on life support, his family comes to the hospital and signs papers to take him off life support and for him to pass away. They bar Adam from entering the hospital to say goodbye at the threat of arrest from the police. After Steve passes away, his family quickly takes all of Steve's belongings, has a quiet funeral, and gets a restraining order against Adam so he can never visit Steve's grave nor have any access to any possessions that were in Steve's name originally but that they jointly used as a couple. Any attempts for Adam to honor Steve's memory will be met with the threat of violence.
So my question to you is twofold:
1. Do you think what Steve's family did was acceptable and proper?
2. If you do not, what do you think should be done to help the situation?
Wow. For having "cut him out of their lives completely", sure didn't take long for Steve's family to rush back into the picture and act like he was their beloved son.
Sounds like you are okay with using violence to make others accept adam and steves relationship ( clergy, business, employers etc,) but not okay with it when steves parents use it against adam.
I think all levels of government should be out of the marriage biz and consenting partners can get married in a church and draw up contracts to ensure the above scenario doesnt take place.
Here is a real life example where the family shunned their child's boyfriend. It is really sad and there is a full movie on it too if one is interested. Such an eye opener. It speaks for itself.
1. Do you think what Steve's family did was acceptable and proper?
No.
2. If you do not, what do you think should be done to help the situation?
Treat Adam like Steve's domestic partner and give him the benefits accordingly.
I lost my boyfriend several years ago, and I was not entitled of anything because we were not legally married. Although he wrote in his journal that I was the ONLY woman he has ever loved. It is what it is.
Life is not fair. Heterosexual partners were not treated fairly either, you know.
Adam in this situation should move on with his life.
Last edited by lilyflower3191981; 06-29-2015 at 08:34 PM..
Location: Just transplanted to FL from the N GA mountains
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Seagrape Grove
Wow. For having "cut him out of their lives completely", sure didn't take long for Steve's family to rush back into the picture and act like he was their beloved son.
Unfortunately... that happens in a LOT of families.... The total disrespect I saw out of some of my husband's aunt's and uncles when his father died is indescribable.
I lost my boyfriend several years ago, and I was not entitled of anything because we were not legally married. Although he wrote in his journal that I was the ONLY woman he has ever loved. It is what it is.
Life is not fair. Heteralsexual partners were not treated fairly either, you know.
I'm sorry to hear your history. You had a right to marry. Watch the video I posted above your response and come back with your reaction. If it stays the same then I can only say that you have no compassion. I am very confident that your experience was not the same. Hell, did you attend his funeral? In my example the boyfriend was told nothing and shunned from the family. He could not attend the memorial or funeral service because his boyfriend's father threatened him with violence - he was going to shoot him. Did your boyfriends family tell you not to attend his funeral or they'd shoot you? Anyway, this is very emotional and it anger me to read people like you write such insensitive stuff.
I'm sorry to hear your history. You had a right to marry. Watch the video I posted above your response and come back with your reaction. If it stays the same then I can only say that you have no compassion. I am very confident that your experience was not the same. Hell, did you attend his funeral? In my example the boyfriend was told nothing and shunned from the family. He could not attend the memorial or funeral service because his boyfriend's father threatened him with violence - he was going to shoot him. Did your boyfriends family tell you not to attend his funeral or they'd shoot you? Anyway, this is very emotional and it anger me to read people like you write such insensitive stuff.
I have a lot of compassion, but I am not going to sit here and justify myself to you.
I said, "treat Adam like his domestic partner and give him the benefits accordingly." That is lack of compassion?!
wow, amazing.
Moving on with his life is the ONLY way to get through the pain and struggle. I am saying this because no one cared what I have been through.
Before you judge others, maybe you should put yourself in their shoes.
Battling with unreasonable insane families who are dealing with their own grief is ONLY making matters worse. (based on my own experience)
By the way, I am not against gay marriage, NOT at all.
If you really knew my history (I doubt you do), you would know that my situation with him was not better than Your little example, I lived it. The only difference is I had a heterosexual relationship. Steve's family gave Adam something called "secondary wound", this is something NO one should deal with. Removing himself from this toxic situation is the ONLY way can help him. Join a support group, and move on.
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