Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I didn't say all. I said most and I was basing that on what I know. Good for you that you know so many progressive black men. But here in Orlando Florida on UCF campus you would be hard pressed to find a male who didn't fall into one of those categories.
I wasn't being literal when I said rapper, CEO or stay at home with their mama's but those are the extremes.
The one's who I'd place in the rapper section are those who want a lot of money, really quickly and without really working for it. Many rappers have proved time and time again that you don't have to be talented to be platinum. I know there is more to it then just talking in rhythm with the music but the ones who simply say "I want to be a rapper" don't see rapping as a real job. It's like selling drugs legally.
The one's who I'd place in the CEO section are those who want the biggest houses, the fanciest cars and are planning their careers on how much money they will make rather than how happy they will be in life. They are all about status.
And the one's that stay at home with they mama's - those are the slick talkers, usually very smart but just lazy brothers. If they do move out of mama house, they probably living with another woman.
yes of course I know black men who are very career minded, family oriented and active in their community - my brother happens to be one. BUT the majority of the ones I see coming up now in that 18-25 age group are of a whole different breed.
It's not just the men though it's the generation itself. When I was a teenager, I would have never cursed in public and especially (forgive me if this sounds racist cause it's not meant that way) not in front of white people. I had to catch the city bus the other day and a group of black kids got on at the community college. The bus driver had to ask them 3 times to quiet down and watch the language.
My grandparents raised me to not let stereotypes define my actions.
But these young men and women today seem to be pulling their personalities directly from the movies that portray us in the worst way. Looking at my peers - not my immediate friends but just those in my age group - I don't see those loving, attentive grandmothers who knew every child on the neighborhood. I don't see the lady down the street who had a candy store every summer. I don't see the deacons of the church, or the old men who would sit outside playing dominoes while they watched the kids.
I may not be expressing my point in a way that's understandable to you, but what is frustrating me is that it seems like my peers are basically throwing away everything that our grandparents and great grandparents worked so hard to give us. And once again, I'm wondering what will happen when those older generations have passed on...what will this generation have to pass on to the next?
I'm not even trying to exclude myself from this because I certainly can't teach my daughters how to make my grandmother's candied yams and I know I don't have the work habits of my grandfather. One afternoon in the sun pushing a lawn mower would have done me in
This is a profound piece of writing, and has parallels in ALL groups--not just blacks. Perhaps you feel it more acutely, given the particularly bitter road blacks have traveled...but ALL of us can see young folks 'throwing away' so much of what their predecessors worked so hard for--even the 'respectability' that didn't always come easy.
As for the deteriorating public behavior, the loss of 'manners' and general, all-around disrespect, that's pretty much society-wide. Those of us who once 'knew it' can only mourn its loss...those who came along later, (I guess) will never miss it...but it 'stings'..the way people treat each other, that young folks treat their 'elders', the way that young guys treat young girls .and vice -versa. And our society has rewarded some its most uncouth, loud-mouth, vulgar slobs, by making them millionaires,,so I guess that's what we "want"--or so I'm told..And of course, in order to 'fit in', those who SHOULD be setting the example (Teachers, Police Officers, etc.) now try to be 'cool'....and they do a HORRIBLE job of it. Nothing looks 'sillier' than a 'cool' policeman, or a 'cool' teacher...yet these folks feel they HAVE to 'fit in' to reach 'the kids'....
Not your imagination, Natalay--- it's happening everywhere. I guess people look at it as a sort of statement of 'freedom' of sorts--like the "freedom to act like a jackass'...pretty sorry kind of freedom, but we'd better get used to it. I doubt we'll see 'good manners' make a comeback anytime soon..
Hey macmeal, to bad, I didn't get to tango with you. We don't see eye to eye, but I've always had a great deal of respect with your attempt to try and articulate your points with thought and (somewhat) of an open mind
We'll have a chance to "go around' on another post... AS I said, I got into this thread on a slight misunderstanding of the OP's meaning....and caused an unintended 'uproar'...By the time I read it OVER, I realized my mistake...but we had fun, didn't we?...
Education, taking care of one's self, getting married, working, and taking pride in manners and a work ethic are all black values. Now, those in the black ghettos and white media would have you think otherwise, so when you say something that offensive i think you need to articulate exactly what you mean. White views as in what? What exactly are white views? and furthermore what are black views?
If you continue to say this for the next 20 years, maybe eventually some folks will 'get it'. I know it to be true, but it seems much of the media and the 'elite', and the 'angry black activists' ALL disagree. There is NOT a "black way to act" vs a "white way"....but that's not what makes for a 'juicy story'...so we continue to hear the same tired lines out of the 60's.....blacks who do all the "respectable stuff' that you described, are somehow seen as "not REALLY black".....because they're adopting 'white views'..It's a terribly destructive philosophy, with no possible 'good end', and its extremely insulting to everyone who goes for this nonsense. Unfortunately, it not only occurs in the media, it also occurs in the workplace....
But, unfortunately, angry, dysfunctional, self-destructive people make for "good copy", while quiet, hard-working people are looked at as 'boring'. So guess who we see on TV and movies?...
This is a profound piece of writing, and has parallels in ALL groups--not just blacks. Perhaps you feel it more acutely, given the particularly bitter road blacks have traveled...but ALL of us can see young folks 'throwing away' so much of what their predecessors worked so hard for--even the 'respectability' that didn't always come easy.
As for the deteriorating public behavior, the loss of 'manners' and general, all-around disrespect, that's pretty much society-wide. Those of us who once 'knew it' can only mourn its loss...those who came along later, (I guess) will never miss it...but it 'stings'..the way people treat each other, that young folks treat their 'elders', the way that young guys treat young girls .and vice -versa. And our society has rewarded some its most uncouth, loud-mouth, vulgar slobs, by making them millionaires,,so I guess that's what we "want"--or so I'm told..And of course, in order to 'fit in', those who SHOULD be setting the example (Teachers, Police Officers, etc.) now try to be 'cool'....and they do a HORRIBLE job of it. Nothing looks 'sillier' than a 'cool' policeman, or a 'cool' teacher...yet these folks feel they HAVE to 'fit in' to reach 'the kids'....
Not your imagination, Natalay--- it's happening everywhere. I guess people look at it as a sort of statement of 'freedom' of sorts--like the "freedom to act like a jackass'...pretty sorry kind of freedom, but we'd better get used to it. I doubt we'll see 'good manners' make a comeback anytime soon..
Part of the problem is today's tv catering to the lowest common denominator, which is influenced by us, the American consumer. In the old days, the only people that ever made it on TV were the rich and elite of society, the people with manners and class. Then when the middle class grew in size all you saw were middle class families on the tv (for the most part). Now a days if you want to get on TV all you have to do is act like a total idiot, lack any respect for youself and others, cuss, act gross, fight, and any list of over idiotic activities.
However, blaming the media is foolish, because they only produce what we watch and over the last 20 years Americans have consistently demanded watching our lower classes embarass themselves for our amusement. Sure, this sort of programming has been going on for a long time, but not at the rate we currently see it.
Can you explain to me this comment, what exaclty do you mean by this? What the heck are white views? Please articulate a response. I'm black my grandfather a very darkskinned black male graduated from an all white college in mid-west in the 1950's (after attending an all black college for the first 3 years) went on to get his master degree in the 1960's from a fairly prestigious all white college in the south. My grandmother who is french/black/indian also did the same long before civil rights movement.
Anyway, point is to tell you not all black people were out being the victims of society even in the 1900's, 1920's, 1930's, 1940's, 1950's, and 1960's. When you make a comment about blacks inheriting "white views" what does that actually mean? Last time I checked every last black american that is either the decendants of slaves or slave masters speaks the King's English and not in some African tongue, so it would seem that all blacks have inherited "white views" some choose the educated whites way of life, while others have choosen the "redneck whites" way of life.
Education, taking care of one's self, getting married, working, and taking pride in manners and a work ethic are all black values. Now, those in the black ghettos and white media would have you think otherwise, so when you say something that offensive i think you need to articulate exactly what you mean. White views as in what? What exactly are white views? and furthermore what are black views?
There is a difference between being successful and looking down on people becuase of it. There are a great many examples of the upper-class manager dumping on the worker brother in order to fit in with the country club white folk. Don't get me wrong, people like Bill Cosby are dead on, but rather than point fingers at your bretheren, why not try to help for a change.
AAs will swear on a stack of pancakes that they dispise the "gated community" atmosphere of upper-class whites/asians, only for people like myself to find them in those very communites. It's sad that when I go to Inner Philadelphia, the overwhelming amount of the social workers/voulenteers/gentrifiers are whites. What does that tell you?
Education, taking care of one's self, getting married, working, and taking pride in manners and a work ethic are all black values. Now, those in the black ghettos and white media would have you think otherwise, so when you say something that offensive i think you need to articulate exactly what you mean. White views as in what? What exactly are white views? and furthermore what are black views?
I know this; you know this; and the majority of our community knows this. Yet our community is consistently depicted and portrayed by (a) the small percentage of Black folk who don't know this; and (b) the vast majority of non-Black media who have no clue one way or the other.
I know this; you know this; and the majority of our community knows this. Yet our community is consistently depicted and portrayed by (a) the small percentage of Black folk who don't know this; and (b) the vast majority of non-Black media who have no clue one way or the other.
Why do you suppose that is?
Because it sells. Flavor of Love shouldn't have made it past the 1st season. I Love New York never should have came about. And that show with 3 6 Mafia, come on. And I will bet you $1000 that in real life, none of them act like that. You think they're clowning around and acting ignorant in those board meetings when its time to discuss their contracts? Its about money and folks will sell themselves out to get it.
(I know the question was directed at Truthhurts but I wanted to share my opinion)
Because it sells. Flavor of Love shouldn't have made it past the 1st season. I Love New York never should have came about. And that show with 3 6 Mafia, come on. And I will bet you $1000 that in real life, none of them act like that. You think they're clowning around and acting ignorant in those board meetings when its time to discuss their contracts? Its about money and folks will sell themselves out to get it.
(I know the question was directed at Truthhurts but I wanted to share my opinion)
I won't take your $1000 bet, because I'd lose. Undoubtedly, as you say, they DON'T act like that.....The PROBLEM, though, is that 90% of their audience doesn't realize that fact....and the audience thinks they DO "act like that".....and then, when they emulate the behavior they see on TV, and encounter problems in their OWN life, they don't see the connection.
I've always marveled at the fact that TV executives and industry 'boosters" will go on all day long, singing the praises of "educational Television" and the wonderful world it opens up for its young viewers, as it exposes their minds to a 'whole world of new experience".....Yet, these VERY SAME individuals, when questioned about any "negative" effect coming from violent or degrading TV shows, will loudly insist that the 'bad' stuff has NO EFFECT WHATSOEVER on young people--that they recognize it's "just entertainment", and it never influences their outlook or behavior.....(and besides THAT, they'll say, if you have a problem with YOUR KID watching it, just turn it off---don't come 'whining to me' about YOUR kid misbehaving after he watches MY show).....
This is a profound piece of writing, and has parallels in ALL groups--not just blacks. Perhaps you feel it more acutely, given the particularly bitter road blacks have traveled...but ALL of us can see young folks 'throwing away' so much of what their predecessors worked so hard for--even the 'respectability' that didn't always come easy.
Not your imagination, Natalay--- it's happening everywhere. I guess people look at it as a sort of statement of 'freedom' of sorts--like the "freedom to act like a jackass'...pretty sorry kind of freedom, but we'd better get used to it. I doubt we'll see 'good manners' make a comeback anytime soon..
I do know that this is a problem that's happening in all groups but I guess since I'm black, what I see in the black community affects me more than when I see it on a national level.
I have a younger cousin who has 2 kids already and will probably be on her 3rd by the time I finish this post and everytime I talk to her, all she talks about is hair, clothes, nails, music videos...she's 17. She's still in school but she's more interested in what people are wearing and who's going with who then trying to learn anything. Where will she be in 40 years? Better yet, what is she going to teach this two little girls she has?
My youngest brother walks around with his pants falling off his behind and 3X T-shirts all the time. He's got tattoos all over his arms, back and neck and several gold teeth. Then he wonders why he can't get a "decent" job. According to him ,everybodies racist and he's not going to play step-n-fetch it for nobody. So he'd rather sit at home on his mother's couch and play video games. And she allows this.
I don't understand what's happened. When my mom was a child, EVERYBODY in the family worked, before my grandfather had his business he worked in the grove and on the weekends my mom, aunts and uncles would have to go pick fruit with him. No one was allowed to just sit at home. What happened to our parents that made them choose to let their kids just do whatever? A few years ago many families were bragging about sons and daughters being the first to graduate from college - so why is that these same sons & daughters, now mothers and fathers, aren't pushing their kids the same way their parents pushed them.
I actually asked my mother why she never attempted to teach me how to cook or sew and she responded she never liked cooking or sewing, it was just something her mother made her do.
It's okay that you said it. I know many successful black men who are married to white women. I'm not against interracial relationships, but I do hate to see those ones who feel that having a white wife is some of kind of status symbol. i.e the trophy wife. On the flip side of that, I also hate to see the ones who claim they married a white woman because she is easier to "handle". Marry who you want because you love them not because she'll blend in at the office party or play Donna Reed at home.
What about successful white men who marry black women.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
On the flip side of that, I also hate to see the ones who claim they married a white woman because she is easier to "handle"
. Marry who you want because you love them not because she'll blend in at the office party or play Donna Reed at home.
