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MOST BW do not view BM as "the enemy". We collectively continue to support and advocate for BM no matter how much we are disrespected.....collectively.
FWIW, I do not believe most BW view BM as the enemy. That said, there is a segment of them that do and it's like "everyone is not out to get you!".
BW have a "rising tides raise all ships" approach to BM and we tend to personally make strides that are in the best interest of the entire BC....usually. In general, BM tend to look out for their own best interest...period.
I don't know if I agree with that. I have the feeling that deep down MOST BM are concerned about BW and their issues even if they don't openly admit it. Why be secretive? I honestly can't answer that one, other than it being a pride issue.
Yes. I don't understand why you view the other thread as a failure. Many things of importance were expressed.
While many things of importance were expressed, there were select individuals who simply saw the thread as "gaslighting".
Here are a couple of quotes from one individual who goes by "Racks"
"Short answer: No. Black women do not owe black men unity.
Black women are WOMEN first, not black. We deserve the BEST deal as women and gladly a lot of us are starting to see that black men collectively hold us back from that. Black men need to focus on being MEN which means holding other black men accountable for not taking care of their children and leaving their communities in a cesspool of violence, abuse, and disease. Black men need to find a way, just like other non-white races of men, to build for their women and children. This requires that black men become educated in either a skill or trade that is relevant in society. None of this black men WANT to do, even though the "evil" white man has provided many opportunities (low income scholarships, grants, etc) in order for you to do as such. Black women are no longer going to be gaslighted and have the wool pooled over her eyes by your ineptness and failure to take responsibility for yourselves as men.
It is interesting that we see these threads and pleads on social media from black man to unify AFTER black women are starting to wake up to the reality of who black men collectively are - and consequently adapt their mating and dating choices to reflect such. Black men have held very selective, colorist ideals of black women for for too long. You all degrade and defame us in your rap lyrics and music videos. Instead of appreciating us you lust after the whitest, brightest woman you can get. And for those that do entertain black women you leave us unmarried baby mommas. You don't want us to wear makeup, you tell us to remain "thick" aka obese only to not draw the attention of other races of men who come to benefit us.
The best, brightest, and most desirable black women are moving on and forward. Sorry this is done so publicly but you all have spent the last 10 years defaming our image we feel it's only appropriate to return the favor. So no - we are not marching for you, pleading with you for our humanity, and we are not blaming white men for your failures as men but instead accepting their offers for romantic love and marriage which will benefit us."
"Oh honey you didn't get the memo? Black women should give up everything that is important to her (youth, beauty, sex, children, money, etc) for a black man so long as he stayed off the prison yard and got a job at FedEx. We are not supposed to have any expectations of him or his limitations because of dwight mann. We are not supposed to expect real dates, courting, and god forbid marriage. Black women = gold digger. White women = smart. Black men gaslight black AMERICAN women into being soldiers for the race because if they didn't we would be out here like every other woman on this planet looking for the best deal regardless of his complexion.
This thread is a form of gaslighting: Black men always want to talk, negotiate and try to police and dominate us and our choices instead of strategizing and building with other black men so they can compete with the white man they so desperately want to emulate. The so-called "good black man" needs to focus on banding together with men instead of trying to bring black women back into the fold. They want the white man's status, his power, his money, and his woman but do nothing necessary to establish themselves as men in a patriarchal society. Just talk or complain about racism."
The bolded came from a black woman.
Here's a quote basically agreeing w/ the quote above.
"If only we could create a t-shirt with the bolded words and disperse it to EVERY Black woman in America!"
Why? Again, why are the issues/concerns/injustices of BW not of interest to BM? Are we not also black? How would BM feel if BW simply said that we are not concerned about any issues regarding BM? They should be, however some obviously do not feel that way. Yes there were BM who at the beginning of the thread said they would not discuss it as they would rather discuss it in a more black oriented blog site. It would suck if BW suddenly just gave BM the middle finger, just like it would suck if all BM did the same thing. I was merely suggesting that MAYBE, that particular conversation by BM when it comes to BW issues should be discussed more privately.
Why are BM okay with this one-sided loyalty and do you honestly believe that it is fair to BW? I'm not okay w/ it and I don't think it's fair.
None of you were even willing to come to the table to discuss issues/concerns/injustices visited upon BW. Once again, BW are asked to handle BM with the utmost delicacy yet there is not even a hint of reciprocity.
BW are tired of it. We really are.
ETA: In the recent past I have helped two black guys at my job (who specifically asked for my assistance) and at the first opportunity each one stabbed me in the back. Its exhausting.
I don't know if I agree w/ the idea that you are asked to handle BM w/ the utmost "delicacy". I truly am sorry for the BM who have given you a hard time and have stabbed you in the back and it is unfortunate that it's the BM in your life that you've received the most hell from. It's quite troubling actually. I can understand you being more or less on guard, however, it's unfair to make a blanket assumption.
The colorism issue is one that has changed substantially since my youth, and I've spoken about it. Colorism today has a different root and is being fed by a different fertilizer than the colorism of my youth. In fact, it's a new thing of the Millennial generation, and unlike segregation, it's a problem Millennials own themselves, not something they've inherited from us.
In my generation, I could say and defend, "Nobody is free until everybody is free," but it doesn't work that way for Millennials, primarily because American society is now successfully creating a separate "biracial" racial category that did not exist before.
Interesting that you bring this up. I'm relatively young and even as a kid, we often went by that one drop rule, however it seems in this part of the 21st century, we are now calling it what it is. I also have to say that when it comes to bi-racial people w/ a black parent, they don't all identify w/ their black side (some not at all). At the same time thought, in a predominately white environment, that biracial kid is going to be seen as the token black kid in many cases.
None of you were even willing to come to the table to discuss issues/concerns/injustices visited upon BW. Once again, BW are asked to handle BM with the utmost delicacy yet there is not even a hint of reciprocity.
BW are tired of it. We really are.
ETA: In the recent past I have helped two black guys at my job (who specifically asked for my assistance) and at the first opportunity each one stabbed me in the back. Its exhausting.
That discussion--just as this one--boiled down to "all black men suck." That is not a "discussion."
Okay, I read about that. It sounds like a few black students raised money and formed it. I don't believe that this was funded by the university in and of itself. That said, a focus group or get together would have been more appropriate. The separate graduation ceremony? Idk if it was needed.
Quit making excuses & giving racists the benefit of the doubt.
I do want to step into this conversation for a moment (I am a white woman). I find that so many of the people I encounter who are racists have never even interacted with anyone of another race, and base their hateful or covert racism on what they think they know about people. I have always believed in taking people as they come, interacting with all people equally and let them show me who they are, individually. It has been a good way to live and learn, and I have learned from many friends who help me to see the world through their eyes. It makes for a more rich and diverse experience, which people who insist on remaining in their racist "box" don't get to experience.
Interesting that you bring this up. I'm relatively young and even as a kid, we often went by that one drop rule, however it seems in this part of the 21st century, we are now calling it what it is. I also have to say that when it comes to bi-racial people w/ a black parent, they don't all identify w/ their black side (some not at all). At the same time thought, in a predominately white environment, that biracial kid is going to be seen as the token black kid in many cases.
"Back in the day," the "one drop rule" was a player because that's how we were all treated by white society, including bi-racial people (who were rare because it was still illegal in a lot of places and extremely socially punished most everywhere else).
There is a myth among young people today that light-skinned blacks got preferential treatment from whites back in the day, but not really. Whites were not colorist--as far as they were concerned, black was black, and "black, stay back." The old "house slave/field slave" issue wasn't all it seemed, at least not under Jim Crow. Being light-skinned got nobody through a "Whites Only" door. Light-skinned blacks understood that even if they considered themselves "whiter," they were still just n!&&@#s to white society.
That's why there were just as many angry light-skinned blacks as dark-skinned blacks. Nobody yet is as black as light-skinned Angela Davis (who President Nixon called "the most dangerous woman in America").
For the first time, now, white society openly gives certain people preferential treatment.
I work with a lot of Post-Millennial kids, and I'm watching how this is playing out:
Observing the dark-skinned kids noting that the light-skinned kids get preferential treatment. Yes, they notice it young.
Listening to a cluster of bi-racial high schoolers talking about how great it is to be light-skinned and getting preferential treatment...yes, they notice it, too.
Seeing the non-biracial light-skinned kids (both parents black, light-skinned by roll of the genetic dice) not fitting in with either group.
Listening to dark-skinned grade-school girls wondering between themselves if a particular other grade-school girl--dark skinned--is mixed because of the long (obvious to me) weave she's wearing.
Okay, I read about that. It sounds like a few black students raised money and formed it. I don't believe that this was funded by the university in and of itself. That said, a focus group or get together would have been more appropriate. The separate graduation ceremony? Idk if it was needed.
No, it was not funded by the university. It was a separate post-graduation event.
Moreover, other groups, such as the Hillel Jewish group, have been doing the same thing for years. And they're probably not the only ones. There are a number of essentially all-white East European groups that probably have post-graduation events.
I mentioned a week or so ago how other immigrant groups have been able to get together and do things for themselves without interference from whites, but blacks have always suffered under the intense scrutiny and interference of whites whenever we get something of our own going. This is another example.
Last edited by Ralph_Kirk; 05-17-2017 at 12:18 PM..
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