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I wrote this a few years ago. its a bit out of date but it fits.
I don't care if Brittany Spears is a bad mom. I don't care if she is hooked on pain killers or goes to the hospital nekked or kisses Madonna. I don't even care that she lost Justin Timberlake as a boyfriend because she didn't know who Yoko Ono is. I wish I didn't know who Yoko Ono is. The fact that I know she fancies herself as a pretty sharp Haikou writer makes me want to puke!
The only thing I care about Brittany Spears is that she is from Louisiana. I HATE that fact. It makes me sick to my stomach because I am from Louisiana and all we are really known for is Brittany Spears and the Jena 6. Good grief. Why can’t she be Oklahoma trailer trash? Why can’t she be from California or some other place where idiots seem to congregate?
I don't care about that little trollop Lindsey Lohan. I don't care if she likes both boys and girls. I don't care if she drinks too much or takes dope. I just don't care. I can tell you I don't want my kids even knowing that there is such a thing as a Lindsey Lohan. That's for sure. I hate the fact that I know this stuff but if you turn on the radio you get stupid "news" blurbs that tell you this junk. Good grief. Fox News even tells me about these idiots.
I don't care who in hollywierd is sleeping with whom. I don't care if Brangelena just adopted a kid from Outer Mongolia with 4 arms growing out of its forehead. I don't care if Sean Penn wrote some letter to God or Jesus or George Bush or the DNC. I simply don't care.
***Note to Sean**** YOUR AN ACTOR I don't care what you think about pretty much ANYTHING! Just because you have decided to take yourself seriously and wear those stupid pinhead glasses and speak with some supercilious diction doesn't mean the rest of us take you any more seriously than we do that retard SAM you played. Speaking of Sam. that was a great role. I like movies and that was a good one.
So with all the advice you've been dishing out, how about you take this advice. SHUT UP AND ACT!
And I don't care about Charlie Sean and that tramp ex-wife of his: what's her face? Good grief girl, you married a guy who's own father had him locked up because he was about to kill himself with drugs! He bragged about his romps with hookers and porn stars! Don't get all freaked out when he turns out to not be a nice guy! GET A LIFE AND DON'T TELL ME ABOUT IT!
IDONTCARE!!!!!!!!
Hey look, I like a good movie as much as the next guy. I watch a little TV from time to time. sometimes I even turn off Food Network or the History Channel and actually watch something on regular television. But I don't care what these people do in their real lives. In fact I really wish they didn't have real lives at all. We should lock them all up in jail cells and only let them out to ACT.
And another thing. All you regular Jane's and Jo's out there that buy those stupid magazines dedicated to the worship of these idiots. SHAME ON YOU! You should be sent away to a deserted island and forced to live off banana's and coconut water. You people make me sick!
If I never walk into a grocery store and see some stupid magazine listing which Actresses have cellulite on their butts again it will be too soon!
There. I feel better. How about emailing this rant to 10 of your best friends. Finally there will be something that makes sense on the internet.
I vote for Leo DiCaprio as most annoying and hypocritical celebrity.....someone who flies around the world on his private plane and floats around the oceans on a private yacht while lecturing us about Global Warming. And how many homes does he maintain?
Note OP you FORGOT TO PUT DiCaprio on.
If your carbon emissions are measured in KILOTONS, you should automatically NOT be an advocate of reducing carbon footprint.
He rented a yacht (?a couple times?) that goes 50 FEET to the gallon.
1 gallon is 20 pounds of carbon.
The generators burn like 1000 gallons a day... hey gotta keep your groupies cool.
I like Leonardo DiCaprio's movies, for the most part (not Inception). Both he and Damon were excellent in "The Departed" and Matt Damon was very good in "The Talented Mr. Ripley" and "School Ties" but Damon totally stinks at playing any kind of romantic lead. Totally. Fabulous as a creep. Lousy as a romantic. I have noticed in most of his big movies his romantic scenes are thankfully, brief.
So, let's suppose that some Congressional fanboys called Matt Damon up to Capitol Hill and majorly grilled him at a hearing on why he stinks so bad when it comes to pretending he's a romantic guy in his movies. For an hour or so, they tell him he's not believable when he kisses a woman or tells her he loves her or shows any kind of affection. What's Damon going to say? He's going to tell them they should stick to politics and what makes them experts on romance, anyway?
I like Leonardo DiCaprio's movies, for the most part (not Inception). Both he and Damon were excellent in "The Departed" and Matt Damon was very good in "The Talented Mr. Ripley" and "School Ties" but Damon totally stinks at playing any kind of romantic lead. Totally. Fabulous as a creep. Lousy as a romantic. I have noticed in most of his big movies his romantic scenes are thankfully, brief.
So, let's suppose that some Congressional fanboys called Matt Damon up to Capitol Hill and majorly grilled him at a hearing on why he stinks so bad when it comes to pretending he's a romantic guy in his movies. For an hour or so, they tell him he's not believable when he kisses a woman or tells her he loves her or shows any kind of affection. What's Damon going to say? He's going to tell them they should stick to politics and what makes them experts on romance, anyway?
If only. Right back at you, Matt Damon.
This is what happens to people who surround themselves with lemmings to agree with everything they say. They start to believe that they really do know what they are talking about and everyone, not just their lemmings agrees with them.
I think this goes for most liberals. Most people are liberal when they are young, but real life and experience makes them conservative or at least moderate. The only old liberals I know are either really poor and on the dole or really rich and completely out of touch with the reality of most people.
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