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Ohh I could make a compilation of why Florida is the best state EVAR!!!
Both good and bad. Ok. Here goes... Hold my beer watch this!
The good the bad and the ugly of Florida.
Are you a red blooded American that happens to live in the united socialist state of Commiefornia or New York, tired of your 2nd amendment being suppressed by liberal agenda? Brother/sister, come to tropical America. Our beaches are beautiful our women depending on the area... Not so much. But a majority of them are foxes! Do you like cardio? Are you up for a challenge!!!? I've got just the place for you. Can you handle 90-100 degree weather with 80-110% humidity and a high UV index? Well you will. You can easily lose 30 pounds in a month without some creepy diet. Like water? Oh you will. And if you work out doors you will drink 3 gallons of water before noon and not have to take a leak at all!
Enjoy booze? Smoke cigarettes? Our bars you can smoke in. What one domestic light beer goes for in NY you get 2-3 in a bar down here. Area depending. Beer not your thing? Not a problem. We have these things called RumRunners. You're welcome. 151 rum dumped in a slushy that will get you tore up from the floor up! 1 pack of cigarettes in NY get you 3 down here.
Nightlife your game? Ohhhh have I got a treat for you. West palm, Miami... Oh yeah.
Like culture? Like trying new things, this is the epitome of the melting pot as America was intended to be! Ever have real Jamaican jerk? How about Colombian eats? Like Caribbean style? Oh yeah... Cuban-authentic Cuban sammich? Don't count on pizza. I don't know if the humidity messes with the dough or if it's the water... you aren't getting good pizza anywhere in this state. Believe me.
Florida and pizza? No. Finding good pizza in this state is less likely than a legitimate big foot sighting. don't you dare say that out loud you will offend the Florida born...
And unless it's PF changs you aren't getting good chinese cuisine either, North east takes the cake on anything coming out of a wok.
Fancy Thai food though? Oh you can call me Sir Racha. Mmm nom nom...
Fast food junkie? Not anymore! Unless it's Zaxbys Bojangles Chic-fil-a.
Kiss apples goodbye too. NY hands down best apples EVAR the publix stores get their apples from Washington state. You guys, nope. Sorry. Don't know apples from a hole in the ground.
But can I interest you in mangos citrus and exotic fruits you have never heard of? Absolutely!
Don't like pesky state inspections on your car? Have a need? A need for speed!? I95 I'm convinced police don't care if you speed. And nope no car inspections. I95 will remind you of scenes from Mad Max. Crazy driving, and dilapidated cars littering the median almost every 2 miles due to over heating or the bad ball joints finally giving up the ghost and that knuckle exited stage left.
If you can drive in western mass and Boston you'll do just fine down here! Nobody knows what a blind spot or directional is.
That said... The insurance company will raise your rates 200% and brother/sister you had best get at the least the balance of your vehicles loan for uninsured motorist coverage.
Nothing like driving 90-100mph on 95 taking chances changing lanes with an 80 year old in a cadillac stroking out or some jalopy loosing a wheel and knuckle assembly or some smug teen texting away at a blinding speed. Exhilarating!
Hate the cold, I've yet to experience a cold day yet!
Like sports?
Oh my. Gators and Seminoles are religion down here. 10 minutes away in tradition is the Mets spring training camp.
Do you like inhibited freedom!? Ever jump on a Harley or Other motorcycle of your liking and ride up and down the coast without a helmet? And sunglasses? That's FREEDOM!
Like casinos and like to gamble... Have I got just the places for you to check out! Unlike turning stone in Ny they play for keeps at the poker and black jack tables. 50 bucks a hand.
Bugs...
If you can deal with some mutant sized roaches attacking you in a parking lot from time to time, fire ants, winged death you're going to be a okay.
Count on having an exterminator at your house once or twice a month. And if you buy a pool house like I'm doing, make sure you have it screened in, otherwise you will hate life!
Like boats... Plenty of opportunities to enjoy water sports.
Are you a hick like me? Like horses cows and the ability to shoot any critter on your property? Like mud bogging? Ockeechobee.
Nascar. Daytona Nuff said. Daytona has been wimpified for bike week too...Palm beach international speed way-Limerock and a 1/4 mile strip. Still looking for the next lebanon valley speedway!
News, local news is nothing short of entertaining. Oh my Florida man and his wacky adventures provide more laughs than MTVs jackass.. It makes you wonder where people came up with such ideas... Blame it on the heat the Pabst blue ribbon or the meth.
Crime. It varies. Florida in of itself trumps Chicago, we are the gunshine state. We don't call 911.
Concealed carry-no felony? No domestic violence? No open warrants? Not a problem. $55 dollars the safety course and in 3 months you can practice your god given 2nd amendment rights!
Fishing? Oh my. Stripper bass was the biggest fight you'd have in the Hudson River. That's nothing compared to reeling in a marlin or sail fish or mahi! And if you have luck like me, a shark. Yes that's right the son of jaws patrols our waters. As do manatees. Manatees are a special kind of breed. They swim laps all day eat sea lettuce and still. Are fat. And somehow Florida woman managed to be sexually assaulted by one. Yes you read that right... Happened in fort pierce not too far from where I live, most hysterical thing I ever heard in my life.
Wild life your thing? You'll see that not only in walmart, but there are a lot of preserves! And baby eagles just hatched not too long ago! Merica!
Fire works yup they're legal. I do not advise getting to the level of intoxication I am at as I write this and play with them, for you may send a 3 inch mortar into someone's Florida room. That's a garage they put a big screen in and converted into a living room/man cave...
Ahh what else is there...
Ah yes health care... Pray you have doctors and nurse staff from the north east... They have higher passing grades for their tests. (My sister is finishing up for being a nurse practitioner her passing grade was 92 at her school in Ny and MA)
Hmm let's see... Ahh pawn shops! You find all sorts of treasures in these places. From rare antiques to modern electronics and firearms galore. Pawn shops are never dull and boring. Forget the mall!
Only an ignoramus would say that California doesn't have good hospitals. A quick glance at US News' Best Hospitals shows several California hospitals in the top tier. Florida? Not so much.
They fog them I've seen the trucks going by spraying.
Good thing you mentioned that. One more thing to add to the list that might get ya! Zika!
Speaking of the Zika craziness, I live right near a lake on a golf course. This Summer a big truck with a huge tank came around my house spraying with some kind of blue fog while I was sitting outside in my lanai. The man was wearing coveralls and a BREATHING APPARATUS. Did he warn me to go inside? Hell, NO. I ran inside and took my pets with me. If it was dangerous for him to breathe that spray, it wasn't for me? Don't people here THINK? I wonder if something like this would ever happen in California? Doubt that.
Let me count the ways how crazy it is here. We are moving to the Poconos (retired) in 2 weeks.
I have driven through Atlanta... I have been all over the US and some parts of the world... Atlanta traffic is bad (another liberal haven) but it pales compared to other cities...
hmmm... again, nothing is bad unless it affects liberals in some way. Showing a bit of bias, there.
Sinkholes in Florida? You sure it's not a bunch a drunk kids packing winged death holes full of gasoline and fire works?
There is actually quite a reasonable risk for sink holes in most of Florida. The central spine of the state is made up of what they call "karst" - limestone with lots of holes where the underground water table rises and fall, and wears away the structure. Limestone is not strong, and fractures easily. Thus, the land can subside into sinkholes. These are different from the sinkholes caused by leaking water mains in other areas - very deep, and can be very large.
If you fee like exploring... Devil's Millhopper, in the Gainesville area, is one, and there is a nice sinkhole in Silver Springs State Park in the Ocala area. There is one in the middle of Orange lake, north of Ocala - when I lived there several years ago, they were working on a plan to put an seawall type thing around it to stop it from draining the lake. Don't know if they ever actually did it, tho. Also, if you look at a map of Florida, you might notice all the really round small lakes - quite a lot of them were formed from sinkholes.
We all seem to generalize an entire state or area. I've had many arguments about the South with people who think everyone here is an uneducated, toothless hillbilly.
It's like that remark Trump made about the 5th District. There are some very wealthy people who live in John Lewis' district. Anyone who's driven through Buckhead knows it's definitely not rundown and falling apart.
(thought I'd mention this, since it is the political forum, after all!)
...there are a lot of New Yorkers and Michiganders in the south now.
Last edited by kat in aiken; 01-20-2017 at 08:00 AM..
There is actually quite a reasonable risk for sink holes in most of Florida. The central spine of the state is made up of what they call "karst" - limestone with lots of holes where the underground water table rises and fall, and wears away the structure. Limestone is not strong, and fractures easily. Thus, the land can subside into sinkholes. These are different from the sinkholes caused by leaking water mains in other areas - very deep, and can be very large.
If you fee like exploring... Devil's Millhopper, in the Gainesville area, is one, and there is a nice sinkhole in Silver Springs State Park in the Ocala area. There is one in the middle of Orange lake, north of Ocala - when I lived there several years ago, they were working on a plan to put an seawall type thing around it to stop it from draining the lake. Don't know if they ever actually did it, tho. Also, if you look at a map of Florida, you might notice all the really round small lakes - quite a lot of them were formed from sinkholes.
Have you read T.D. Allman's Finding Florida: The True History of the Sunshine State? One of the first chapters discusses the geology of the state, and I found it fascinating.
Florida is great! As long as you want to feel like you are walking around with a 110 degree damp towel wrapped around your face.
A couple of years ago, I found myself in the unfortunate situation of being in St. Augustine in early August. I'm a healthy person who lives at altitude, so I usually have no problems with endurance when visiting sea level, but I truly thought I was going to die in that heat and humidity. It was suffocating. I don't think even un-medicated labor was as bad as St. Augustine in summer. Not even the standard afternoon downpour provided relief.
A couple of years ago, I found myself in the unfortunate situation of being in St. Augustine in early August. I'm a healthy person who lives at altitude, so I usually have no problems with endurance when visiting sea level, but I truly thought I was going to die in that heat and humidity. It was suffocating. I don't think even un-medicated labor was as bad as St. Augustine in summer. Not even the standard afternoon downpour provided relief.
No, the afternoon showers only make it worse. Rain hitting super hot pavement just makes more steam.
That is one thing, among many, that I don't miss about living in FL.
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