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I'm a millennial, and I've worked since I've legally been allowed to do so, for the maximum number of hours permitted until I moved out at 17 and worked full time ever since.
My sister in law is dealing with her 24 year old son not wanting to move out or get a real job that will pay the bills. I keep telling her that my getting kicked out of my mother's house by my stepdad at 18 was the best thing that ever happened to me. It sure didn't seem so at the time, but it made me responsible.
My sister in law is dealing with her 24 year old son not wanting to move out or get a real job that will pay the bills. I keep telling her that my getting kicked out of my mother's house by my stepdad at 18 was the best thing that ever happened to me. It sure didn't seem so at the time, but it made me responsible.
I would say 24 isn't awful for living at home these days but you need a real job or a plan at that age. She should at least be insisting on that from him.
Another Millennial who has been on my own since I was 18 and earned a full tuition scholarship to one of the best schools in the country. Worked full time through stage IV cancer with no help from family or government, and still needed a lot of help with so called "adulting." My Boomer parents didn't know how to change a tire, do an oil change, complete most basic home repair, drive stick shift, or know much about personal finance themselves. How would they teach me? I've made some really bad financial decisions due to lack of help (like buying a car at the end of a lease - or leasing at all!), but have been very lucky to have the internet to find out how to do a lot of the things that are big gaps in my general knowledge.
There have always been people who fell into these gaps because either their own parents didn't know, or their parents didn't teach them. Please don't blame Millennials for trying to gain that knowledge ourselves when the generations before us failed to pass it down. Everyone learns in a different way - I would rather take an "adulting" class on home or car repair than try to wing it watching YouTube!
Late boomers and early Gen X failed them. We are their parents. I think Gen X was left alone so much that they overcompensated with their own kids, plus technology and fear of letting kids be outside without supervision when they're young has contributed.
Gen-X'er parent of a 27 year old. Yes, I failed her in a lot of ways. Chores was a big one. I dropped out of college when I was pregnant with her, so I put her education ahead of everything else. As long as she was getting good grades, I didn't expect her to do much around the house other than take care of her own things, and she didn't work until her sophomore year of college. Big fail, and I hate it, but I'll own up to it.
The other big issue with her is authority. Looking back, I think a number of things were in play here. She was an only child for 15 years, and I was a single mom when she was three, so she was used to having her voice heard. Even though our particular case will be different than others, I think we make the mistake of letting think that sharing their thoughts meant they had equal or close-to-equal say in things. Her first job she got into an argument with her boss because he'd asked her to find a picture of a male model for a brochure, then rejected her choice. It took her weeks to move past that, and when I pointed out that he was the boss, then I was the 'bad guy', too.
Hoping now that I'm older and (maybe) wiser, I'll be able to avoid some of those mistakes with my younger three kids.
My high school didn't offer home economics, auto or wood shop, or any other "practical" classes in lieu of high tech career-focused electives such as programming, networking, and culinary arts. If you were on a college-prep track, you wouldn't have room in your schedule for classes like that as it was! And that was more than a decade ago now.
But yes, in generations past, I think a lot of the "adulting" skills you see in the types of classes mentioned in the OP would have been skills covered by a home ec or auto shop class.
I would say 24 isn't awful for living at home these days but you need a real job or a plan at that age. She should at least be insisting on that from him.
Funny because when I was growing up, (same age as some of the older millennials), at no time did anyone ever think that staying at home in to their 20s was an option. Every person I know was expected, at 18, to go out and make something of themselves.
Now people are living at home even longer, and some in to their 30s. I can't even comprehend that.
The "adulting" skills that I learned were taught by my parents, not the school. School never taught me how to change a tire or the oil. My dad did. He also taught about tools because he was big in to wood working as a hobby. My mom made me cook dinner once a week, and I had to learn how to meet a budget, and it had to be healthy...and something that I had to actually make, not pop in to the microwave. My dad once gave us blank checks, (with holes punched in them so they couldn't be used), and taught us how to write them, use the ledger thingie to keep a balance, and we had fake currency. Reading maps was done by my parents every summer when we went on vacation.
And yes, both of them worked. Yet somehow, they found the time to teach us all of these things. And man did we ever have chores. We got an allowance, but if we wanted more money, it was never handed to us, we always had to earn it.
Funny because when I was growing up, (same age as some of the older millennials), at no time did anyone ever think that staying at home in to their 20s was an option. Every person I know was expected, at 18, to go out and make something of themselves.
Now people are living at home even longer, and some in to their 30s. I can't even comprehend that.
Well, with factories gone now, rents going up and up with no end in sight and job pay stagnant, you think?? Here's the problem, you've been out of the loop for what, 20+ years? This isn't the 1970s or 1980s anymore. You are severely out of touch and it shows, no offense
Well, with factories gone now, rents going up and up with no end in sight and job pay stagnant, you think?? Here's the problem, you've been out of the loop for what, 20+ years? This isn't the 1970s or 1980s anymore. You are severely out of touch and it shows, no offense
Wouldn't know much at all about the 1970s. Kid in the 80s. Not out of touch at all. Get up off your backside and get more than one job. I do not feel sorry for someone in their 30s who can't make it on their own.
None of this excuses parents not teaching their own kids the very basics. I don't care how much crying and whining goes on, there's no excuse for not teaching your own kid how to fold their fricken laundry, or how to know how much money they have, or how to "comfortably" follow a recipe...that's just ridiculous.
The ONLY people that I can give a pass to not knowing jack all about cars are NYC kids. Most of them don't seem to drive cars at all and rely mainly on cabs and public transportation.
Everyone else? Even if their parents couldn't afford a car, most kids know someone who has one. If you get your license to drive, you should know how to check your fricken oil and change a tire. If not, there's a thousand videos out there teaching you.
The only people who are out of touch and it shows are the idiots who can't even make their own damn bed without paying for a $30 summit, and cry that their supposed entitled life that they deserved isn't happening to them.
My sister in law is dealing with her 24 year old son not wanting to move out or get a real job that will pay the bills. I keep telling her that my getting kicked out of my mother's house by my stepdad at 18 was the best thing that ever happened to me. It sure didn't seem so at the time, but it made me responsible.
Yikes. Is he at least trying to apply for jobs? I know the job market is tough on those seeking entry level jobs, but hopefully he's at least trying.
That said, I'm glad that it worked out for you leaving at 18, but in my case, I wasn't kicked out -- I was just super stubborn about wanting to be independent as soon as possible. Honestly, I'm in a great position in life today, but I probably would've been better off if I had lived at home until I had finished college. I had to work crazy hours to put myself through college without debt (I got zero financial aid since my parents made too much), which definitely took a toll on my grades.
I still graduated on time, got a good job, and am happy today, but let's just say that I'll never be able to apply to a top graduate school simply due to the GPA requirements, haha. Luckily I don't think I'll need to in the foreseeable future.
I saw a book on adulating few months ago and laughed but then I realize soo much stuff I google and youtube to learn. Basic things about life that I either forgot or just verifying or learning for first time. thank god for internet. Now older generation might wonder why we are dumb but realize we know much more than previous generation did at our age. I look at my parents who openly admit they had a set formula to follow & they did that. But they didn't know anything beyond that
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