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I really did expect to catch a lot of flack for what I posted, I expect more is coming. Still....10000 years of human history is on my side. The 20 years of so called “progressive” attitudes are a major anomaly in the history of gender roles. Also worth noting is the reports of marriage rates among millenials is in free fall. Possibly this is because of all this social engineering regarding the roles of men and women. I am not saying women shouldn’t work, nor am I making a case for sexism but pointing out what thought was common knowledge (at least it used to be). Women and men are different and they are good at different things. It should be a complementary relationship but we have messed all that up.
You are trying to paint everyone with the same brush. For example, my stepson, even though he is blind, is raising three kids by himself. His ex-wife would even tell you that he is the better parent. He was the nurturing one even before he lost his sight. My wife was in the hospital when Our youngest was a baby. I did all the feeding, diapering and so on.
I really did expect to catch a lot of flack for what I posted, I expect more is coming. Still....10000 years of human history is on my side. The 20 years of so called “progressive” attitudes are a major anomaly in the history of gender roles. Also worth noting is the reports of marriage rates among millenials is in free fall. Possibly this is because of all this social engineering regarding the roles of men and women. I am not saying women shouldn’t work, nor am I making a case for sexism but pointing out what thought was common knowledge (at least it used to be). Women and men are different and they are good at different things. It should be a complementary relationship but we have messed all that up.
I dont disagree that men and women often tend to have differing parenting approaches and that women tend to generally be more nurturing and it should be complementary. But to say it is simple is quite the understament or that men are not good at nurturing and that men do this and men do that is quite small box.
The picture you paint is more of pipe dream or romanticized version. Just because our differences can or should complement one another in no way should limit our involvement or define our roles. Each parent can cover the entire spectrum from nurturing to disciplinarian. Whether one is nurturing and loving, cold and distant or inept is not regulated by our gender.
I dont disagree that men and women often tend to have differing parenting approaches and that women tend to generally be more nurturing and it should be complementary. But to say it is simple is quite the understament or that men are not good at nurturing and that men do this and men do that is quite small box.
The picture you paint is more of pipe dream or romanticized version. Just because our differences can or should complement one another in no way should limit our involvement or define our roles. Each parent can cover the entire spectrum from nurturing to disciplinarian. Whether one is nurturing and loving, cold and distant or inept is not regulated by our gender.
But we’re talking about how things work on a societal level, not on an individual basis. Some men can be better nurturers than women. But still, in the overall big picture, the majority of women are better at domestic/nurturing roles than the majority of men are. Women are simply better suited for that and are happier doing that, particularly in family situations.
Even in the most socially liberal places in America one will observe that this holds true.
But we’re talking about how things work on a societal level, not on an individual basis. Some men can be better nurturers than women. But still, in the overall big picture, the majority of women are better at domestic/nurturing roles than the majority of men are. Women are simply better suited for that and happier doing that.
Even in the most socially liberal places in America one will observe that this holds true.
Just because they do it dosen't mean they're better at it, just more experienced.
And NO cleaning up after people, cooking, dishes, laundry does not make women happy. And we don't use our vaginas and breast to do those things so I don't see how women are better suited for it.
Have you wondered why couples with money pay someone for domestic services and very often for nurturing their children even when mom doesn't work. I'd bet the farm if you offered the average mom free maid service and child care she'd jump on that in less than a heartbeat.
If all that responsibility is on you at least you have equal opportunity and equal pay to support yourself and kids.
It should be ... equal opportunity and equal pay for women but to be able to achieve this there must be equal distribution of responsibilities and work at home. I bet fake feminist won't agree with that though. Instead they want to claim they believe in feminism but drop the ball at home and the women do most of the unpaid work at home.
It should be ... equal opportunity and equal pay for women but to do so there must be equal distribution of responsibilities and work at home.
Well you cant legislate that. Best you can do is not marry/have children with a man/woman who is not onboard with equitable responsibilities and to set examples for your children.
Well you cant legislate that. Best you can do is not marry/have children with a man/woman who is not onboard with equitable responsibilities and to set examples for your children.
Exactly, you can't legislate it but don't claim to be a feminist, don't claim to be for gender equality unless you practice it in all aspects of your life which means at home too.
Exactly, you can't legislate it but don't claim to be a feminist, don't claim to be for gender equality unless you practice it in all aspects of your life which means at home too.
I disagree. One can believe and support gender equality and still lean toward traditional roles and status quo in some aspects of their private life. Nothing is black and white. People have to do what is best for them and their families even if we have to sacrifices or bend in some places. Just know what your willing to accept and make sure you're on the same page before getting embedded in a relationship.
I disagree. One can believe and support gender equality and still lean toward traditional roles and status quo in some aspects of their private life. Nothing is black and white. People have to do what is best for them and their families even if we have to sacrifices or bend in some places. Just know what your willing to accept and make sure you're on the same page before getting embedded in a relationship.
Ok, your job requires a both you and a co-worker to be well rested and alert but your co-worker does the cooking, cleaning, taking care of the kids, one of the kids is sick, she got very little if any rest and show up for work tired. In fact showing up for work tired and not focused because of it is common for her because she bears the majority of the unpaid work at home. How do you feel about working with this co-worker? When there is a promotion do you think she'll get it? Would you be willing to do the majority of the work at home and think you can do a good job at work?
Your expectation that women can be a 24 hour woman actually holds women back.
Ok, your job requires a both you and a co-worker to be well rested and alert but your co-worker does the cooking, cleaning, taking care of the kids, one of the kids is sick, she got very little if any rest and show up for work tired. In fact showing up for work tired and not focused because of it is common for her because she bears the majority of the unpaid work at home. How do you feel about working with this co-worker? When there is a promotion do you think she'll get it? Would you be willing to do the majority of the work at home and think you can do a good job at work?
Your expectation that women can be a 24 hour woman actually holds women back.
I didn't say that. I said you can still consider yourself a feminist or support equality without living exactly 50/50 split on work/domestic/child rearing.
Truth is many women still do most all of the domestic and parenting and work. So you either accept it, change it or divorce. I did when I was first married in the early 80's because I was raised in a culture where that is what women did. I ended up divorcing.
So the thing is to change attitudes. Set examples and teach our daughters that its not all on them and teach our sons that hey, those are your kids too and you have equal responsibility for caring for them and keeping a home. And to both, that these are issues that must be thoroughly worked out before setting up house. Ultimately it up to the individual as to what they are willing to accept.
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