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An obligation to pay them back for the money they spent raising me since birth? No, I don't feel obligated. Nor do they expect it. I know of no parents who expect that. Apparently these parents had kids because they wanted kids, not a business relationship. Shrug, perhaps you've failed as a parent.
You don't seem to understand that reciprocating doesn't always mean paying back monetarily. My children do buy things for me but they aren't as financially well off as I am so I don't expect them to match me dollar for dollar. They reciprocate by helping out and being there for me as I've always been there for them. In the future, I will need their help, even more, when I become elderly. I don't worry that they won't be there for me when this time comes. They understand that I've given them so much and hope to give back to me when they become successful in their careers. This is the way a healthy relationship with your children is supposed to be.
You don't seem to understand that reciprocating doesn't always mean paying back monetarily. My children do buy things for me but they aren't as financially well off as I am so I don't expect them to match me dollar for dollar. They reciprocate by helping out and being there for me as I've always been there for them. In the future, I will need their help, even more, when I become elderly. I don't worry that they won't be there for me when this time comes. They understand that I've given them so much and hope to give back to me when they become successful in their careers. This is the way a healthy relationship with your children is supposed to be.
And? That is a given. And yet, there it is, again you're speaking of monetary reciprocity when you ended with mentioning a successful career. Money is what you're referring to, not helping out in terms of being there for you.
If my daughter wants to get a degree in what I would consider a fairly useless field, it is fine with me as long as she gets a teaching certificate with it.
Oh, Lordy no. We already have enough half hearted half arzed teachers.
And? That is a given. And yet, there it is, again you're speaking of monetary reciprocity when you ended with mentioning a successful career. Money is what you're referring to, not helping out in terms of being there for you.
Is that an issue for you? You don't plan to help your parents out monetarily when they become elderly? Maybe they won't need it. I probably won't, but I know that my children would help me out if I did. The fact that you have problems with this shows the entitled mindset I talk about earlier.
Is that an issue for you? You don't plan to help your parents out monetarily when they become elderly? Maybe they won't need it. I probably won't, but I know that my children would help me out if I did. The fact that you have problems with this shows the entitled mindset I talk about earlier.
Its not so much that but the language you use. Like you're keeping and accounting of who has done what for whom. It just sounds weird.
Is that an issue for you? You don't plan to help your parents out monetarily when they become elderly? Maybe they won't need it. I probably won't, but I know that my children would help me out if I did. The fact that you have problems with this shows the entitled mindset I talk about earlier.
I do it out of love & my parents appreciate that. They don't expect anything & they don't keep a running tally. We don't have a business relationship. If you expect someone to care for you in old age, you should hire someone, not just have kids. What a cold arrangement.
Thought about posting this in Parenting but figured this would get political/controversial soon enough.
My daughter is still an infant, but me and my husband are saving up for college for her. However, with all the awful/stupid/pointless "classes" Colleges/Universities have nowadays (which by the time my daughter goes I can only imagine being even worse!) I was wondering if you think it is necessarily wrong to set certain conditions in order to agree to fund their schooling?
My thinking is I honestly don't care all that much what she wants to take whether it be art, science, math, history etc. But I would pull the plug if she were taking some feminist/women's studies or other kind of SJW class. Those are just cancer full of propaganda being taught by horrible people with an agenda and an Axe to grind.
Do you think it's wrong?
In my opinion, I just think that's too conditional. It's one thing to pull the plug if your kids give up in college, party all the time and get lousy grades. If your kids took a path you disagree with, does that make it wrong? Maybe when they get to that point they could have very valid reasons as to their direction. But it's a fine line. It's either a conscious thought out decision, or they could be brainwashed into beliefs that aren't really theirs. That's a distinction to make with regards to "pulling the plug" or not. Just my .02 - you asked
I do it out of love & my parents appreciate that. They don't expect anything & they don't keep a running tally. We don't have a business relationship. If you expect someone to care for you in old age, you should hire someone, not just have kids. What a cold arrangement.
You're the only one that keeps talking about a tally. I haven't kept a ledger with the money spent on my children, but it's been a lot. It's been more than money though. It's the sacrifices that I've made and the time that I've given to make their lives better. They understand this.
You and others seem to have an issue with the fact that I've brought up money. Why is that? If you won the lottery wouldn't you give money to your parents? Or would you just give them your love? If you wouldn't give money to your parents then you'd be a terrible child. And you might say your parents wouldn't expect it, but, of course, they would, unless they knew you were a rotten child.
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