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You're the only one that keeps talking about a tally. I haven't kept a ledger with the money spent on my children, but it's been a lot. It's been more than money though. It's the sacrifices that I've made and the time that I've given to make their lives better. They understand this.
You and others seem to have an issue with the fact that I've brought up money. Why is that? If you won the lottery wouldn't you give money to your parents? Or would you just give them your love? If you wouldn't give money to your parents then you'd be a terrible child. And you might say your parents wouldn't expect it, but, of course, they would, unless they knew you were a rotten child.
If I won the lottery, I would give them money out of love, not obligation, which is the difference between you & I.
Thought about posting this in Parenting but figured this would get political/controversial soon enough.
My daughter is still an infant, but me and my husband are saving up for college for her. However, with all the awful/stupid/pointless "classes" Colleges/Universities have nowadays (which by the time my daughter goes I can only imagine being even worse!) I was wondering if you think it is necessarily wrong to set certain conditions in order to agree to fund their schooling?
My thinking is I honestly don't care all that much what she wants to take whether it be art, science, math, history etc. But I would pull the plug if she were taking some feminist/women's studies or other kind of SJW class. Those are just cancer full of propaganda being taught by horrible people with an agenda and an Axe to grind.
Do you think it's wrong?
When you say pull the plug, do you mean you would stop funding ALL of her courses (that's including not funding the courses that you do approve of) if she chooses to take any course that you don't approve of? Or do you mean you would just not pay for any courses you don't approve of but you would still pay for the courses you do approve of?
I don't think it's wrong for you to set conditions on which courses you agree with and are willing to pay for. Just make sure she understands that she will have to be the one to pay for any courses she chooses that you don't approve of. After all, you obviously do have your own agenda and an axe to grind about feminism and women's studies so she would be foolish to expect you to pay for those. There's nothing wrong with her paying for those kinds of courses herself.
I think you should have a serious talk with her about all of that a few years ahead of time before she is ready to enter college/university. That way she will have plenty of time to think about it, to choose wisely and be prepared to take only approved courses. That is of course IF she wants to go to college and have you pay for it.
Take into consideration that because of your own agenda for her and your abhorrence of feminism and women's studies, your attempts to control a young woman's choices and to keep her under your thumb will have probably alienated her from you by the time she graduates from high school. She might very well no longer be at home and not be on good speaking terms with you by the time she reaches college age. Then if she's run away from you, you won't have to concern yourself about paying for whatever college courses she chooses to take.
If I won the lottery, I would give them money out of love, not obligation, which is the difference between you & I.
Your parents had an obligation to take care of you as a child. They didn't do it just out of love. You should feel obligated towards your parents. The fact that you don't shows your character.
Your parents had an obligation to take care of you as a child. They didn't do it just out of love. You should feel obligated towards your parents. The fact that you don't shows your character.
Obligated means required. Parents aren't required to take care of their kids. Many parents do not take care of their kids. Those that do do it out of love. I am not required to help my parents, I do it out of love. If you feel that your kids are obligated to help you, that is not a relationship of love, that is a business transaction. That is a relationship that is in essence, a contract. How sad.
Obligated means required. Parents aren't required to take care of their kids. Many parents do not take care of their kids. Those that do do it out of love. I am not required to help my parents, I do it out of love. If you feel that your kids are obligated to help you, that is not a relationship of love, that is a business transaction. That is a relationship that is in essence, a contract. How sad.
Parents are required to take care of their children. I don't know what world you live in where you think that isn't the case. I would take care of my children whether I loved them or not. This is because of a thing called responsibility. You might not understand that concept, but you have a responsibility to your parents. The fact that you don't understand this is what's sad.
Parents are required to take care of their children. I don't know what world you live in where you think that isn't the case. I would take care of my children whether I loved them or not. This is because of a thing called responsibility. You might not understand that concept, but you have a responsibility to your parents. The fact that you don't understand this is what's sad.
I understand that my relationship with my parents is borne out of love, not a business transaction. There is not "requirement" in my relationship. And this is the difference between you & I.
Thought about posting this in Parenting but figured this would get political/controversial soon enough.
My daughter is still an infant, but me and my husband are saving up for college for her. However, with all the awful/stupid/pointless "classes" Colleges/Universities have nowadays (which by the time my daughter goes I can only imagine being even worse!) I was wondering if you think it is necessarily wrong to set certain conditions in order to agree to fund their schooling?
My thinking is I honestly don't care all that much what she wants to take whether it be art, science, math, history etc. But I would pull the plug if she were taking some feminist/women's studies or other kind of SJW class. Those are just cancer full of propaganda being taught by horrible people with an agenda and an Axe to grind.
Do you think it's wrong?
I don't know how it is in your state but in my state college students need to take gen ed classes...such as arts and humanity....etc. My son took a women's study class because that's all that was left to fulfill his requirements. All other classes were filled. No big deal. Not sure why you are thinking about college now when you have an infant. 18 years is a long time away and we have no idea what our future holds.
This is reasonable. Unless, it is used as a form of control. That can backfire badly.
I supported my son's choice of major, as it was his true passion, even though I did not think it was the best choice in terms of employment opportunities. When he was choosing a minor, I insisted on a strong backup plan. Turns out the combination is very strong and now his employer will pay for even more education.
Had I pushed him in a direction that was not for him, he may have dropped out or just hate his job.
Because he loved what he was doing, he took full advantage of college and is part now of a very strong career network.
Understood, however, far too often parents feel the need to be the BFF, when they should act as a parent. Some are using an example of a $250.00 course. That isn't an insurmountable sum. If they really feel the need to take a course I disagree with and it's only $250.00 They will get a job and earn the money for themselves. They may find that after earning the money to pay for the course they don't want it so much after all. That in itself would be a valuable lesson.
My kids ask my advice often. I never put in the my way or the highway format. I give them the options as I see them and let them decide. Fortunately they tend to find their own way as adults.
Some people think any college that isn't like a religious one is brainwash central. Yes, most universities that aren't more church based are pretty liberal by default, but it is what it is.
Short answer is yes. She may need to take a course to satisfy a requirement to graduate. Mine is a STEM graduate but took a few theatre classes so she could graduate. She did. I would be stupid if I refused to pay for the theatre classes.
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