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On these, do both of you not realize that the society and culture of that society is the driving factor in how someone sees his/her self from a socio-psychological perspective.
Honestly it seems many people don't think of these things from an American cultural perspective.
Earlier the OP mentioned 1700s stereotypes of blacks in the country. Guess what they were....
They were that blacks were lazy, stupid, criminally prone, violent and savage. Basically the same as they are today.
The "victimhood" that Dbones mentions whereas many blacks don't think they can do anything does not come from black people - it comes from our American culture that has always said that blacks were inferior and incapable.
Ironically, unbeknownst to most of you it seems, black American culture as a sub-culture has always tried to combat this and it filled with the fact that blacks are capable, we have just been denied opportunities due to oppression. Yet many of you don't want to admit that this is the case - oppression lead to the present condition. Instead you believe it was blacks themselves, which is why you keep talking about "parents" as if they were to blame for their lack of opportunities pre-1980. You also ignore the fact that blacks have gotten better in nearly every category since 1980 and the elimination of over 90% of oppression. We will continue to get better so all the advice about "parenting" is unnecessary and unneeded for the most part. You all need to learn about your country's history more in depth when it comes to race and how black families were educational and economically deprived along with ridiculed and deemed ugly and unworthy for over 300 years. Sorry but the effects of such treatment doesn't go away in 30-40 years and it is still plainly evident in both adults and children today. And note, it is not just black children.
You all ignore the fact that in the doll test, the white children also didn't do all that well. If you truly don't believe that blacks are inferior, you need to learn your history and teach your own children because I could easily blame your parenting skills for the continuance of racial stereotyping the country that whites perpetuate. The only person who ever told me I "acted/talked white" was a white teacher. I have had white people tell me that my kids "talk white" as well in the past 10 years. You are just as negatively affected as blacks in the country and that is because this is an American cultural thing - to believe that any black person who is a regular person and speaks regular American English is somehow exceptional or "special" when they aren't.
My point about the kids was to all of them, not singling out the black children. Likewise my comment as to how it is overcome and that it won't be done quickly and will require the change you mention. Your edit assumes quite a bit about my parenting I would add - now seems to be gone ?
My wife and I are black. We both excelled in school growing up as kids and we now both hold master's degrees. Neither of us were ever accused of "acting white" by our black classmates, friends, or neighborhood kids.
Sounds like you're falling for the stereotype that all or most black kids accuse their classmates of "acting white" if they get good grades and take education seriously. That is definitely not the case.
I agree with this. I lived in the ghetto and was never ridiculed for being smart or "acting white."
As stated above, the only person who ever told me I "talked white" (she said I "talked like a white girl") was a white teacher. White people in random places have also said my kids "talk white." To me, they speak like all other kids I know and I mostly know black kids lol. FWIW, when I was 9 and told this, I got in trouble for saying that I didn't talk like a white girl cause I'm black and I talk like a black girl. I also always confront any person, white/black/or inbetween who mentions that my kids "talk white." I still get those comments about my daughter in particular from mostly white and black people who are my age or younger.
I think this whole belief by many whites that blacks are ridiculed for being smart comes from the media influence I mentioned. There have been lots of silly programs on TV over the years and stupid studies done that try to prove that "acting white" is a thing that makes black children not excel when the fact of the matter is, inadequate schooling makes black children not excel and the internal belief that they are inferior intellectually.
Oddly enough, a book I read a few years ago showed that "acting white" as a phenomenon started to occur after integration of public schools. Prior to that black intellectualism, excelling in school, and being the best student was heavily pushed by black families and black schools (this is the culture I talk about that many whites seem not to know about - blacks have ALWAYS had a focus on educational achievement and intellectualism in this country - it has ALWAYS been one of the primary goals of black families and activists as well).
As the OP stated, "acting white" is not necessarily about grades. It is about some students believing that other black students are embracing what they feel are not black culture or mannerisms. Ironically more recent (stupid) studies show that smart black children in high school have a wide social network and don't experience any sort of relevant negativity as a result of their achievement in school.
My point about the kids was to all of them, not singling out the black children. Likewise my comment as to how it is overcome and that it won't be done quickly and will require the change you mention. Your edit assumes quite a bit about my parenting I would add - now seems to be gone ?
I was not speaking specifically to you about your parenting, just parenting in general in America. All of us, white or black or any other ethnicity, have a responsibility to combat stereotyping IMO.
I take this very seriously as a black parent and it is a reason why I mentor predominantly black youth as well as my community service because I know other black parents are not as knowledgeable about the damage that our cultural adherence to these stereotypes does to our youth - no matter their ethnic group.
I do feel that more white parents don't take this seriously, though I also feel that many are starting to do so more and more with their children. Like my friend with the bi-racial daugther, I think they believed if they were not racist and they did not stereotype people that their kid would not either. But that is not true. Our media influence and cultural influence in our country is huge and it is up to all parents who want to break this cycle to be active in doing so and not trying to put the onus of it entirely on black people and black parents.
As a black mother, I take it VERY seriously to educate and instill in my kids and all the black kids I know (now including my friend's daughter) that to be black is a wonderful thing - that we are capable - that there is nothing in our/their way at all and that it is sad that our ancestors endured such horrible treatment. But they survived and we are here and we need to do the best we can for ourselves and take advantage of what they have gained for us.
White parents IMO need to be much more active in combating stereotypes and ensuring their kids don't grow up and perpetuate such negative, prejudicial behaviors as well.
The thing that I find fascinating about stereotypes is where they originate. The left would have us believe that stereotypes are works of 100% fiction.
What's also interesting is that stereotyping is only considered negative when it is about people. It could be argued that science is largely focused on stereotyping, i.e. classifying/categorizing and looking for patterns. The closest I have seen people get worked up about non-human stereotyping are the people who get all bent out of shape about pit bulls being labeled as dangerous dogs.
I was not speaking specifically to you about your parenting, just parenting in general in America. All of us, white or black or any other ethnicity, have a responsibility to combat stereotyping IMO.
I take this very seriously as a black parent and it is a reason why I mentor predominantly black youth as well as my community service because I know other black parents are not as knowledgeable about the damage that our cultural adherence to these stereotypes does to our youth - no matter their ethnic group.
I do feel that more white parents don't take this seriously, though I also feel that many are starting to do so more and more with their children. Like my friend with the bi-racial daugther, I think they believed if they were not racist and they did not stereotype people that their kid would not either. But that is not true. Our media influence and cultural influence in our country is huge and it is up to all parents who want to break this cycle to be active in doing so and not trying to put the onus of it entirely on black people and black parents.
As a black mother, I take it VERY seriously to educate and instill in my kids and all the black kids I know (now including my friend's daughter) that to be black is a wonderful thing - that we are capable - that there is nothing in our/their way at all and that it is sad that our ancestors endured such horrible treatment. But they survived and we are here and we need to do the best we can for ourselves and take advantage of what they have gained for us.
White parents IMO need to be much more active in combating stereotypes and ensuring their kids don't grow up and perpetuate such negative, prejudicial behaviors as well.
I am only responsible for myself and how I raise my kids. Stereotypes exist within all races and everyone likely experiences it at some point or another. My sons when enlisting in the Navy were on the receiving end of particularly racial stereotypes based on the state we live and color of their skin. They were actually asked if they had hoods at home and if they had ever actually seen a black person - by black recruits. Now these kids are kind to everyone (until someone proves unworthy of that kindness) with no preconceived notions because that did not happen in our house. My job was not discussed at home whatsoever due to the violent nature so this reception was a shock to them.
I am only responsible for myself and how I raise my kids. Stereotypes exist within all races and everyone likely experiences it at some point or another. My sons when enlisting in the Navy were on the receiving end of particularly racial stereotypes based on the state we live and color of their skin. They were actually asked if they had hoods at home and if they had ever actually seen a black person - by black recruits. Now these kids are kind to everyone (until someone proves unworthy of that kindness) with no preconceived notions because that did not happen in our house. My job was not discussed at home whatsoever due to the violent nature so this reception was a shock to them.
I agree with you on the bold. My point was that white parents should also raise their children to be aware of pervasive negative stereotyping in media and how those stereotypes are not true about blacks in this country as that will decrease the effect that white supremacy ideology has in our country.
On your kids in the Navy, asking someone if they have "hoods" in their area or if they've seen a black person, is not stereotyping. Stereotyping would have been those black navy recruits saying your kids were racists just because they are from a homogenously white community and/or state. Also not sure how that interaction would have been a shock - they were not accused of being any particular way just because they are white (unless you are leaving something out).
I've been told more than once how well I write/communicate on this very forum and how "if more black people" did that the country would be less racist...lol.
That is stereotyping - indicating that I, as a self proclaimed black person, am some sort of extraordinary black because I can put some words together and make a coherent sentence. It insinuates that all other black people are too stupid to write sentences, except for me cause I'm a special negro or something. My response is always that I'm a regular black person. But the pervasiveness of the "ignorant black" stereotype precludes many posters here from actually believing that a majority of black people can write a sentence and speak regular American English.
So in regards to parenting - just like black parents need to raise their kids with the knowledge that blacks are capable of learning and functioning as regular old Americans - whites parents need to do the same thing because oftentimes around here, posters try to tell black parents what to do to raise "successful" children when they as parents themselves perpetuate the stereotypes they were taught about black people in this country by their own parents, to their children. The fact that oftentimes people post here about "gangsta rap" and "welfare" and act like crime is out of control amongst the black population like we are still in the 1980s/1990s, points directly to the root of the fact that white parents don't really speak about the history of race in this country, what stereotyping is, nor do they point it out to their children when they see it all the time. I also noted that many white parents do this and I feel that more are starting to do so.
I agree with you on the bold. My point was that white parents should also raise their children to be aware of pervasive negative stereotyping in media and how those stereotypes are not true about blacks in this country as that will decrease the effect that white supremacy ideology has in our country.
On your kids in the Navy, asking someone if they have "hoods" in their area or if they've seen a black person, is not stereotyping. Stereotyping would have been those black navy recruits saying your kids were racists just because they are from a homogenously white community and/or state. Also not sure how that interaction would have been a shock - they were not accused of being any particular way just because they are white (unless you are leaving something out).
I've been told more than once how well I write/communicate on this very forum and how "if more black people" did that the country would be less racist...lol.
That is stereotyping - indicating that I, as a self proclaimed black person, am some sort of extraordinary black because I can put some words together and make a coherent sentence. It insinuates that all other black people are too stupid to write sentences, except for me cause I'm a special negro or something. My response is always that I'm a regular black person. But the pervasiveness of the "ignorant black" stereotype precludes many posters here from actually believing that a majority of black people can write a sentence and speak regular American English.
So in regards to parenting - just like black parents need to raise their kids with the knowledge that blacks are capable of learning and functioning as regular old Americans - whites parents need to do the same thing because oftentimes around here, posters try to tell black parents what to do to raise "successful" children when they as parents themselves perpetuate the stereotypes they were taught about black people in this country by their own parents, to their children. The fact that oftentimes people post here about "gangsta rap" and "welfare" and act like crime is out of control amongst the black population like we are still in the 1980s/1990s, points directly to the root of the fact that white parents don't really speak about the history of race in this country, what stereotyping is, nor do they point it out to their children when they see it all the time. I also noted that many white parents do this and I feel that more are starting to do so.
My sons being asked if they, personally, had hoods (as in KKK hoods) at home is absolutely stereotyping them. Same for if they personally had ever seen a black person. It is a bit disingenuous to say otherwise unless you actually misunderstood me. It is a common theme that people from across the country think that people from my state are racist.
FYI - I don't refer to neighborhoods as "hoods"
As far as you having conversations about race, I will with you because you can normally have a rational conversation without maligning me personally.
Edit -
I have taught my kids that they should not judge a person by anything but their character.
Last edited by redwood66; 09-14-2017 at 01:17 PM..
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That is definitely not the case.
