One the Subject of Personal Space! (gay people, homosexual, Texas, kids)

[cremebrulee]

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/...=.0429125c15f7

OK, my take on this is, this wasn't a once and done deal...apparently the touchy feelly man has the need to do this all the time to people, and some people just do not like being touched or hugged. I am one of those people and sometimes, saying no doesn't work....sometimes you've got to hit people with a 2 x 4 to get their attention, in order to get them to stop. Especially work associates.

Listen, just b/c you think and feel differently about something doesn't make you right and me wrong. It's all about personal culture, and people, we need to become more aware and understand that not everyone likes the same.

I had a boss whom I hardly knew, who on his very first day came over and wanted to hug me. I extended my arm out, to hold him back and said, "I don't do hugs!" And I don't. It was never in my culture, we were never a kissey face hugy bear type of people. That doesn't make me any less of a person, nor my feelings, none important.

And, I have gay friends, and know gay people, but if a gay woman would constantly be touching me, I'd say the same thing, and be just as uncomfortable, regardless! Period. Nothing against her or her beliefs, except, just stop touching me, or trying to hug me!!!

First, no one knows what is in my background, maybe this man had a tramatic experience happen to him at some point in his life, you never know, and my point is, instead of taking it as a personal attack, understand that not everyone thinks and feels as you do.

Here's another example, I was taught, while driving to stay at least 3 - 4 cars behind someone...and I do that and respect that, b/c if a deer runs out in front of the person in front of me, I don't want to run up his butt and cause an accident. It's not that I fear dying, what I hate is the inconvenience of an accident. So, if someone break checks you, they are asking you to please back off of their personal space. You climbing up their butt is not going to make them drive faster. Why is that so difficult to understand and why become angry. Just back off a little.

another example, personal space...everyone has their own comfort zone....so, if you are in line, learn to read body language and if someone moves forward, as you move towards them, then back off please.

Aren't parents teaching their kids to respect the personal space of others any longer, to respect personal culture, and not mock people or take it as a personal attack?

[JohnnyLackland]

Cremebrulee,

thank you for a much needed post. For me, hugs are special and should be kept to a minimum outside familiar associations. Especially outside family.
Men should never start a hug with a woman. Never. If a child starts the hug and the adult is uncomfortable with it, lightly take the child by both hands and say something sweet with a smile.
Non-family hugs should be with a small space between the lower regions and should be of a short duration.
If a hug takes place between two people of the same sex and one is homosexual, the gay person should know that the other person is okay with it. It is respecting the other person's heterosexuality. And, yes two people in this situation can have a warm and well-meaning physical contact, but it does require mutual respect.
I, for the most part, avoid hugs (namely outside of my immediate family). And I like talking to strangers.
Hugs are nice, but they do have their place.

[cremebrulee]

Originally Posted by JohnnyLackland

Cremebrulee,

thank you for a much needed post. For me, hugs are special and should be kept to a minimum outside familiar associations. Especially outside family.
Men should never start a hug with a woman. Never. If a child starts the hug and the adult is uncomfortable with it, lightly take the child by both hands and say something sweet with a smile.
Non-family hugs should be with a small space between the lower regions and should be of a short duration.
If a hug takes place between two people of the same sex and one is homosexual, the gay person should know that the other person is okay with it. It is respecting the other person's heterosexuality. And, yes two people in this situation can have a warm and well-meaning physical contact, but it does require mutual respect.
I, for the most part, avoid hugs (namely outside of my immediate family). And I like talking to strangers.
Hugs are nice, but they do have their place.

yanno, I don't believe there are any specific rules to this....honestly I don't, but do and will consider what you've written here and thank you for that.

What I'm saying is, people, (no you) but all of us, please stop for a moment and think about the other person. Not everyone thinks and feels the same way as you do....and it doesn't make you right or them wrong, it is simply opinion and even more, personal culture.

I was taught, strictly, to stay at least 2 - 3 cars behind the car in front of me. Of late, I've noted, people have been tail gating like crazy. It makes me uncomfortable. So if someone brake checks you, don't take it as a personal insult, but more as they're training and beliefs and please back off a little. An accident can be extremely inconvenient....and expensive.

If people would once again adopt the concept of the feelings of others, and realize, we can't and don't think alike about issues, these things wouldn't happen. And this article is a perfect example.

right away b/c the one man said, I don't like men, maybe you do? So what???? I'd say the same thing to a woman...if I knew she was gay, especially if I had asked her before to stop doing that. And in this case, this is not the place to do this type of thing.....

And the snickering and mocking is kindergarden....and Gov. Tom Wolf calling for him to resign is assanine, he doen't have to sit there and take another man touching him or a woman for that matter.

I hate it when people smother me, or make me feel forced to hug them, it's not for them to decide, and I don't care how they were raised, what I care about is a complete disregard or consideration for someone else's feelings, which is so wrong.

Again, was it the right thing for him to say, maybe it wasn't, however, is it known that the guy is gay, and if yes, than so what. I'm guessing, for the guy (Metcalf) to get to the point where he stops and interrupts the man, and says what he said, it had to be going on for quit a long time.

Also, he has every right to say that...if a girl was doing that to me who I knew was gay, it would make me darned uncomfortable! And all the snickering and nasty jokes are not going to change a person's comfort zone. Lets all respect each other and the word is consider, be considerate of the feelings of others.

That boss I spoke of took insult because I stuck my arm straight out, and replied, "I don't do hugs!". My gosh, someone else in the work place might see that and say, "Well what kind of person is she?"
Think people....before acting on impulse....not everyone was bought up by your family, we all think and feel differently.

Same with condeming someone for what time they get up in the morning?????

What are parents teaching their kids, b/c apparently this concept is being lost...people use their phones in public places, without any concern for the feelings of others....

what you do in public, isn't what others might do, so be considerate, same with tail gating....


Consideration.

I to love people and love talking to them, strangers alike, but hugs and touching are reserved for those I chose to allow into my life in that way.

People need to learn once again, to look for the body language of another, and if it feels like they are uncomfortable, then stop, or ask them, "May I hug you".

Respect for the feelings of others has been lost...it seems of late, if you disagree with someone else's culture and beliefs, they make "You" out to be different, strange, and become nasty, make nasty remarks, jokes, and even violent.

Do you know just yesterday in Texas, someone was tail gating and the other person got out and started shooting. There are a whole lot of angry people out there who are just sick and tired of it. Was it right to do, of course not, but my point is, sometimes you push people and there are a lot of angry people out there. If someone break checks you, take the time to fall back a little, instead of fighting them. They are asking you to do so...they are saying, I"m uncomfortable with you being that close.

Be aware, of others, be considerate and put the damn cell phones away. people don't go out to eat to hear you talking on your phones. Be considerate.