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Right-wing lunacy is the only reason we have this worthless thread. Why is this a topic of discussion since it is none of OP's business in the first place? OP is offended that this woman was herself offended (in France, none the less) over a 2 second encounter in a cafe...and feels compelled to race to C-D to share their snowflake outrage hoping to stir up controversy. Give it a rest. By now the woman has forgotten the whole encounter and moved on with her life.
The new left really is something else. Just got through reading a social media post from a law school classmate who now lives overseas in Europe. She was highly upset because, while tired with the kids out and about at a cafe, a male cafe worker remarked that she "looked tired." Apparently, this was taken to be "remarking on [her] body" and was highly offensive and sexist She made a follow-on comment that her husband would never receive such a comment if he was out with the kids and looked tired and even acknowledged that the cafe worker's tone was one of concern.
While I hope most sane people will see the lunacy in this woman's reaction, sadly her reaction is symptomatic of how many on the left feel and think today; her post was "liked" by numerous fellow leftists. When it comes to the point where you as a male cannot make a comment as simple and harmless as "you look tired" to someone who does look tired without being accused of sexism and body shaming, we've officially fallen off the deep end.
As I've mentioned before, I have no problem with the leftists and liberals of the old days. This new breed of constantly offended, Social Justice Warriors, however, are beyond redemption.
None of this has anything to do with "right" or "left".
It's an insult no matter who you say it to - the translation is "You look like hell". It's never a good idea to tell a paying customer that they look like hell.
The only time you can safely get away with telling a woman she looks tired is when you've got her sitting down in front of you while you're giving her a long soothing foot massage. While she sips on a nice hot cup of tea and nibbles on homemade cookies that you made for her. THAT is your sincere demonstration of friendly empathy and it's better than words. Words are cheap.
By the way, please forgive me for saying this (it's my attempt at friendly empathy) but in your opening post you sound quite unwell, like you're totally stressed out and hysterical about societal niceties and unable to mentally cope with it. You might benefit from getting some professional counseling and tranquilizers for that.
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This explains the issue completely. I've read in multiple books/articles on the subject of the differences between how women and men speak and understand what's said. Basically women tend to speak using language that needs to be interpreted or is very indirect in it's meaning.
Men speak in more direct terms saying things that mean EXACTLY what they say.
Example: Man...."You look tired" means you look tired. Woman..."You look tired" means something other than "You look tired".
Just look at all the translations throughout this thread of those 3 simple words...
Don't tell a woman she looks tired. Who raised you?
The question is who raised you? Who would have filled your head with such nonsense that you can't even make a real empathetic comment to a female. Oh the horror! Being an SJW seems so conflicting and tiresome.
The new left really is something else. Just got through reading a social media post from a law school classmate who now lives overseas in Europe. She was highly upset because, while tired with the kids out and about at a cafe, a male cafe worker remarked that she "looked tired." Apparently, this was taken to be "remarking on [her] body" and was highly offensive and sexist She made a follow-on comment that her husband would never receive such a comment if he was out with the kids and looked tired and even acknowledged that the cafe worker's tone was one of concern.
While I hope most sane people will see the lunacy in this woman's reaction, sadly her reaction is symptomatic of how many on the left feel and think today; her post was "liked" by numerous fellow leftists. When it comes to the point where you as a male cannot make a comment as simple and harmless as "you look tired" to someone who does look tired without being accused of sexism and body shaming, we've officially fallen off the deep end.
As I've mentioned before, I have no problem with the leftists and liberals of the old days. This new breed of constantly offended, Social Justice Warriors, however, are beyond redemption.
The premise that someone who apparently functions well enough to earn a JD would be upset about a stranger being offended when someone comments negatively about their physical appearance speaks volumes about you is absurd, and speaks volumes.
This explains the issue completely. I've read in multiple books/articles on the subject of the differences between how women and men speak and understand what's said. Basically women tend to speak using language that needs to be interpreted or is very indirect in it's meaning.
Men speak in more direct terms saying things that mean EXACTLY what they say.
Example: Man...."You look tired" means you look tired. Woman..."You look tired" means something other than "You look tired".
Just look at all the translations throughout this thread of those 3 simple words...
It's not that hard to deduce that tired people do not look good relatively speaking. Men may simply mean "you look tired," but surely they can understand that one who looks tired does not look their best. There is a reason you notice that they look tired, and it's because maybe they don't look peppy or particularly happy, they may have bags under their eyes, red eyes, pale skin, etc. Perhaps women are just smarter than men for getting that?
I can't believe there are people who see no issue with a waiter saying this to a patron. It just isn't appropriate. That alone is a separate issue from whatever one may infer from such a comment. I worked in food service throughout school for years and I would never have told a customer such a thing. What did I do, though? Compliment them on things I liked about them occasioanally - I love your nails, nice shirt, I like your bag, etc. THAT is appropriate small talk in such a setting. Not telling someone she looks tired. That's more invasive into someone's life than a simple compliment, or commenting about the snow coming down outside or something.
It's not that hard to deduce that tired people do not look good relatively speaking. Men may simply mean "you look tired," but surely they can understand that one who looks tired does not look their best. There is a reason you notice that they look tired, and it's because maybe they don't look peppy or particularly happy, they may have bags under their eyes, red eyes, pale skin, etc. Perhaps women are just smarter than men for getting that?
I can't believe there are people who see no issue with a waiter saying this to a patron. It just isn't appropriate. That alone is a separate issue from whatever one may infer from such a comment. I worked in food service throughout school for years and I would never have told a customer such a thing. What did I do, though? Compliment them on things I liked about them occasioanally - I love your nails, nice shirt, I like your bag, etc. THAT is appropriate small talk in such a setting. Not telling someone she looks tired. That's more invasive into someone's life than a simple compliment, or commenting about the snow coming down outside or something.
Oh stop with this nonsense. It isn't inappropriate. What is this thought that women have to be told they are beautiful and look good all the time or not say anything at all? That's just pure BS. Telling someone they look tired is perfectly fine. Just stop with this over the top feelings being hurt crap, it really make people look severely juvenile.
Oh stop with this nonsense. It isn't inappropriate. What is this thought that women have to be told they are beautiful and look good all the time or not say anything at all? That's just pure BS. Telling someone they look tired is perfectly fine. Just stop with this over the top feelings being hurt crap, it really make people look severely juvenile.
I did not say that women need to be told they're beautiful and look good all the time, so stop projecting your bias and agenda on me. You can tell family or friends they look tired but it is inappropriate when a stranger who is waiting on you in a restaurant or other setting does so - man or woman, either customer or server. Basic social skills. It isn't about sex or gender, it's common decency as someone who is serving the public. I worked with the public for 7 years and never once said such a thing to anyone, nor did I think to.
I did not even mention gender in my post aside from the first part, which you were not responding to.
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She made a follow-on comment that her husband would never receive such a comment if he was out with the kids and looked tired and even acknowledged that the cafe worker's tone was one of concern. 
