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I wouldn't say half. HOwever, there's a fair amount of accusations that either haven't had enough sufficient proof, or else, proven false.
Me personally, I was reported twice: One time-legitimate; the other time-completely false.
The first time happened off of work hours and away from work. This woman and I had so many inside jokes but they were really weird and perverted. I took things too far, and without warning, she went to HR. I didn't know i crossed the line since she was playing along, but in hindsight, I should have used better judgement. Her and I were friends, but since she reported me, her and I had a bad falling out and we didn't speak to each other.
The second time was completely false, fabricated, and made up by the same person. I was talking to my male buddy at work and we were talking about certain attractive female customers. After I walked away, she approached my friend and she asked if I was talking about her. He said no but she reported me to HR to claim that I harassed her. Keep in mind that I had no idea that she went to HR or she was around the vicinity where I was talking to my friend. But yet, she took it upon herself to get me in trouble. After the HR did their investigation, they called me to the office and told me that she had filed a claim on me; however, the HR personell didn't believe her due to conflicting evidence. Her story didn't match with the facts. She was also at that time that she was "changing" and her behavior had gotten weirder. She eventually moved to another department and that was the last time I had to deal with her.
Sexual harrassment comes in many forms and it's a serious offense. It can range from a simple perverted comment to inappropriate touching.
Well as you get older you won't have to worry about that as much...
Approaching 50 and don't have the problem of being ignored yet. Just a few weeks back some man followed me in his car after I refused to give him my phone number. He even got out of his car to block my walking path. I had to turn and go the opposite direction. (Away from the subway which is where I was headed.) Do you think this is over=inflated claims of abuse? I posted this on Facebook. My girlfriends said, "OMG scary." The men said, "creepy." Everyone was pissed.
However, I wasn't discussing catcalls. Do you consider it appropriate for a non-sexual male friend to tweak your nipple just because "you like it" according to them? How about when you told them you aren't interested and they insist you are? How about slapping you on the buttocks? Or when you go in to give a kiss on the cheek as you are saying goodbye, they move their face and put it on the mouth, again, in a relationship that is clear that there is nothing more, where it has been verbalized repeatedly, that you have no interest?
I can tell at least 10 other stories. To assume a woman is being overly sensitive is not true.
As a student of history, it should be noted that prior to Prohibition, women and men consumed a similar amount of liquor but in separate rooms of the house. Women would invite their friends into the lady's room (which was actually a room right off the lady's bedroom and the toilet room was called WC, it was only when middle class people got toilets that the rooms were combined). Then the men would be in the parlor or billiards room.
In that time period, men and women did not mix, they did not drink together. Men and women had separate beds and if wealthy enough, separate bedrooms and would have sexual relations on planned times coinciding with the women's ovulation so they could have maximum chance of conception as family sizes were large back then.
Once prohibition came and the alcohol supplies that people had were exhausted, people were forced to go into "speakeasies" to get alcohol. These were places in secret locations that kept changing and had pass codes. They developed over time to have a pianist or a band as entertainment and this was the first time really that the sexes intermingled in an inebriated state.
Being that everything was underground, a "system" developed that anything that happened in the speakeasy stayed there. It was not uncommon for rapes or other things to occur in a speakeasy and for a hush atmosphere to take place.
When prohibition ended these speakeasies became the bars and clubs we have today. The culture developed in these bars still persisted though and it permeated the culture.
So you have all this sexual aggression to mainly blame on prohibition. I wonder if people started "imbibing" at home again if a lot of these problems would go away?
In any case we are at a brand new chapter of American history but most people don't see the forest for the trees and don't have any historical context of how we got where we are and why.
The separation of sexes like they have in India, parts of Asia, or the Middle East is more like America was in the pre-prohibition days.
Now continue on.
So in India, because the sexes are "separated" there is less sexual violence? Yeah, I never hear about the gang rapes of girls there ... you may be a student of history but you don't know current events and you have no scientific rigor in your theories.
If men want to seek women of other ethnicities, fine. But I bet they don’t like being abused and harassed any more than American women do.
It’s sad to know you consider abusive behavior to be a traditional male role. Sorry to hear that women’s expecting decent behavior is making things more difficult for you. Maybe if guys would express their concerns to the guys who are doing this and tell them to shape up, women would not have to worry about abuse and men would not have to worry about accusations.
I'm not sorry! If he gets left in the dust of social evolution, it won't be because he wasn't warned.
There are PLENTY plenty plenty of men who get it. Let the dinosaurs grumble.
So in India, because the sexes are "separated" there is less sexual violence? Yeah, I never hear about the gang rapes of girls there ... you may be a student of history but you don't know current events and you have no scientific rigor in your theories.
When did I claim that there was less sexual violence in India. Don't draw conclusions where there are none to draw.
I was just pointing out that our culture is a product of prohibition. Each time you go to a bar, pub, or dance club you should understand the background of what the establishment you are going into represents. Maybe better to just invite some of your girlfriends to your house, drink some margaritas and watch some movies. That's all.
Approaching 50 and don't have the problem of being ignored yet. Just a few weeks back some man followed me in his car after I refused to give him my phone number. He even got out of his car to block my walking path. I had to turn and go the opposite direction. (Away from the subway which is where I was headed.) Do you think this is over=inflated claims of abuse? I posted this on Facebook. My girlfriends said, "OMG scary." The men said, "creepy." Everyone was pissed.
However, I wasn't discussing catcalls. Do you consider it appropriate for a non-sexual male friend to tweak your nipple just because "you like it" according to them? How about when you told them you aren't interested and they insist you are? How about slapping you on the buttocks? Or when you go in to give a kiss on the cheek as you are saying goodbye, they move their face and put it on the mouth, again, in a relationship that is clear that there is nothing more, where it has been verbalized repeatedly, that you have no interest?
I can tell at least 10 other stories. To assume a woman is being overly sensitive is not true.
Well my best friend's brother used to pat my ass. He was a football player and apparently football players do that. According to you I should've reported him I guess...
When did I claim that there was less sexual violence in India. Don't draw conclusions where there are none to draw.
I was just pointing out that our culture is a product of prohibition. Each time you go to a bar, pub, or dance club you should understand the background of what the establishment you are going into represents. Maybe better to just invite some of your girlfriends to your house, drink some margaritas and watch some movies. That's all.
A LOT of the sexual harassement happens at work. Maybe you'd like for us to just...stay home and have dinner on the table when you get home.
Approaching 50 and don't have the problem of being ignored yet. Just a few weeks back some man followed me in his car after I refused to give him my phone number. He even got out of his car to block my walking path. I had to turn and go the opposite direction. (Away from the subway which is where I was headed.) Do you think this is over=inflated claims of abuse? I posted this on Facebook. My girlfriends said, "OMG scary." The men said, "creepy." Everyone was pissed.
However, I wasn't discussing catcalls. Do you consider it appropriate for a non-sexual male friend to tweak your nipple just because "you like it" according to them? How about when you told them you aren't interested and they insist you are? How about slapping you on the buttocks? Or when you go in to give a kiss on the cheek as you are saying goodbye, they move their face and put it on the mouth, again, in a relationship that is clear that there is nothing more, where it has been verbalized repeatedly, that you have no interest?
I can tell at least 10 other stories. To assume a woman is being overly sensitive is not true.
First off, sorry you've felt threatened. I'm sure it's not a great feeling. I want to say this because I think you feel I don't believe you. I do, however, I'm not sure if you've taken preventative steps after these things have happened to not get in a similar situation. You see, I've taken self defense course, so let me explain. We were talking in that class the other day about an instance in New Orleans where the victim was letting a friend into her house and noticed a car across the street with a "red flag" fellow, i.e. someone that she didn't think should be there. She visited her friend and "forgot" to lock the door when the friend left. She was victimized. Now do you think she was wise or should she have locked the door when she saw something suspect?
Now onto my questions...
Where did this happen? At a club? Read my posts about bars/clubs.
Sometimes I think a lot of people (both women and men) take extra risk that they shouldn't. I have good "street smarts" so I never get into situations. If there is a shady character, I immediately cross to the other side of the street, etc...
I've found when you stop taking inordinate risks and start associating with groups of people that share your interests there rarely are issues. And if the people you associate with have undesirable behaviors, maybe it's time to start associating with a new set of people.
These are hard lessons to learn I know but you're 50 so it's time to start maturing and wising up. It's entirely possible to surround yourself with people where this would never occur. As they say in the class, you can always play the victim or you can be the proactive person that never is the victim.
Last edited by cBach; 02-02-2018 at 08:21 AM..
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they are just such simple creatures! ...when it suits them.
