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Anyone who has paid attention will understand that this stuff has been going on for a long, long time, and new boundaries have to be drawn. For some this is painful. But I do not know a man on earth that I would call a friend who doesn't know the difference between harassment and flirting. Saying "oh, if i look at a woman its gonna be called harassment boo hoo" is ridiculous.
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If you read the #metoo twitter entries you'll see that some of them talk about employees that ask them out or say "you look nice today". The theme I found is that if the guy is cute the women all get together and joke about getting down and dirty with the guy. If they find the guy ugly, then it's considered gross and sexual harassment.
Also, if it's a woman soliciting a guy or grabbing his parts, it's always deemed okay. I suppose the next phase of this #metoo movement will be all the women accused of sexual harassment, which I suspect are tons of teachers and principals as those are the times boys are helpless and women are in authority.
If you read the #metoo twitter entries you'll see that some of them talk about employees that ask them out or say "you look nice today". The theme I found is that if the guy is cute the women all get together and joke about getting down and dirty with the guy. If they find the guy ugly, then it's considered gross and sexual harassment.
Also, if it's a woman soliciting a guy or grabbing his parts, it's always deemed okay. I suppose the next phase of this #metoo movement will be all the women accused of sexual harassment, which I suspect are tons of teachers and principals as those are the times boys are helpless and women are in authority.
Speaking of this , please go read my last post I posted today
I read it, sorry to hear. It was all too common unfortunately. I remember a female high school teacher joking with me about orgasms (when I was 16). If a male teacher did that with a 16 year old student he would be blasted on all the newspapers, twitter, etc...
I read it, sorry to hear. It was all too common unfortunately. I remember a female high school teacher joking with me about orgasms (when I was 16). If a male teacher did that with a 16 year old student he would be blasted on all the newspapers, twitter, etc...
Exactly. Sorry to hear about your story too. That's similar to what happened a few years ago about that Former Cincinnati Bengals Cheerleader that was afterwards a teacher, who was arrested for having sex with a male high school student who was 17 at the time (or 16 if I forgotten). She plead not guilty and she won the case. She is now married to the same guy
If you read the #metoo twitter entries you'll see that some of them talk about employees that ask them out or say "you look nice today". The theme I found is that if the guy is cute the women all get together and joke about getting down and dirty with the guy. If they find the guy ugly, then it's considered gross and sexual harassment.
Also, if it's a woman soliciting a guy or grabbing his parts, it's always deemed okay. I suppose the next phase of this #metoo movement will be all the women accused of sexual harassment, which I suspect are tons of teachers and principals as those are the times boys are helpless and women are in authority.
There may be some occasional truth to this, but that does not mean that when a woman says she is being sexually harassed that it is probably untrue. To say so is to be blind to everything that happens around you. I personally do NOT grab men's private parts in public and nor do I know any woman who does. And yes, I would agree with you, that that is harassment.
AT the same time, this does not happen NEARLY as often as it does with women, where it is part of a culture of normal behavior that women have come to expect. I have big-busted friends who get groped nearly every day, without exaggerating. Equating that with the 2 percent of women who grope men publicly is just a clever way of muddling the issue. If it bothers you, then campaign for it. If it bothers you, do something about it. But don't draw a false equivalency and expect that to make how a lot of women are treated ok or the issue superfluous.
Basically, being sleazy, or even a bit inappropriate has been raised to just below, or even equal to, penetrative rape.
Why is the standard so low that the only thing men should be concerned about is not raping people?
Quote:
The real problem isn't that we — as a culture — don't sufficiently consider men's biological reality. The problem is rather that theirs is literally the only biological reality we ever bother to consider.
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If you asked yourself why "Grace" didn't leave Ansari's apartment as soon as she felt "uncomfortable," you should be asking the same question here. If sex hurt, why didn't she stop? Why is this happening? Why are women enduring excruciating pain to make sure men have orgasms?
The answer isn't separable from our current discussion about how women have been routinely harassed, abused, and dismissed because men wanted to have erections in the workplace.
The old implied social bargain between women and men (which Andrew Sullivan calls "natural") is that one side will endure a great deal of discomfort and pain for the other's pleasure and delight. And we've all agreed to act like that's normal, and just how the world works.
There may be some occasional truth to this, but that does not mean that when a woman says she is being sexually harassed that it is probably untrue. To say so is to be blind to everything that happens around you. I personally do NOT grab men's private parts in public and nor do I know any woman who does. And yes, I would agree with you, that that is harassment.
It happens more often that you think and it does because mens' comfort is valued less in society and situations like this are either vastly underreported or not taken seriously if they are reported, so a certain type of woman will do this just for kicks and know she can get away with it. Or if a man actually were to say something, she'll figure out a way to twist it around to make herself the victim, and the vast majority of the time, she'd be the one believed. I'm not saying that most women would do this, but it does happen more than most decent women think.
Just think of even the way men are talked about in popular culture, as dumb "neanderthals", needing to retreat to their "man caves", and I don't see anyone in popular culture, especially not the feminist (i.e. female supremacist) establishment, championing how that's not an okay way to patronize men. If men say equivalent epithets about women, there are rallies and marches and calls for action, but not so for men who are degraded.
There may be some occasional truth to this, but that does not mean that when a woman says she is being sexually harassed that it is probably untrue. To say so is to be blind to everything that happens around you. I personally do NOT grab men's private parts in public and nor do I know any woman who does. And yes, I would agree with you, that that is harassment.
AT the same time, this does not happen NEARLY as often as it does with women, where it is part of a culture of normal behavior that women have come to expect. I have big-busted friends who get groped nearly every day, without exaggerating. Equating that with the 2 percent of women who grope men publicly is just a clever way of muddling the issue. If it bothers you, then campaign for it. If it bothers you, do something about it. But don't draw a false equivalency and expect that to make how a lot of women are treated ok or the issue superfluous.
No, the issue is not "superfluous", as you are trying to minimize the same problem that is happening to men.
For example, rape in prisons is rampant, and occurs to men *waaay* more often to men than to women.
Another thing is circumcision and genital mutilation, which is as old as history. This happens to men all over the world, but women conveniently forget this in their quest against genital mutilation.
Men have problems too. If you want more support from men, recognize that we're in this together!
The #meToo is not really about justice. Its more like mass hysteria. Very difficult to separate truth from fiction in this climate of hyperbole and exaggeration. It is just too much the mob mentality - running primarily on groupthink and emotion.
You just have to look at that Olympic Doctor/Diddler case as Exhibit A. (its actually more like Exhibit P, there have already been so many of these). But it really seems to stand alone in its level of absurdity.
What is absurd about it? "I need to message your pelvis from the inside." No problem Doc, little girls love that!
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