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You shouldn't have to be all proud that you didn't report something when maybe it should have - and you do say it was harassment, right? Why do you think they'd be charged with a crime if what you report is NOT a crime?
I never said I didn't report it. And I would never tell someone else to not report it.
I think it's wagging the dog to get attention off of the testimony of a young male who named names of men who had abused him and his late best friend.
I do believe most of these women. But like what Pamela Anderson says, you know better than to go to a "meeting" at midnight at a hotel room. You know what to expect. Doesn't make it right, no, but he's a sleeze. Men in powerful places... Power tends to corrupt. It's the victim who pays.
To some women, if her male boss yells at her because she didn't meet a work deadline, then that's considered harassment and a hostile work environment.
Hmmmmm....I've never had a boss yell at me or any other coworker - so yeah, that guy has an obvious problem. Depending on the other particulars it may be harassment or not but it is definitely inappropriate. You know, unless you're at boot camp or in a Mad Men episode.
I believe most of the claims are true, that is I don't think things are being made up from whole cloth, but it seems the litmus for what constitutes harrassment has been lowered.
Basically, being sleazy, or even a bit inappropriate has been raised to just below, or even equal to, penetrative rape.
Case in point, the allegations against Garrison Keilor. As I understand it he claims he was comforting a distraught woman who was wearing a midriff baring top and he placed his hand on her bare back.
Now, maybe he genuinely wanted to comfort he in a time-honored way through gentle human touch on a non sexual part of the human body, the back, or maybe he saw it as an opportunity to cop a feel of her spine. Either way, his honor has been called into question and some people are saying his action is a form of sexual assault, a term usually reserved for groping of breast or genitals all the way up to sexual penetration.
I am sensitive to the sanctity of people's bodies, but the line is moving into an area where it seems that any physical contact between two people may be seen as a potential crime.
The issue is what is harassment isn't just "You wanna make it in show-biz" propositions, private secretary dictation sessions, etc. I often think asking out isn't the issue, it is how it is done. Compliments are fine but not when you say they look like someone going for a night on the town.
You do not get it. This stuff is a spectrum. No one (at least not women) have ever equivocated low bar things with rape. The problem is that the bar for standards should not stop and "Do not rape people." Why is the standards such that a woman is supposed to white knuckle stuff that in any other situation would be completely acceptable. The normalization of this behavior is why, until now, men could get away with blatant harassment. We women have been socialized to suck it up. It's not ok.
I do not get it? Did you miss the part where I'm an investigator? It means I've seen things I sincerely hope you will never, ever see or be a victim of. "Don't get it," my hind foot.
As for your third sentence: You obviously have missed the women making the claim that because someone looked at her funny or said something she didn't like, that she felt like she'd been raped. It's all over Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube.
They have made a mockery of real sexual assault, and make it even harder for the real victims to get the justice they deserve.
You also were not in the room when a few of my troops did, in fact, try to equivocate utter BS with rape. It was beyond offensive to me that they even tried such a loathsome act.
No, I'm certainly not the person who doesn't "get it."
the women making the claim that because someone looked at her funny or said something she didn't like, that she felt like she'd been raped. It's all over Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube.
Although I realize there is a spectrum of behaviors, a woman being asked out on a date by someone she doesn't like or a guy wolf whistling at her is not the same thing as rape. So yes, to say it's like rape is an insult to victims of rape. I've read about women saying "me too" because they were asked out by a famous man who was married. That's not a victim at all. Is it inappropriate or annoying? Sure, but it's not victimization.
You do not get it. This stuff is a spectrum. No one (at least not women) have ever equivocated low bar things with rape. The problem is that the bar for standards should not stop and "Do not rape people." Why is the standards such that a woman is supposed to white knuckle stuff that in any other situation would be completely acceptable. The normalization of this behavior is why, until now, men could get away with blatant harassment. We women have been socialized to suck it up. It's not ok.
But where is the bar set for when it’s okay to call someone out, in writing, on social media & subject them to public vigilantism?
People are being tried & convicted in the court of public opinion without due process being afforded to them. If the facts are even just a little off, or exaggerated; that’s libel. If it’s announced out loud to an audience; that’s slander.
You want a bar; set a bar. But you don’t give one group a spectrum & the other group a bar.
They have made a mockery of real sexual assault, and make it even harder for the real victims to get the justice they deserve.
I agree.
And this is where I think some of my contempt for this movement is coming from. There are insinuations on this thread, that women have been “white-knuckling“ it through some clod saying “I’d like a piece of that”.
Which is so counterintuitive that it makes women look dumb. If you want to “socialize” multi-generations to a concept, you don’t achieve it by donning a crown of thorns & nailing yourself to a cross. That’s melodramatic & people don’t want to be associated with that.
There are going to be some pretty dangerous characters out there who will be getting away with some serious stuff because their victims know that they won’t be taken seriously while this is going on.
I know all about “white-knuckling” & it’s a good thing “Metoo” wasn’t active when it happened because I just don’t think I would have been strong enough to have pursued justice through the proper channels the way I did, if it had. And if I hadn’t? There would be a MeThree & a MeFour & who knows how many others.
I do not get it? Did you miss the part where I'm an investigator? It means I've seen things I sincerely hope you will never, ever see or be a victim of. "Don't get it," my hind foot.
I have stories that would make you cringe. Teachers that wanked off in front of me. Men who pulled their junk out on a crowded subway car to show me. Men who wouldn't take no for an answer, and continued to grab and touch. And worse. And guess what: every.single.one.of.my.female.friends.has.similar. experiences.
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As for your third sentence: You obviously have missed the women making the claim that because someone looked at her funny or said something she didn't like, that she felt like she'd been raped. It's all over Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube.
My suspicion is that there was an small amount of women who pushed the boundaries of credibility and they are being used a token to discount the 99% of the women who deal with this ridiculousness every day.
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They have made a mockery of real sexual assault, and make it even harder for the real victims to get the justice they deserve.
Where is the line drawn? Do you think it's ok for a guy to continue to pressure for sex after you have said no repeatedly? When you are in his car and have to depend on him if you want to get home? Do you think it's ok for a "friend" to tweak your nipple and when you object to it, they say, "You know you like the attention?" Where is the line drawn?
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