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I don't understand why public schools should consider themselves in charge of throwing dance parties anyway. If they would focus on academics I believe we would have better public schools.
Does dancing these days involve touching bodies? When I was in school, it didn't.
Teen slow dancng ... girl has her arms around the neck of the boy, boy has his hands on her waist. Arms are still short at that age (LOL) so it's pretty hard to avoid contact.
Not necessarily overly sexual, but there is still contact. Long gone are the days of the "proper" dance hold with his hand on her hip, her opposite hand on his shoulder, and the other hands clasped in the air.
Does dancing these days involve touching bodies? When I was in school, it didn't.
When I was in elementary school, the 6th grade, the only dancing we did was square dancing. Which did have some touching. I don't think anybody died from it. The junior high school dances I went to, I don't remember any physical contact at all.
... additional rule was you never danced with the same partner twice.
This wasn't a school function but something done by the town. It was immensely popular to the point where there was a limit of participants and if you didn't sign up that first day you probably weren't getting in...
I don't understand why public schools should consider themselves in charge of throwing dance parties anyway. If they would focus on academics I believe we would have better public schools.
I can see that argument. In which case, I don't think schools should be involved in sports events either. Since there is nothing academic about sports. On the other hand, I can see an argument that dance parties are teaching social skills, which could be useful to the students.
The amazing thing is, that this is still going on among grown adults at nighclubs, today. The men stand around on one side, watching the women dance with each other, or with no one, and avoid asking anyone to dance, for fear of rejection.
It's a strange society we live in.
Those ladies should be asking those fellas to dance!
Our city YWCA had occasional Friday night middle school dances for the 8th and 9th graders. While it was normally boys asking girls to dance they always ended each evening with a girl's choice slow dance. I was the "odd bird", a poor farm girl. I remember the night that that I asked the boy who sat next to me in art class to dance. He was part of the "in crowd", the rich kids who lived in those huge houses on East Hill. The immediate look on his face (which he quickly hid) was absolute terror as he glanced over to his rich "in crowd" friends standing near him. But, he then smiled at me and said "Yes" and we danced together. This was over 50 years ago and I still remember it like it was yesterday. I bet that he was teased by his friends later on but the kindness that he showed to me that night was one of my fondest memories from middle school and high school.
Quote:
Originally Posted by reneeh63
Both boys AND girls need to learn that not everyone will like them and that a request to dance or to be friends or to date can and will be rebuffed at times. That is a big lesson to learn. Everyone should be taught how to be courteous but also that NO means NO...EVERYONE.
Trust me I was told "No" plenty of times (often in very non-courteous ways). "No, you can't sit at our table in the lunch room", "No, you can't sit next to me on the fieldtrip bus", "Get away from our table in the library", "No, you can't sit there! I'm saving all of those seats", etc. etc. Perhaps, that is why the small act of kindness is so clearly remembered all these years later (I've managed to block away most of the negative things). (There was a lot of very open discrimination in our community against farm kids and kids from the "wrong side of the tracks").
A school dance rule described by a school district in Weber County, Utah as a way to teach inclusiveness raised concerns for one student's mother, KTLA sister station KSTU reported Thursday.
So apparently, this school has had this policy of NOT turning down anyone who asks you to dance. You HAVE to say yes, and dance with whoever asks you. This is a bunch of 6th graders.
The school is saying it's about being inclusive and teaching kindness. I think it's about teaching children, and especially female children that they don't have autonomy over their bodies. Honestly, if I was the mother of a female student (especially) I'd keep the student away from the dance, and go do something else special.
Either we believe that females get to have the final word on who they allow to touch their bodies...or we don't. I guess this particular school thinks it's more important to spare a boy's feelings, than it is to respect the girls' right to give consent.
I thoroughly agree with you. I do a fair amount of social dancing (3 whole days of it coming up this weekend), and I have every right to turn down a guy who asks me if I don't feel like dancing with him. I've never had a problem, probably because I am 5'10" and built like a Mack truck, but I've read a lot of comments on Facebook by women who claim otherwise.
Thankfully, there is a huge push towards mutual consent in situations like this amongst the organizers of the dance events and festivals that I attend. For the festival I am going to this weekend, this is their Culture of Consent statement:
Public service announcement from your loving Flurry directors:
We strive for a strong culture of consent at The Flurry. This means that all actions, on and off the dance floor, should be consensual. This includes "little" things like asking your partners if they wish to be dipped or picked up, and bigger things like not making unwanted advances on others. This goes for all genders. Please treat everyone with kindness and respect.
If you find yourself in a situation where you do not feel your are being treated appropriately by someone at the festival, and you feel you need help managing the situation, please seek out Site Services (folks in the bright vests working all over the place) and ask for their help contacting the appropriate people to help you out. You can also request help at the information table and they will contact the appropriate people to help you.
While we hope there are no situations where this is warranted, we are here to help and would like to create a safe space for everyone to dance and have fun!
What can you do to promote a culture of consent?
Be a role model of consensual behavior:
Be respectful of your partners and friends.
Don't make assumptions about what someone else might want.
Ask questions of your dance partners and people in your circle.
For example:
Dip?
Lift?
Do we have a mutual attraction thing going on?
Is it okay if I ________?
Respect without question that "No" means no.
And so on. If someone is interacting with you in a way that you are not comfortable with, use your voice.
For example:
No
Stop
I don’t like that.
Put a hand up to signal a stop.
And so on
If you are dancing with someone, or interacting with them in another way, and you are uncomfortable in a way that is not manageable with words, you have the right to remove yourself from the situation. Even if it's in the middle of the dance. Your personal safety is more important than the flow of a dance. If you experience this level of problem with a fellow dancer, please report to Site Services so that we can help further.
Incidentally, I have been on the Site Services crew for this festival for the past 7 years. This will be #8.
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